Well, it’s also the mirage of Instagram.
Exactly. It’s weird. I’m not gonna post on Instagram my credit card debt or the shit every day where I’m like, ‘What am I doing?!’
There are definitely some younger artists who overshare, though. Having been on social media for so long, you probably just have of a better gauge on what to actually share.
Right, I’ve seen a lot of people do that and I think sometimes I do want to be more real about it. But when I get the opportunity to do interviews, that’s usually when I am more comfortable talking about that kind of stuff. Because Instagram is a business card. When brands come to hire me and there’s a video of me crying about not having money—no shade to the people that are like that—but there’s a part of me that’s a businesswoman that thinks about these things, like, what does and doesn’t make me marketable.
How have you continued learning about your practice after graduating, since you didn’t continue with an MFA?
I think just practice—just doing it so much. I’m lucky to have a close, great group of friends who are also artists and encourage me to try new things.
How have you seen your subject matter progress? Have you noticed changes?
For a while, I was doing drawings that were trying to be funny—I wasn’t being as sincere with my stuff. But since I’ve been in therapy this past year, I’m finding myself making work that’s more genuine. The medium is still the same—I’m still drawing in the same style—but it’s been exciting for me to just feel more genuine and sincere with, I don’t know, even a saying I put on a cereal box. In the past, I’d be thinking I was joking about it, even though inside it came from somewhere. And I wasn’t being up front with that—I wasn’t being honest with myself. Now, I genuinely feel I’m being sincere with the stuff I’m making and that feels so good. That’s the best feeling—to be able to express myself with words, and visually. Then, I love the extra element of Instagram, where it’s like you post it and have all these people relating to it. It’s so good to know you’re not alone—to be like, ‘Okay, all these people get it too.’ I think in the past I’ve felt like, ‘What will people like?’ rather than, ‘What do I want to talk about?’
Some people worry that if they go to a therapist or work their shit out, they won’t be able to be creative.
Totally. And that is true for me, sort of. Before, I would just get these floods and stuff would just pop into my head because I wasn’t processing anything. But now that I’m dealing with my stuff, I have to try harder, which is fine, but that’s something I’ve noticed. I don’t get inspired the same way I used to. But I would never go back to how I was. Before I was just partying—that’s how I would deal.
How do you think Instagram’s algorithms have affected making it as an artist on social media?
These days, I feel better about it. There was a while where, when that algorithm stuff was introduced, I felt stressed out about it. I’ve also been trying to work with not attaching my self-worth to all that stuff, which can be hard because that’s where my job is. So, I’ve been working hard to separate that—this is my job, I make art, but it’s not who I am. Because when you do that and your posts aren’t performing well, or people are unfollowing you—I had a breakdown about that shit.
It seems like art is still your passion, but it’s become more business for you for the sake of your own mental health.
Yeah, exactly. Sometimes, I get bummed about it because it’s like, ‘Yeah, I miss that feeling of just creating something,’ because it’s inside and you just need to get it out, and not thinking about if it fits in with all your other stuff. But I guess that’s a sacrifice I have to make. But I have friends that work 9-to-5’s, and I also don’t want that. Being able to draw all day—even if it’s not without outside influence—is better than sitting in an office all day, at least to me. I’ll take the social media anxiety over that if I can just hang out with my dog all day and draw.
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