Getting Closer to LST
There's a Joni Mitchell singer-songwriter quality to her heavy, lyrical ballads of heartbreak, though the folkiness gets flipped on its head with the use of auto-tune and eerie, minimalist guitar. Sticky pop hooks and digitized vocals crooning psychoanalytical lyrics is a surprising and powerful paradox, standing up to any cliche about pop music being trite or firmly formulaic. Having listened to the ethereal and unexpected EP on a loop since it's release, I was grateful for the chance to dig deeper with the artist herself, and uncover what I could about Closer, as much as where, and who, it came from.
Is being a musical artist something you always saw for yourself?
I think that I have always wanted to pursue music but I was too scared to admit that to myself because I didn’t believe that it was an option for me or something that I could be good at. I’m a perfectionist and I didn’t allow myself to even attempt to write music for a very long time because I was so scared of writing something bad. I had to get over that ego part of it, and I wrote a lot of bad songs before I started to feel like I was getting to some that I liked, but I’m so happy I pushed through.
What are your inspirations and reference points? The aesthetics and sound itself seem dichotomous almost, and I don’t mean that in a bad way. It’s a compliment.
I'm happy you say that because I also feel like there is a feeling of dichotomy and opposition in the music. Like the use of autotune and some of the hyper pop elements in the production feel in contrast to what I hope is a feeling of authenticity in the songwriting. I reached out to Charles of Planet 1999 about working together because I love PC Music and I loved their album Devotion. I sent him over the stems for the first version of the song, which was a really stripped down demo, and he sent me back the version that’s on the EP now. It was the first time I had ever heard my voice with auto-tune on it and I was pretty adverse to it at first, mostly because most of my favorite musicians and influences — like Mazzy Star, Fiona Apple, Cat Power — all have this really strong feeling of honesty and vulnerability in their work that I admire and hoped to emulate, and I was afraid that by using something so ultramodern I would be taking away from the deeper emotional content of the songs. But I sat with it for a while and ended up really falling in love how the two elements, this synthetic feeling and a sense of genuineness, worked together.
What was the hardest or most fear inducing aspect of this process?
I think the hardest part has actually been releasing the songs after keeping this part of my life private for so long, I think I had forgotten that releasing was actually a part of the process. It feels really scary to have them out into the world, but really rewarding, and exciting to think that people might be able to connect and relate to the songs.
Are there specific people, places and things that have grounded you?
Where I grew up in Upstate NY, Woodstock, has always been really grounding for me. I wrote most of the EP while living with my parents at my childhood home during the pandemic, and I shot the cover art there with Eric Chakeen which felt really right and like a true representation of the project. I feel best and most creative when I am surrounded by nature and have space to think. And I do a lot of prayer and meditation to feel sane.
What’s it been like working with WEDIDIT and Shlohmo on your first EP?
Working with them has been the best experience, they’ve been so supportive since the beginning. I’m definitely a control freak and have a hard time trusting anyone else with something I’ve written. The first time I met Henry (Shlohmo) I played him all of the demos I had, which had been sitting in a dropbox folder for years because I couldn’t figure out where to go with them, and he knew right away how to finish them. When a producer understands what you are trying to do and is able to add to your vision without compromising it it feels like a really special thing. I feel very lucky to have worked with Henry on all of the music I’m putting out, as well as Ben Morsberger (Juice Jackal) and Jasper Patterson (Groundislava) who both contributed to the EP and my upcoming album and are so talented.
How do you think you have changed in the time since starting this album? How do you hope to going forward?
A handful of the first songs I ever wrote are on my forthcoming album. When I started writing music I felt really lost and had a lot of unhealthy coping mechanisms. I didn’t know who I was at all then and I feel like I am able to listen back to those songs now as a sort of a diary of the last almost decade of my life and that can feel both painful and therapeutic. Including a lot of my early songs on the album feels scary but also like I am giving that part of my life a sense of closure. It’s been really nice to finish these songs and to be able to write from the place I am at now and see how different I am as an artist and how I have changed as a person. I feel like I’m always changing and growing so I’m excited to see how my music continues to evolve along with me.
Which song do you feel most personally attached to?
I think I’m most personally attached to "Not Enough", which is funny because it’s the only song I’ve ever written from start to finish with another person. I usually write alone, but I wrote this one with my friend Jeremy McLennan the first time we met. I usually tend to write about myself or my feelings or experiences in relationship to others, but this one feels really solitary and vulnerable.
But my favorite track on the EP is "Running". It’s my favorite sonically, and I like that it sounds like a love song but it’s really a break up song about wanting to run away from someone who you used to want to be close to.
If you had to pick a "rose and a thorn" of your experience making the EP what would they be?
The rose would definitely be meeting and working with amazing collaborators. I feel really lucky to be surrounded by so many talented and creative people. The artist Sara Dibiza made such a beautiful and ethereal lyric video for the first single, "Walking Away", I am a huge fan of her work. I don’t have any thorns. Even though these songs and the ones on the way have taken years to finish, I really think everything has happened when it was supposed to There were definitely painful periods over where I felt lost and discouraged, but I am so happy I waited until I found the right people to take on this project and to help me to finish it, instead of giving up on it or settling on my vision. I don’t have any regrets or things I would change about the process.
Many artists have an alter ego when they perform, do you feel like you truly are LST or is LST a creative persona?
Hmm. I feel like it’s me! I am pretty shy though so I feel like when I start performing I will have to adopt some sort of a persona to get me through that, but the music aspect feels like it comes from a very personal place.
What’s next for LST?
Live shows and touring! My first full-length album will be released before the end of the year on WEDIDIT!
