"Although I didn't write this song, it spoke to me in a way that made me feel as if it was my own story,” Brandon said. “I found myself playing it over and over again in my bedroom, remembering situations that I've been through.”
Check out the video for yourself below.
The rage in Jasiah’s voice is palpable in the track. The two artists had a very specific vision and story they wanted to tell, and they did just that. Truth seemed to be the word spoken the most while explaining their goals for “Rebel." About his self doubt, Jasiah remarked, “I wanna befriend everything in my head, but fuck all that shit right now. I’m gonna push through that shit. This video looks like a fucking movie. It’s gonna do something to people’s souls.” Trey hopes to spread the message that “there is power in looking how you look and feeling how you feel.”
This video, executive produced by Nick Vernet and McCray Sutherlin with Los Angeles creative studio and production company, Muddy Water, marks the second collaboration between Muddy Water and Telfar. Jasiah and his Panthers are decked in Telfar head to toe, as if its the uniform of the revolution. Jasiah's look in "Rebel" is from Telfar's SS20 runway show at Paris Fashion Week.
Read our conversation with Jasiah and Trey, and watch the video for "Rebel," below.
Hi! Congratulations on your new project, “Rebel”!
Jasiah—Thank you, I appreciate it.
How are you guys living these days?
J—With Covid going on, it’s kind of been a weird mid ground… I’ve definitely felt a lot better, but I’m gettin better. As time goes on, I’ve been realizing how strong my mental is. I’m painting right now, I haven’t actually painted before.
How’s that going?
J—Here I’ll show you.
Lovely monsters.
J—No, no, these are spirits. That’s how I interpret it. I’ll let people interpret it how they want, but for me it's a break in the space-time continuum, and that’s how life was made.
Oh, for sure I can see that.
J—Yeah, I don’t like seeing monsters.
That’s fair.
J—But I appreciate you being interested. Sorry I’m fuckin’ weird.
Not at all! What about you, Trey, how’s life?
Trey—It’s pretty good. Covid fucked me up, too, a little bit. It’s just fucked up everybody’s time. It’s been good. I’m growing facial hair, trying new things. And hangin’ out with my dog. and, you know, living.
The “Rebel” music video is Black Panther themed. I’d love to hear more about this decision, as I know you are making a very specific point with it.
J—Well, for me, the first idea was destruction and just showing the truth, and that’s always the first idea: just showing the energy of what’s going on today and what people are feeling like. We all feel alone; we’re all isolated in our houses, all day, everyday. So I wanted to do me, in the center of a street with a cop car… Then, it would cut to someone else in the same exact spot, but they’re by themselves ‘cause they also feel alone. And someone else, and someone else.... And we all are just breaking shit around us because there’s tension building in our heads; we’re just tired of all the bullshit. But it mashed together, my idea, with what Trey came up with, the actual treatment. We still got to smash the cop car and shit, and I like the idea and how it looks now. It’s still showing the truth, but showing something more powerful for black people right now. Right now we need to empower my people. In the song, I'm saying the truth; I’m saying, Y'all better get this shit together or it's gonna get bad. The video is showing the energy of what’s happening. He’s giving a gun to a kid, like, they’re starting to arm the black youth: We’re gonna have to do this shit now. It’s like the powers are trying to create a race war, but it’s not a race war, it’s a power struggle. But it feels like it has to be a race war, so the black youth are given weapons to arm themselves… so they don’t even get to experience a fun life.
Or, like, their own childhoods.
J—Yeah, your whole childhood is basically fucked right now. I’m always a person that looks to the light, but how things are turning out right now: there’s still police brutality, a lot more black people are going missing and getting killed, transgenders are getting murdered for no reason. It’s basically just repeating history. I was just watching a Rodney King video and it looks and sounds the exact same; it’s driving me fucking insane right now. But I'm a person that’s lookin’ to the light, that things are gonna change. That’s why I made this video. ‘Cause I believe things are gonna change. I fight with my doubts. I’m like, Damn, this song isn’t getting a lotta views, a lotta plays, people are not tryna listen to this shit, and most of my fanbase is white, so it's a bigger barrier that I have to break through, and I’m going to. FUCK ALL MY DOUBTS. Not fuck them, I wanna befriend everything in my head, but fuck all that shit right now. I’m gonna push through that shit. This video looks like a fucking movie. It’s gonna do something to people’s souls.
