Boundlessly Yumi Nu

Music allows Yumi to shed the protective shell that the magazine covers, stylists, and photographers see and truly bare it all. office had the chance to sit down with Yumi to discuss her debut EP, her Hannah Montana-esque “double life,” and the self-care routines that help her to juggle all of it.

As a multidisciplinary artist, you are involved in so many different creative outlets. When do you feel most creatively free?

I think I feel most creatively free when I feel creatively safe. So with studio sessions or songwriting, if I don't feel comfortable or safe to express myself in the way that I really want to, which is, you know, a decent amount, then I don't really produce my best work. But I produce my favorite songs and write the best when I'm with my best friend Kayhan, who produces about 99% of my stuff. It's just because we have this flow and we have a sense of safety with each other where we feel like we can do anything. And I think that's really hard to come by.

It's really cool that you get to surround yourself with people from your personal life while working. Now looking more toward the modeling side of your career, when do you feel most beautiful?

I feel the most beautiful when I'm wearing something that actually fits me — and it's actually cool. Because a lot of plus-size stuff is so nerdy and lame. We're working on it, but I think when a stylist comes prepared and the looks are really dope and the hair and makeup is good and it's a perfect storm of everyone doing their job — that's when I feel my best. I really value good stylists. I think that's a night and day difference for me because it's not every day when I can have clothing options on set.

It's definitely super, super important that we're improving in that space. You've reached so many impressive milestones. What do you think success meant to you when you were younger and do you feel that you have reached that standard now?

I think when you're younger, your perspective is so small and warped by whatever you think is cool at the time. I guess success when I was younger just meant that I would be famous — like Hannah Montana or whatever. Now, I think — I mean, everyone defines success on their own terms. Maybe being successful is just being happy. It's surviving and thriving. It doesn't have to be so massive. I think my form of success now is just doing what I love for a living, which is amazing. I've already accomplished so many of my modeling goals. And honestly for music, my biggest goal is just to have people hear my music. It's not that crazy. Everyone wants to be validated for the things that they love to do. So, of course, it's a dream to feel seen — but I feel, in a way, that I could die tomorrow and I would be happy regardless. I've already had the privilege and the blessing of accomplishing so much of what I wanted to, and even more.

I fully agree that as long as I'm enjoying what I'm doing, that in itself is fulfilling. Yumi on the cover of magazines and editorial spreads is a QUEEN! But do you channel a different version of yourself when recording and writing music? Is that a more intimate side of yourself?

Oh, one-thousand percent. I mean it's a completely different personality. I almost wish I could bring my modeling confidence with me sometimes because music is so vulnerable and tender for me that it's almost too much. Sometimes I overthink and it's just too close to the core, where with modeling, I can hide behind whoever's project it is because I'm essentially fulfilling a service or a role for them. But music is really just me. There's no creative director. There are no references of what I want it to look like. It's literally just my art. With modeling, I do feel connected to it, but I get to play more with what other people want, where my music is really what I want. So if people hate it, I can't be like, 'Oh, it was so and so's idea.' I absorb all of the feedback from music. It's so personal. When I'm modeling, if someone says something I'm like, 'Whatever, it's just physical.' I can switch my feelings on and off because it is about my body and my face. Music is my voice and what I have to say and my writing style.

It's your inner workings. It can be scary to put it out for everyone to see. But I also think that's the magical thing about any artist, is learning how to be more comfortable with doing that along the way. And then when it's received well, it's that much more satisfying. Does your self-care routine change when you shift from modeling mode to recording music?

Yeah; when I'm busy with modeling, I'm traveling a lot more. And my modeling career and my music are never coexisting. If I have time off, then I'm doing music. If I don't, then I'm doing modeling. When I'm modeling, I'm definitely more tired and on-the-go. So I definitely do more face masks and baths. But music is almost like its own form of self-care for me when I'm not modeling. So I guess modeling is more of a physical self-care routine. And when I don't write music or make music for a while, I feel very backed up emotionally. It's like its own form of emotional release or therapy for me. So I wouldn't even say that I have a self-care routine with music because it is its own form of self-care.

The two sides of what you do remind me of Hannah Montana, like you said — it's like two completely separate parts of you.

It's funny. There's a reason why I related to her so much. The duality!

I actually wanted to discuss the idea of duality within your music — I noticed there's this really sultry and sexy sound in a lot of your songs, but they're also deeply personal and come from this vulnerable place. Some of your lyrics are almost therapeutic. Is that dynamic quality important to you in your music?

Thank you! Songwriting is so important to me. A lot of artists work with songwriters, and I do sometimes, but the ability to say what I couldn't have said otherwise, through a song, is so satisfying for me. To not have control over lyrics or the melody or the songwriting process would absolutely drive me insane. Because, for me, that's the meat and potatoes of making music since I don't produce or play any instruments. I wanna write songs that are so satisfying to me and to what I'm going through. You know when you're going through something and you're just so heartbroken and then you hear a song that's exactly what you're going through — I rinse those songs on repeat, just screaming the lyrics. I think that's such a satisfying part of music, especially if you're heartbroken or going through a difficult emotional time. Not that I am — I haven't been in a while, but I kind of miss it sometimes, to be honest. Because the satisfaction of listening to a sad song or a breakup song when you're sad — it just hits so perfectly. I think that writing songs, in the same way, is just as fulfilling. I want to write so that if I would've heard the song and it wasn't me singing, I would be satisfied. So to be able to do that for myself is like crack.

