Shelby Sells: The Sexologist Series

Spanish model, artist, and women’s rights activist Margalida Maria sheds light on female empowerment and sexual liberation. From modeling to artistry of the dick pic, Margalida pulls inspiration from all aspects of life. A force to be reckoned with, she confronts the emotional fragility of our generation and “ghosting” in the dating scene.

What are your feelings on love?

I would love to be in love. The hard thing is I need to find someone who believes in freedom like I do. I want to have a 100% free relationship – that means no jealousy, we don’t own each other, we are best friends, and you are confident that you love me and I love you. It’s difficult for me to fall in love because of that. I think it’s the way we’ve been raised… Princes and princesses… Love forever, just one love your entire life… That could be, but that’s different than sex. I’ve never had an open relationship while in love with someone. I think I could do it. I think I could be deeply in love, but feel attracted to other people. I want to fuck with them but it means nothing. I want to be with my main person forever, my partner in crime, but I also want to have other experiences. I love experiencing different things always. If you put those barriers around me it’s like you’re killing my soul, the way I am. I need to find someone that understands that and not doing it because I want it, but because you feel the same way.

How do you deal with jealousy?

The only boyfriend I’ve ever had I met at a disco. I was wearing a very sexy outfit. That’s how he met me. One night after we’d been dating I got dressed to go out with some girlfriends. Naturally I was wearing a hot outfit. He asked if I was going to go out like that. Excuse me? If you knew me going out in only a bra what do you expect? Did you think I was going to be different? That’s the point. If you know me and you love me it’s because of the way I am. People don’t try to change their best friends. Everyone has good and bad things about them; things you love and things you love less. You don’t try to change them. Why do we do that all of a sudden when we’re in a relationship? You fall in love with someone because of who they are and then comes a point where you want to change them. Why? That drives me crazy. I think a lot of it has to do with ownership.

What was it like growing up in Spain and being so comfortable in your skin and your sexuality?

I grew up in a super small town on an island. It was hard for me. I spent 12 years as a gymnast and had no ass, no tits, no shape as a teenager. All my friends were developing while I wasn’t. Boys used to laugh at me and pay me no attention. My body developed and all the boys finally started paying attention to me. I had the power. It’s so sad that you have to be hot or pretty or the way guys want to feel confident in yourself. I realized I had to stop being sad and conditioning my life for other people because they don’t understand me. There was a point where I said I don’t give a shit about anything, that’s it. I dressed the way I wanted; I presented myself the way I was. It was incredible, trust me. People are always going to talk about you. No one will always like what you do. When I gained self-confidence it was amazing. It is hard but I’m being myself and that’s all that matters.

What was it like growing up in Spain and being so comfortable in your skin and your sexuality?

I grew up in a super small town on an island. It was hard for me. I spent 12 years as a gymnast and had no ass, no tits, no shape as a teenager. All my friends were developing while I wasn’t. Boys used to laugh at me and pay me no attention. My body developed and all the boys finally started paying attention to me. I had the power. It’s so sad that you have to be hot or pretty or the way guys want to feel confident in yourself. I realized I had to stop being sad and conditioning my life for other people because they don’t understand me. There was a point where I said I don’t give a shit about anything, that’s it. I dressed the way I wanted; I presented myself the way I was. It was incredible, trust me. People are always going to talk about you. No one will always like what you do. When I gained self-confidence it was amazing. It is hard but I’m being myself and that’s all that matters.

How does it affect you in New York?

I moved to New York because I felt I could be anyone I want to be here. There are so many different types of human beings here. The things you see and the people you see… they don’t give a shit! That empowers me more. It makes me feel so comfortable with the world – like the world can change. It’s total freedom.

What projects are you working on?

I working on a project called “Dickstagram” compiled of all the dick pics I’ve recieved on instagram becuase of my nudes. I want to do something great with that, you will see. 

What’s something you’ve always wanted to try sexually that you’ve never had the chance to try?

Right now I’d like to have a threesome with two girls, to be tied up and fucked, and to fuck a guy (laughs). I think that’s it for now. I have a pretty open mindset.

Let’s talk about dating in New York, what has been your experience?

Dating in New York is so difficult. In Spain it’s a little bit different. The thing here that drives me crazy is why are people so busy all the time? You can have two really amazing days with someone and then that person disappears! Why? And then they reappear a month later like, seriously? I understand if you have a lot going on, but I still think it’s rude. You can text someone and say “I’m sorry I’m super busy let’s talk when we’re both free,” but they just disappear! I’m not saying you have to give an explanation to everyone, but a simple text would do. Please have some respect people. I understand if you don’t have a very good experience with someone, but if you want to see someone again you will make the time. One thing I’ve noticed is that it’s super difficult for American people to show their feelings. I think it has to do with our generation. We don’t want to show our feelings because we don’t want to be disappointed or hurt. I don’t understand why that’s so bad. Man, that’s life! You can fall down in the street and be hurt. That’s life! You get back up and that’s it. I’d rather do something and regret it than not do it at all.

How do you identify sexually?

I don’t use a label. I think there are too many names for too many things. If we start looking at each other as human beings, I think that would be a good thing. All humans need to recognize themselves in groups. If you don’t find a group it can drive you crazy. I think that’s one of the biggest problems. If you take away all the groups you know you’re a part of society and that’s it. You don’t need to put yourself in a group because you’re part of a whole. It doesn’t matter if you have a penis or a vagina or both or neither because at the end of the day we’re all human beings. I can explain it better in Spanish, but I’m doing my best in english. (laughs)