What was the vision like for you, Trey? Where did it come from?
T—The first concept was feeling alone, and then I wrote something more along the lines of feeling empowered and flipping the script because aesthetic-wise I wanted it to feel like afro-futurism. So, it’s like Black Panther Party meets the fucking Matrix. I like making videos in another world, another timeline, and that timeline for this video isn’t that far away from what shits like now, but just flipping the script. The beginning: he’s in front of the group, they have guns, they’re loaded up, and I wanted it to feel like how the Black Panther Party was doing in the 70’s- just arming up. Getting ready to protect yourself. Uprise against this. I think the vision just came from having all the extras; the energy was really amazing, and it felt like we were doing it all for a reason because we are doing it for a reason. Spread this message out and empower each other. Let each other know we’re all beautiful and we don’t have to put up with this shit. Just riding along the waves with that just made it look… the ending’s really crazy. The end is insane.
No spoilers. Having a platform to be able to speak your mind artistically is really important right now. Do you plan on continuing to make political music? “Rebel” is very political and obviously the video supports that.
J—I’ve always, throughout music, whenever anything happens for no reason or is wrong or unjust, I’ve always made a song, even when I didn’t have a platform. I do everything based off of feeling. I don’t feel like stopping. If I feel like something’s right, I’ma do it. So, what was your creative process in writing the song? J: I make a lotta songs, like, Fuck the Police. If you listen to the entirety of Apocalypse [upcoming album], it’s basically just like, Fuck the Police! The process of making [“Rebel”], it was on a completely different beat. But I wrote the chorus a little differently, and then it got rearranged, and I liked how it rearranged. It felt dark and powerful and more intense. I wrote a verse with this dude named Blaze. But they sent the whole thing to me with just the first verse and the chorus. So, I got that shit, and it was just the bass. Then I put the beat to it, but I just kept thinking damn I gotta put a second verse. I made the beat, and then George Floyd happened. I was like, That’s what I’m gonna write about. I made the second verse based on that. I’m a person that- I don’t wanna get a gun. I believe, Live by the gun, Die by the gun. But I ain’t livin’ by it… we could die at any time. I feel like black people should be ready for anything.
Are you very involved in your production?
J—I make all my beats, I recorded myself, I recorded my second verse.
That’s awesome. So, Trey, I’m curious what your creative process is for directing a video? What leads you to build a story?
T—“Rebel”, in particular, was the fastest I’ve ever written anything. I usually compile a bunch of references from this website called Film Grab. I just see all these stills from movies. I get inspired by looking at a picture or even taking a walk. Like, I saw somebody pushing someone in a shopping cart, like, Oh, that’s cool, you know? I like making things. I’m really inspired by cartoons and the concept that there’s no limitations to the creative process within cartoons because you can do anything, and just tryna bring that to life through music videos- making this kind of alternate timeline for everybody. “Rebel” was the fastest I’ve ever written anything. I just heard it and I was really fucking mad. I was like really, really, really, really, really mad. I wrote it in thirty minutes.
When inspiration strikes…
J—It hits like a wall...
Can each of you name a couple creative influences that not just influenced you for this project, but inspire you in general?
J—Me. Nobody else.
T—I fuck with that answer, I like that energy.
J—I am my biggest inspiration. I am the reason I wanna make beats, I am the reason I wanna talk about the things I wanna talk about, I am the reason. Trey, you’re gonna second that answer? T: I’m gonna second that answer. I guess… I like Khalil Joseph a lot right now. And Basquiat. And Warhol. Obviously those two.
J—Now, I’ll say that I study people. I’m not gonna say they’re my biggest inspirations or anything like that. Are you talking about music or political views?
I meant in any type of way—anyone that influences you creatively… or it doesn’t even have to be a person, it can be a thing.
J—Music, fucking music. Creativity. I’m fucking painting right now. I have not painted before. I’m painting. Before this music shit, I wanted to be a visual artist, and before that, I wanted to be a mechanical engineer. So, creating, creating, I just wanna always create. That’s my biggest inspiration.