It's a completely different feeling, but it comes from the same place.

Yeah, and then mixing that with production of styles. It's crack for me.

I can imagine — the feeling of actually getting to put out an authentic product and something that truly comes from the heart has to be addicting. And getting to put feelings down and see it and relate to even your own words is really special too.

It's like when you're younger and you make an art project and it just looks really clean. You know, you cut everything a nice way and glued it all on and then you get to look at it. It's that satisfying element of, 'I made this!'

Totally.

If you take everything away — all the music industry layers and success layers, it's like, it's just cool to make something. I think I just love making stuff. It's almost like my inner child at play.

I've always been really drawn to things that connect me to my younger self too. With your music, do you have any artists that you channel or any that you've looked up to growing up?

I really enjoy singles more than an album. So it was always hard for me to lock into specific artists for a long time. I love cherry picking all these different styles and kind of making my own inspiration from that. But I've consistently loved Banks since I was 14 or 15. She's just such a confident weirdo and she doesn't give a fuck and I wish I couldn't give a fuck. I'm working really hard on it, but it's so hard. I care too much. But I love that she's not afraid to go places, lyrically and production wise. I feel that she really doesn't have any limits to how she expresses herself. Whereas I'm very inspired by that, but I even find my own limits of safety when I'm creating. I think another factor is that even art can become monetized. So I really love when artists don't portray that.

Yeah, you made a great point when we were talking about the importance of putting out an authentic product. But now, there are all these other factors that you have to think about, especially in the music industry. Something that you love can become really tough because then you have to satisfy other people's expectations. That can be a really weird thing to reconcile.

I think FKA Twigs and Grimes do a good job of that too. They're so unique that you know they're not trying to cater to anyone. I think that's so cool. They're really doing it because this is what they want to make and they're starting their own trends.

I know you said you're not at the point of being able to give no fucks yet — I'm not either. Working on it. But I do think it seems like you have mastered the art of balance really well. So what is your best advice for someone who might be seeking balance in their own life?

I think for the longest time I was really trying to force making music on my off time and it was making me resentful of myself. The pressure was making music not fun. And I think there definitely is an art to practicing and putting in your 10,000 hours — I totally believe that. But I also think that when I'm really burnt out and I need a break from everything, I just need to be a veggie that stays home and watches TV or just online shops all day. I'm working on not making myself feel guilty for being unproductive. I think that that makes my music better and it helps me to enjoy my job and modeling. Music remains something that I enjoy and will enjoy forever. Instead of cracking the whip on myself, I'm trying to balance time to just be a human that doesn't owe anyone anything. Even myself. Because at the end of the day, we're really on this earth to just enjoy. I'm a huge to-do list person and I'm always feeling like I'm not getting anything done. So I think the balance for me is making sure that I'm still enjoying my life. It's having Sunday park days or days when I'm not thinking about what I need to do. That feels very healthy for me now, but I have to be very present about it because it's not an automatic shift for me.

For sure. You have to work toward fostering that type of relationship with yourself. In both the music and the modeling realms, what do you think is the best way to continue creating more inclusive spaces? 

I think a huge part of it is up to the people in power. I mean, the modeling industry is really in the hands of casting directors at the end of the day. So Instagram is a great tool for us artists and models because we can market ourselves and brand ourselves the way we want. We can create our own audience on our own terms. Typically, that's the best form of autonomy and the only power that we have outside of the hands of the people who are booking for these huge things. I always have this feeling of, 'I hope you like me,' but at the end of the day, they're the key holders. It's really up to them and the brands if they want to change this space and include more people, if they genuinely care about representation — which a lot do, and a lot don't. But I think we're getting a little bit better with time. And for music, it's the same way. It's the people in power, record labels, the award shows, the people at TikTok — who are they putting on? Who are they supporting? We can only use the resources that we have and then push ourselves as much as we can so that our voices are heard. And as I said, it's amazing that we have the power of social media for that.

Social media definitely allows creatives unprecedented visibility, so I'm grateful for that too. I think things are changing but you're definitely right. A lot of this world functions from the top down, so hopefully we keep progressing. I want to dive into your EP a little! I know the title of it is the Japanese word for 'beginning,' which may signify the beginning of a new chapter or the start of your musical journey. With that being said, what would your ideal happily ever after be in this journey? 

I would love to put out an album and I'd love to go on tour. So much of our life is digital and virtual, and as creators, we don't get to meet the people that we interact with sometimes. Even with followers, you see a number and even if it grows, it doesn't click for me. You know, you're not imagining that amount of people in a room — it's so one-dimensional. It almost feels like sometimes I'm just shouting into a void. And even if my friends or family are like, 'Oh my God, you're doing so well!,' it's still so virtual that it doesn't feel real. So I love the connection of meeting people in real life and having real conversations. I want to experience more of that. So that's the element of shows. And I think, again, the definition of success for me is to just create and be heard. So I think I've already achieved my happily ever after, but I'd love to expand in the world of music and just have fun with it.