ZB— Yeah. I also think digital spaces are an extension of physical spaces, right? Like, we created this digital realm because there are hurdles such as land acquisition, being able to pay rent—monetary things that are kind of standing in the way of being able to gather in a space. In creating these spaces, we are essentially able to fill the gap in resource distribution. What are your inspirations in creating Solace, your digital healing network, and what are your hopes with the platform?
LA— My inspirations are really through my experiences. Growing up, I witnessed a lot of people, personally and interpersonally, who really could have benefited from the resources that we have on Solace. That was one of the foundational conversations that Natalia [Mantini] and I had when we met—that we both felt it on a personal level, and just seeing the people that we love, for lack of a better word, go through it when they didn’t have to. A lot of times when people look for those resources, it can be really isolating, and it’s very institutional, and it doesn’t feel like someone is there to help you. You’re overwhelmed and you’re looking for this all on your own, and in creating [Solace], we were very delicate in the way that we approached it, because we didn’t want people to feel isolated in coming into that space. We really wanted people to feel like if you have a need, we’re here for you, we hear you, we see you, and we feel you, above all. We want you to feel that and feel like you can come to this space and it’s open, and you can share whatever you’re feeling, regardless of what it is. We really talked about how in our personal communities that’s really stigmatized, and that’s something that we want to change and not entertain anymore. We’re at a place in the digital world, and just in society, where we should be able to look at each other and walk up to each other and be like, ‘I’m not okay,’ or, ‘This is what I need.’ Then somebody should be like, ‘Okay, I got you. Here’s where you can go.’ It shouldn’t be a conversation where people shun you. I think those conversations should be had with empathy and understanding first and
foremost. That’s definitely my hope with Solace: that we start to create those conversations, and our communities start to look internally, and are like, ‘Okay, what is the better way that we can go about this? Not just for myself, but for the people around me, for the longevity of our people.’
ZB— What are the forms of survival patterns that you feel like your parents have passed down to you? Things that you’ve learned in the defense of being in the crossfire in arguments with your siblings, your parents, or whatever it is. And ultimately, as a Tejana and a woman of color from El Salvador, how do you apply those lessons into your own life, and how do you see the manifestation of your survival tactics play out in the life that you have now?
LA— I was raised in the south by immigrant women, so that is always at the forefront of whatever I’m doing. Specifically, my grandmother—she is the strongest person I know. She has survived a civil war, crossed the border twice, never learned how to read, or write, and this is what I carry with me every day. I was just back in Texas and I visited her, and I spent a lot of time with her, and just looking at her, she still works. But she inspires me in that sense that she’s like, ‘No, I’m going to do it. Regardless if it’s already here or people are telling me I can’t do it, I’m going to do it.’ My mom is much the same—she definitely verges on the side of tough love, which I think I need as a person. She was always like, ‘No, you can never give up. You have to persevere.’ She was always instilling in me to have a lot of heart. She’s like, ‘You might want to do some stuff when you’re growing up, and if you feel like you want to do it, do it, even if the world is against you.’ And I think in creating
Solace and some of the other stuff I do, I have had moments where I’ve been really scared, and I’ve been really, really terrified because I couldn’t necessarily go to someone and be like, ‘I’m creating this. How do I do it?’ I couldn’t go to my mom and be like, ‘This is what I want to do. How do I make this happen?’ So, I really had to just be like, ‘No, I want to bring this into the world because the world needs it, and the people that I love need it, and I’m just going to do it.’ There’s trials and tribulations within that, but I think they have definitely passed down to me the feeling that this world is intense, and any way that you can alleviate yourself from that, do it, and do it with purpose, and do it with intention, and do it for the people that you love. At the end of the day, that’s that.
ZB— The thing that you brought up is intentionality and also just being able to fear... It’s because indecision puts us in places of desperation. Our stories are about women making strides in their community, but also being influential in ways that are not commodifiable, not conventional.
LA— One thing I always think about when I’m working with other people and we’re building something—it’s really that sentiment that I grew up with, that my mom passed on to me and just everyone that I knew growing up—is being able to look at somebody and be like, ‘I got you, regardless of where we go on the journey. I mean, it could be a rollercoaster, whether it’s good or bad, but I got you at the end of the day, and I’m going to hold you down through that.’ That’s really my outlook. I hope that what I’m making makes people feel like that in the digital space. Like, ‘I really got you. I’m thinking of you.’ I’m taking the algorithms and everything else
into account, but I’m also taking into account our experiences as people, and how you can go through things and how you can transform through those digital spaces, or transform those digital spaces. My motto is love, labor and lastly, logic—that has always been the journey for me, and making sure that my people feel like they’re
taken care of, whether that be in the physical or the digital world, and really just opening up the digital world for people like us. We’re here. We’re not going anywhere. So, why not make these digital spaces catered to us and our people? That’s a legacy that I want to leave: that when you see something or you’re in a system where you feel like it could do better, or could be made better for yourself or for people of color or people in need, do that. Radicalize it. It’s not going to be beautiful all the time, and the process isn’t smooth—I will say that. It can involve a lot of pain and it can involve a lot of work, but it’s all going to be worth it in the end. Just doing that for each other and having each other’s backs more than anything is so important.
ZB— I think a lot of the time, I get scared because I am like, ‘I have a larger mission. I don’t really know what to do, and I’m scared. How do I make this happen?’ I know that in the work that you do, you’re obviously able to organize and create a cohesive system to make sure that things like these exist and are able to sustain themselves... How do you think the world we live in now has changed as a result of your work?
LA— I think one thing that my work has done is maybe teach people to look at the digital world a little bit differently. If you think about it, the internet was really made 15 years ago. It wasn’t that long ago. Everything that it is now was decided then by people who really weren’t thinking of longevity, and the people like us who have to interact with it and be a part of it on a daily basis. One thing that my work brings to the table is that we can stir this up. We can make this work for us, and we don’t have to necessarily be okay with the way things are. We can change it. If we want to create space, if we want to open up space—however we want to do that—we can do it, and we will do it, because that is our right in having access to the internet and access to these digital spaces. They are a replication of our physical ones, as you said. So, if we’re going to go into them, why not make them a little bit more bearable for us or someone who we love, or someone in our community? That’s really
what I think my work brings to the table—the fact that we’re going to radicalize this. And it might not be graceful all the time, but we’re going to do it, and we’re going to do it with intention, because we see something bigger not only for ourselves, but for everyone that we love and all of our communities.