What brought you to music, Jasiah?
J—My talent. My family, we’re very musical people. I grew up with 6 sisters: my dad is a guitarist, my mom is one of the best singers ever, one of my sisters in one of the best singers ever, my other sister is a very smart person and she can act her ass off, my other sister can play violin, my other sister can draw, my other sister can dance, my other sister can dance, draw, sing, you know, I grew up with a creative family. And caring. I care a lot.
So you sing opera… How does this influence your current music?
J—It’s powerful, I mean, I’m a skinny n**** that can scream loud, that can sing loud. I can sing opera without having a microphone near me and I can fill the whole room. I can fill the cathedral, I promise.
Your music spans across many genres: screamo, emo, rap, rock, etc. Where does your unique genre-bending sound come from?
J—I don’t really have a sound. That’s my take on it. I don’t just do emo, rock, screamo. For example, I sing opera. I do autotune shit too. I like tackling all spectrums because I have no sound. My sound is my voice, but in general, I wanna tackle everything. I wanna make a reggae song one day. Then people will ask, What inspired you to do that? I’ve just grown up with music. It’s not like a certain person was in front of my face and I was like, Oh shit, I wanna do this specific thing now. It was a progression. The start of my aggression was even listening to Tyler, the Creator. I listen to so much I couldn’t even pinpoint. I’m tired of answering the question with someone specific. Because it’s not someone specific. My brain just goes forward. I’m not thinking about who the fuck inspired me. I’m inspiring me.
How do you think listeners/viewers will connect with “Rebel”?
J—It’s the truth. People connect with the truth. And I’ve learned that I am the truth. People connect with the truth. The truth will set you free. I’m not lying in the song. Everything in this song is what’s happening right now. It’s just the truth. It’s gonna connect because it’s true. If it doesn’t connect, they’re in denial and they don’t wanna listen. These are the cries of my people. These are the cries of me. I’m hurt, I’m hurting. Every day, I look, and I’m scared. I’m tired of living in fear. I’m just hoping with my music, even when I was doing my screamo shit, I would say, this is for the n***** that feel like they can’t, and when they’re at my shows, they feel like they can. I want to inspire; I want to spread my energy the best way I feel is right, ‘cause my intuition is right.
What about you Trey?
T—I believe in his energy. I believe in his message. And we have a lot of similar views on a lot of things. The whole reason we came together is that we weren’t lying, we weren’t faking anything. It's very raw emotion. Speaking from something that we feel every day. Walking outside like, I’m terrified, but you can’t be afraid. I just want people to feel that and be inspired and feel empowered to find power within themselves and be comfortable with themselves. And know there is power in looking how you look and feeling how you feel. There’s also gonna be a lot of people who are fucking mad.
There’s always going to be people who are mad.
T—But, you know, fuck ‘em.
What can people look forward to hearing/seeing from you? Where is this year going to take you both artistically?
J—Progression. Shit, I’m about to make the best music ever. My computer just fucking broke, and I take that as a sign that I need to make better music. So, I’m about to make better music, I’ma spread more of my message and continue. That’s my whole goal.
T—To reflect and get better. This whole thing, even covid, even everything that’s happening, I loved it. I feel like there’s a renaissance going on, and there’s this revolution, and I’m kinda getting inspired by that and pushing myself to get better and making things that have purpose. Not only to me, especially to me, but to put the energy out into the world that I think needs to be put out into the world. Just tryna make that the focus of every project that I do.
When she mentioned chef Matty Matheson, I was even more sold. Her passion and methods in cooking mirror those in her writing process; improvisation and going with her gut are her ways to go! Remi performed a drive-in concert last Thursday, and in her whimsical world, I can imagine the cars dancing around to her joyful sound.
Congratulations on your new EP!
Thank you!
How did your drive-in concert this past Thursday go?
It went super well. It was so fun, and everybody really liked it. I think all the cars could see the projection… which is what I was worried about… It felt really awesome to perform again, after three months of not doing it, which honestly felt more like a year. I was shocked that it was only three months since I had performed. It was a huge release of energy for me, and it was the best workout I’ve gotten in quarantine.
What was it like performing in this new format?
