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Don't Die

What kind of work do you do? 


I usually draw girls with big eyes, that’s what I’m really interested in. I use my own face a lot, and I usually don’t paint boys. Oh, and it has to have bunny ears, too, or I won’t post it, unless it’s a commissioned professional painting, because I also do hyperrealistic oil paintings, too. I do a lot of oil, drawings, and some shirts.


But I started drawing more horror stuff recently, because that’s one of the styles I used to do when I was younger.


Where does the horror stuff come from?


I consider myself a Wiccan because that’s what I practice, white magic. And I experienced a lot of ghosts. 


My mom said that I had a sixth sense, because I would see stuff and make these really creepy drawings. Growing up, I would do drawings that were all emo, all dark. Everything I drew was so creepy and demonic. My mom thought I was possessed. I drew from what I saw, what I dreamt about. 


When I had sleep paralysis, I would see all this creepy stuff, and that’s why I drew creepy stuff. It actually traumatized me for a bit. Recently I made this lady that I used to see when I had sleep paralysis. She was really, really long and tall, and that’s one of my horror paintings–she would always appear in my dreams, and just look at me. It would scare me then, but I don’t see her anymore. Just by drawing her it helped me to understand some of this horror stuff.


So it’s a kind of catharsis to paint her?


Yes, definitely.



Were you just making the horror images for a period or is horror incorporated into your everyday work?


Those paintings were actually very recent. I have some old artwork from when I was little, 5 or 7 years old. I have all these creepy drawings, but they’re not as good as they are now. 


But I drew those horror pieces about 5 months ago. I was talking to my friend, telling her I had sleep paralysis, and I said, “I’m going to paint it for you right now, to show you. I’m going to draw this lady, because she’s imprinted in my head.” Most of my paintings are imprinted in my head, I don’t really use photographs. So that’s when I started to think, hey this is cool, let me draw more horror stuff.


Where does your other horror stuff come from?


All kinds of things. There was this one time when I was really little–well, I would always wake up at 4 am to go sleep with my mom, but I don’t know why. I would just wake up at that hour, listen to music on my iPod, and walk to her room. Whenever I walked there, I would see stuff. A bunch of people looking at me, like a bunch. I would have to run and cover my eyes. 


So the last time I went to sleep with my mom I had ran to her room and when I opened the door there was someone standing there. I couldn’t see their face or anything, and it didn’t feel scary. She had shiny skin, she was just this gold woman. She closed the door in my face. So I went back to my room, back to my bed, and I never went to sleep with my mom again. When I told her, she was like, “it has to be your guardian or something like that.” I don’t know what it was, but I guess maybe it protected me?


What’s your process like? 


I listen to a lot of music. Usually death metal or rock metal, old music as long as it’s rock, or indie–but it has to be rock. I just love rock so much. 


There’s also this song called “I Want to Leave” by The Plot in You, and I listen to it all the time right now, it’s my favorite song. Also this one that I listened to today when I was drawing, by Dead Poet Society, called “CoDA.” 


I only paint at night. I’m more comfortable, and I’m more awake. I use oil because it’s one of the softest paintings, it’s very easy, smooth, and soft, and so if you make a mistake it’s easy to paint over and fix. 


I paint at night. Only in the day if I have homework due, and I really have to finish a painting. Every single day, I have to start my paintings at night. I’m more comfortable at night, I’m more awake. 


A lot of people commission work from you on Instagram, and it seems like you interact with other artists a lot there. 


I guess I gained followers by playing video games. Lots of horror games–Amnesia, Left 4 Dead, Starbound, CSgo. I used to play CSgo competitive. And then Legal Legends, and Minecraft, of course, that’s like my favorite game.


I’m online a lot. I used to model when I was a bit younger, when I was 16. I love the attention. I love people messaging me saying, “hey can I buy your art?” I love all that. I want to become really well known at a young age so I can make a lot of money and pay for my college, for anyone who has talent to go through college, too. I want to get my art out there, for people to see it and buy it. I want people to see it and be like, “Oh she’s a cool artist. She has cool hair, she looks cool.” I want people to think that.


Do you have any artists who inspire your work?


I follow a lot of artists on Instagram, there’s a lot of artists I really like, and I don’t want to sound too cocky, but I never really got inspired by anything like that. I do watch a lot of anime, and that kind of inspired the big eyes that I love.


What scares you these days?


The only thing I’m afraid of is the ocean.

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