Emma Stern

What is your ideal office?

ES – I do not dream of labor.

What would you like to be buried in?

ES – I’d like to be buried in a field of walnut trees, so my remains will fertilize them, and people can eat my nuts long into the future.

What is a formative childhood experience you still remember? 

ES – For some reason, my parents inexplicably had this giant lithograph portrait of Gandhi hanging in the living room. When I was maybe five years old, I asked my grandma who he was, and she explained to me his historical significance. I then asked, ‘Well where is he now?’ And she said ‘Well, he passed away a long time ago,’ to which I responded, ‘How did he die? Did he get sick?’ And my grandma said, ‘No he was just very old. Everyone dies eventually.’ She said it so nonchalantly, but it was in that moment I was confronted with an acute awareness of my own mortality for the first time—it had never occurred to me I would ever die. My first existential crisis! You never forget your first time.

Which weather phenomenon best describes you?

ES – Google ‘HAARP clouds.’

Where did you lose your virginity?

ES – In the backseat of a Dodge Neon—I’m from New Jersey.

What do beauty and violence have in common?

ES – My old creative writing professor always said, ‘The only things you can ever really write about are sex and death because they are the only things that actually exist.’ Not sure if that answers the question, but it feels relevant.

What is the most meaningful item in your wardrobe?

ES – A 25-pound chainmail dress given to me by the previous tenant of a previous apartment as she was moving out. I never saw her again, but she was in an all-girl Motley Crü cover band called Girls Girls Girls.

What was the last song that made you dance?

ES – I think Madonna’s Ray of Light is the most underrated trance album of all time, I dance to it daily.

You meet God. How does she smell?

ES – Sharpie.

What are your favorite and least favorite things on the internet?

ES – My favorite thing is the DeviantArt forum pages. Least favorite is my old Photobucket, which I cannot recover the password to and therefore cannot delete.

Who is the youngest person you trust?

ES – I trust all babies because they don’t lie.

Which mythological creature do you most relate to?

ES – Shrek.

What is the magic word?

ES – Yes.

If you had to see the world in only two colors, which would you choose?

ES – Black and white seems most practical, I guess.

What is the most inspiring taste, touch, smell or texture when it comes to your practice?

ES – In order: coffee, a freshly washed hoodie on bare skin, coffee again, bare feet on hardwood.