Well, it definitely felt very different from a normal performance. Even though they were cars, I could still tell there was a lot of energy and excitement. I felt the energy; It didn’t feel like a graveyard of cars. It was really fun to interact with the cars with beeping and flashing headlights, so that made it feel a little bit more like an interactive experience and that there were actually people out there. It’s weird not to see very many faces, though. I could only see the faces in the front row of cars, which, I don’t know, I guess is a little isolating, but honestly, I felt a lot of really good energy.
What brought you to music?
I’ve always loved listening to music. I did a couple of talent shows when I was in elementary school, and that’s kind of where my whole music and performance started. I got really positive feedback when I was super young, and I just really loved doing it. It connected me to friends, and it was a really good outlet for me. I was in a little band when I was in middle school, and we did barber-shop quartet style vocal arrangements, which is kind of where I got my basis for harmony and melody, and a lot of performance. I think the thing that really drew me to music, even before writing music, was the performing music live for people. It was kind of my first love. I just loved doing it so much.
Who are some early musical influences of your’s?
My mom loved Prince, so I listened to a lot of Prince. My dad was super into classic rock; he was really into Led Zeppelin, Guns and Roses, ACDC, and all those kind of glam-rock bands from the 80’s. Stevie Wonder and the Rolling Stones; those are all really early. And then whatever was on the radio, I guess, when I was really young. Like, I don’t even know… Colby Caillait? Corrine Bailey Rae? Yeah, like all those singer songwriter girls I liked when I was younger.
What about some of your current influences, musical or otherwise?
I’m super into Matty Matheson, he’s a chef. I love him. Yeah, I'm obsessed with him all the time. Picasso is a classic favorite painter of mine. I love the show Forged in Fire… I’m just kind of obsessed with television right now. I’m super into any kind of reality TV competition shows, so like anything having to do with craftsmanship or cooking. Forged in Fire is a show where they make knives from scrap metal… super obsessed with it.
Since you mentioned Matty Matheson, do you like to cook?
Yeah, I love cooking, it's kind of my second passion. It’s kind of up there with music, I feel like they’re really equal in terms of things I love doing and am kind of obsessed with.
What’s your favorite dish to cook?
I really love making pasta dishes, and I love cooking meat. I’m really just improvisational in the kitchen, I don’t really use recipes at all. I’ve been cooking forever, my mom’s a chef, so I just kind of use my intuition a lot of the time and whip shit up. That’s kind of my way to approach cooking. But yeah, I love making pasta, pasta’s probably my favorite thing to do; I’m Italian, so…
Would you say your creative and writing process is anything like your cooking process?
I think they’re very, very similar. I kind of approach both in a very improvisational way, and go with whatever I’m feeling in that moment. I make a lot of decisions in a split second. I go with my gut a lot of the time in writing and in cooking, and I don’t overthink things too much.
So tell me about your favorite part of this new project?
Writing the songs is always the most cathartic and rewarding part, I think, along with releasing it. Now that the whole thing is out, I feel really excited. It’s very rewarding to see people connecting so heavily with what I’ve made. But, I think writing is always the most important part, and liberating part of the process. Definitely the most creative part. The releasing part is always like, I’ve already made the music, I’ve already done the thing, so releasing is kind of… it’s a little excruciating for me sometimes. But I’m super happy it’s out. And it’s getting a lot of random-ass radio play, which is very exciting for me. They’re playing it on KROQ right now. I was driving around in the car yesterday, and it just came on… I was like, Holy fuck.
That’s wild.
Super crazy.
When I watched the "WOO!" music video, I was distinctly reminded of Spy Kids… was this intentional?
That was definitely one of the main references for that video. We tried to reference Spy Kids and Willy Wonka, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. When I was little I was obsessed and also kind of scared of the Fooglies from Spy Kids. And the Thumb Thumbs. I fucking love that movie so much, it’s so good. I was obsessed with how the mad scientist dude just formed the clay heads and that’s how they were made. With the 3D scanning and with the styling that I chose, we tried to make it super fucked up and weird and whimsical but dark. We chose the sky, all the clouds, to kind of mimic all the big Fooglie slides from that one scene.
Which Spy Kids character would you be, then?
I feel like I always related to Carmen; she was my girl. But, I also love the Thumb Thumbs. And I kinda walk like a Thumb Thumb. I kind of waddle when I walk; people honestly make fun of me for it a lot.
The video was dreamt up in collaboration with Agusta Yr (@iceicebabyspice on instagram), whose work often involves goopy 3D renders. What was this collab like?
The whole filming process we did entirely together. It was like 2 weeks before everything shut down for quarantine, we were able to film on green screen and get all those 3D scans done. My main influence in that process was definitely the styling and the performance in general. I was kind of directing my own body. But I did all the styling, I put together all the outfits, and I had a pretty clear vision of wanting to look kind of fucked up and crazy. In the actual putting together all the animation and building the world out, Agusta and I collaborated on that together and figured out what the world wanted to look like. I knew that I wanted to have the tree with the boobs on it, and I knew I wanted there to be fruit and food all over the place and to look super like the candy chocolate waterfall world from Willy Wonka. That’s what we were going for. She put together all the animation, I have no computer skills; That was all her.
You’re always sporting crazy colors and 60’s/70’s style vibes, and your music videos certainly match. What helped form the vision for your aesthetic?
The vision for my aesthetic is kind of just what I like? In terms of fashion and my style, I’m all about thrift stores. I kind of just go in and pick shit out that catches my eye. I think I’ve just always liked mixing patterns, like literally since I was a baby. My mom said I would always assemble all these insane outfits, and my aunt would get mad… I think that’s kind of how I’ve been my whole life. I just like what I like, man, and I just pick it out. For the visuals, I’ve always been attracted to bright, for lack of a better word, trippy visuals. My favorite visuals in highschool were MGMT and Tame Impala, and all that colorful, whacky, trippy shit. I’m super inspired by crazy, out-of-bounds movies, like a lot of Tim Burton stuff, I’m obsessed with.
What message are you conveying with “I’m Allergic to Dogs!”?
I would say, Express yourself how you wanna express yourself, and don’t be afraid to be weird. Because, for me, a lot of these songs are just very, very raw expressions of myself and how I was feeling the day that I wrote those songs. There wasn’t too much editing beyond day one of writing. Stick to your guns, and be who you are.
Your music career is off to a great start. What’s coming next?
There’s gonna be more music, eventually, so we can all look forward to that. I probably can’t tell you when, or I’m not gonna tell you when, but I’m also looking for a permanent place to live. I’ve kind of been floating around for the past couple months, so hopefully I find a nice apartment or house to live in.
The album, independently produced with industry powerhouses Francis Farewell Starlite, BJ Burton, and Jim-E Stack, is a dazzling, heartbreaking, and endlessly listenable parable of an artist searching for her new relationship with fame and herself. As the title suggests, it’s a logbook of someone questioning the road she has taken to reach a new milestone. It is certain to evoke a resonance with all people who have been lost, and know the joy of wandering back home.
office spoke with Kacy Hill about her new album, concussions, LinkedIn job searches, weightlifting, the BMW 3 series, and her cat.
Hi Kacy, how are you?
I’m good! How are you?
I’m all good, where are you right now?
I’m in LA, sitting on my bed.
What’s on your mind?
I think the most pressing thing is I’m pretty sure I gave myself a concussion a few days ago.
No! From what?
I do weightlifting and I smashed my face into the barbell, like right between my eyeballs. I’ve kind of felt like I’m on a boat for three days.
I totally hear you, I was concussed recently. You feel a little dumber after it happens the first time. Makes thinking a challenge.
Yeah, I feel like I lost some brain cells in the process. It just feels weird. I feel like I’m just slow.
When bad stuff happens it makes the good stuff better, you know? Like you are maybe concussed but you got this album coming up, pretty exciting.
Pretty pretty exciting. I’m stoked. I’ve been working on and sitting on this album for so long now.
I really loved it. It’s always nice to cover someone whose work I really admire.
Oh my god, thank you!
Yeah! How do you feel about it?
I’m really excited. It’s the first thing I’ve put out that I feel really proud of. I had control of everything. I’ve been involved in every step of the way. It was my money. It’s my baby. And I don’t feel quite over it yet. Sometimes you put something out and you’re like, ‘God, I hate this.’ But I still really love it. And I’m ready to fight for it in any way I have to.
This is the first thing you’ve done since 2017, so what have you been up to this whole time?
Gosh, so much. I think the biggest thing is finishing this album. I spent a lot of time getting out of my last deal. I feel like there was a full year between releasing ‘Like A Woman’ in 2017 until 2018 where I was just like, ‘I really don’t know what I’m doing. I don’t know if I’m meant to do music.’ On the worst day, I was like, ‘Let me go on LinkedIn and find what type of jobs are open at a winery at Napa or something, I don’t have any other skills.’ I was just in so deep.
Well now you’re weightlifting so you could do the Olympics.
Yeah! Exactly. But I just spent a long time soul searching. This sounds kind of cheesy but I just fell in love with making music again and finding my purpose in it. Feeling like it had meaning for me. I didn’t feel like that the first go around. I spent a lot of time writing and enjoyed it. Finishing the album because I enjoyed it and loved it. I just want to get better at what I do all the time.
I actually want to get into that. The first time I heard you and I’m sure the first time most people heard you was your feature on Travis Scott’s ‘90210’ which is one of my favorite songs, and not long after you released ‘Bloo,’ which was, what, five years ago? How do you feel now versus back then when you rocketed your way into the music world?
Gosh, that was so long ago. I feel now I’m a lot more connected with the person I was then versus who I was in 2017. I was so new to doing music. I wasn’t exposed to people or money or fame or any of that where I grew up. That was the epitome of, ‘Ok! Sign a record deal, move into an expensive apartment get a BMW 3 series because that’s what you do.’ It felt so horrid and I felt embarrassed that I didn’t grow up with money and I have no family in any entertainment. I had no connections. I just erased certain parts of who I was to assimilate more into the LA world and life. All that shit that comes with certain cliques of the music industry. I don’t know, I just feel for young twenty, twenty-one-year-old kids who are thrust into this world. I just had no idea about it.
I looked into what everyone was calling you at that time, ‘Kanye’s New Protégé,’ ‘Who is Kacy Hill, Kanye’s New Protégé?’ ‘Kanye’s Protégé, Kacy Hill, Leaves G.O.O.D. MUSIC.’ It was all anyone called you back then. Now that you’ve left G.O.O.D. MUSIC, I wanted to know how you felt at the time about being labeled so immediately with such a designation that you maybe didn’t feel reflected reality.
What’s weird about it is that I’ve always felt so thankful to the opportunity Kanye gave me and what that situation gave me. It’s such an interesting thing to say, ‘Protégé.’ I never worked with Kanye on any of my stuff. I always felt a little disconnected from that. I don’t know if it was true. He gave me a record deal which is fire and there were a couple of meetings where he gave me really really incredible advice but…he’s busy, you know? I wasn’t anyone’s protégé. I was like, ‘Cool, you can call me that,’ but I don’t think anyone who worked with either of us would say that. The relationship was not that close.
Going off of that, could you elaborate on why you left G.O.O.D. MUSIC?
I mean, there are so many reasons. Number one, it was really difficult to navigate the world. G.O.O.D. MUSIC felt like two different labels. G.O.O.D. MUSIC wanted to put out culture-shifting records while Def Jam wants to make money, it’s commercial. I never felt like I was making good use of myself. I was either trying to please Def Jam, being commercial or poppy, but when working with Kanye’s people it was like, ‘Make this cooler.’ I wasn’t actually bringing anything I wanted to do. Part of the time I was convincing myself that I was in control and it was what I wanted to do, but I don’t know that I even knew what I wanted to do. It was very confusing considering I was so new and that wasn’t anyone’s fault but my own. I also was tired of the bureaucracy of a major label. It was so frustrating. I think it all had to do with the situation I was in with management and everything else. Like, ‘Look I just finished this song, I want to put it out.’ And they’d be like, ‘Cool, we’ll put it out in six months.’ Waiting for everyone’s approval for budgets and artwork. Everything was so draining. It kills the creative process for me. I want to be involved and I want to be able to have control over everything and I didn’t feel like I was in control.
You mentioned on the new album you feel more in control, so I’m guessing you feel leaving G.O.O.D. MUSIC was the right move.
Yeah! I mean, there are some days where I’m like, ‘Hmm…was that a mistake? Now I have to invest a lot of my own time and my money into this.’ There are a lot of successful artists who are still on G.O.O.D. MUSIC who are navigating it well like 070 Shake and Teyana Taylor. I think they’re so sick and I have a lot of respect for them. But at the same time, I felt like I needed a change in every area of my life. I changed management, I changed labels. I just did everything differently and I needed to find my head again, find myself again, and figure out what I want to do.
That makes me think about the title of the album, ‘Is It Selfish If We Talk About Me Again?’ It’s such an assertive name for an album, do you want to speak on the thought behind the name?
Thanks! Yeah, I think it’s just this idea that I’ve always been afraid to occupy too much space. When I was young I was really shy. And if we’re gonna get into childhood stuff, I think with my mom, I wanted to be really well behaved and I didn’t want to cause a disturbance. I wanted to keep shit together. And in my adult life that’s translated into me having to be assertive when I ask for things. I find myself having to apologize for a lot of the time when I do when I ask people to do things for me or to help me. There’s the idea of wanting to talk about me again and make everything about me but feeling guilty about it, having to ask for permission.
The album was produced with Francis Farewell Starlite, BJ Burton, and Jim-E Stack. What was it like working with them?
So much fun. There was such a small group of people working on it. All three of them are in it for the music. I needed that. It’s the first time that I’m not worried about the name or the money part of it. I wanted to make music that I enjoy with friends. I enjoy them as people and hugely respect what they do. They’re all so fucking good. For me, it was such an honor and I’m so proud of it and so happy that they were willing to work with me.
I listened through the album three or four times and I’m not sure I got everything out of it. There are so many reflections on fame. What were the themes you were going for?
It was really about finding myself again. I don’t think I’ve been in love the way I am now. So much of me is given to this person and it’s kind of terrifying. So I wrote a lot about that and the idea of, ‘Oh shit, the more you fall deeply for someone the more they can fuck up your life.’ And a lot of finding myself after the first album and feeling like I need to reconnect with the little Kacy that grew up in Arizona. Finding myself through all the bullshit. Also reassuring myself that I’m not a failure. I think after the first album especially I was so depressed. I felt like I failed in so many ways. I have the tendency to be hard on myself. Label things when they don’t go as planned.
What have you been doing to keep yourself energized during quarantine? You’ve been weightlifting and it looks on your Instagram like you’ve been playing Mario Kart and making shirts for the LA Food Bank.
Yeah definitely a lot of that. I haven’t been making tons of music. In the beginning, I was feeling pressure to pump out music. I’m such a collaborator that I was just frustrated. I’ve been honing my piano skills and using that to write songs in a new fashion. I’ve been making lots of t-shirts. I made a little screen-printing factory here. I’ve been tie-dying a lot, weight-lifting a lot. I got a cat. She’s so fucking cute. Kind of been vacuuming a lot. Journaling. I need to stay busy or else I get really anxious.
I also wanted to know if you’re interested in getting more involved in the fashion industry after spending time as a model when you were younger, making these shirts. Would getting into fashion be something you want to pursue?
Hell yeah. I definitely want to explore every avenue I can. I’m focused on making everything sustainable. If I can expand it into something sustainable that would be great. I want to source everything responsibly. So many artists are into fighting climate change but we use so much stuff. I’m trying to be active in sourcing everything sustainably and I’d love to grow it into something more. Saam: Now that you’re on this path to explore your avenues of creativity, what else do you want to explore? Kacy: God, everything. I want to try everything I possibly can. I would love to act. I would love to find more clothes. I would love to cook and do a cooking show. I’m down for everything at this point. Everything good that’s happened in my life at this point has been so unexpected. I’m gonna let the wind take me wherever it does and let it happen. I’d be so down to move to a vineyard or a farm or whatever and help there. I want to live a full life. I want to try everything I possibly can.
![Jasiah - Rebel [Official Music Video]](https://officemagazine.net/sites/default/files/styles/video_screendump/public/media-youtube/Mbl5Go9dUYc.jpg?itok=va2CmA1m)
