Check Out the Big Brain on Brad

Since their splashy 2018 debut hosted by Kanye West and Asa Akira, with Lil Pump performing under Spike Jonze’s oversight, the Pornhub Awards have charted a careful course toward blending mainstream appeal with adult-industry visibility. Unlike traditional awards shows, these awards are entirely data-driven, with nominees and winners determined through algorithms tracking video views, search queries, and other metrics. Past editions flirted with the mainstream—John Waters once handed out a trophy. Last year it was Julia Fox. This time, Jordan Firstman hosted, hyper-social energy making scripted segments feel superfluous. This recalibration likely traces back to PR giant Kelly Cutrone, who smuggles provocation into mainstream polish, quietly refining the awards into something sharper, sleeker—edgy enough for mainstream consumption.

Left: Dana DeArmond, Mike Crumplar, and Andrew Green shot by Nick Dove.  Right: Britney Amber captured by Nick Dove

Later that night, I lifted him bridal-style as he jokingly sucked his thumb—a gesture unhinged in any other context, yet perfectly natural here.

Our plans for rapid-fire interviews off the red carpet dissolved into a fascinating, unexpectedly swift half-hour with Dana DeArmond—industry Hall-of-Famer since the Myspace era and dressed like a cottage-core Wojak—who delightedly discussed the joys of living alone, decentering men (except sigma males), domestic ergonomics, and the necessity of MILF content, noting it remains Pornhub’s most-viewed genre. Britney Amber, angling for this year’s MILF title, grinned: she’d jump into a scene with reigning champ Dana DeArmond right here, no call sheet required. After our conversation, Dana joked that we should start SigmaSingles.com.

Nearby, Riley Reid stood at the step-and-repeat, where her friends teased about retirement since becoming a mother. Reid corrected them gently, affirming her continued industry presence. A camera flash briefly recalibrated her stance, channeling Marilyn Monroe smiling coyly—as if caught over a subway vent—though in Reid’s case, it was lingerie and swinging tassels, not a skirt, that caught the air.

Left: Avalon Lurks shot by Mark Hunter. Right: Pornhub Awards attendee shot by Nick Dove.

Inside, the mechanical bull—famous enough to collect royalties—thrashed under disco lights like a porn parody of a music video. Avalon Lurks DJ’d a set played Gen Z electroclash, while others spun Y2K chart toppers and Auto-Tuned country, stitched together with drunkenly in time square-dance drops. The vibe hovered between seizure and slow burn. Influencers drifted in loops, filming each other filming each other, caught in the algorithmic trance of pretending not to try.

Fashion toggled between surreal and calculatedly novel: thigh-high vinyl boots over distressed denim, assless chaps, bolo ties paired with latex harnesses, and earnest clusters of cow-cosplaying influencers wrangled into steady streams of digital content—like livestock on the content farm. Jenna Fox’s deep brown faux-leather lace-up vest was engaged in a valiant, losing battle against her freshly upgraded chest—surgical gauze still peeking out like a price tag on her body's progress.

Nearby, a giant banana—actually a man in costume—solemnly insisted he performed exclusively private porn.

Left: Jenna Fox Shot by Mark Hunter. Right: Pornhub Awards attendee shot by Mark Hunter

Trophy politics surfaced early. Girthmasterr, co-winner of 2025’s “Best Dick”, posed by the saloon‑style “WANTED” wall, gripping a matte‑black trophy resembling molecular diagrams merged with luxury coat hooks, before sharing, “Best (eggplant emoji) on the internet, as voted by y’all!” His caption carried the easy populism of a Reddit democracy. Austin  Spears—four‑time award‑winning transmasc performer—appeared nearby dressed as a rodeo clown, a self-aware commentary on the night’s Wild-West theme.

Categories joyfully courted irony: "Nicest Tits" went to Angela White (also crowned "Most Popular Female Performer"); "Top C*mshot Performer" to Gattouz0, an accolade measured in sheer volume. Another jokingly proposed future category, "Most Rewatched Incognito-Mode Video," drew knowing laughter—acknowledging the hidden viewing rituals of the audience.

The conversations, while dressed up as casual, moved with a practiced, almost clinical cadence—like rehearsed scenes from a group improv class themed around desire. Questions floated between people like vape pens: “Are you better in group settings?” “Would you ever film, or just flirt with the idea?” I was asked if I’d considered joining the industry, though it felt less like a come-on and more like a survey. Everything was offered softly, like a second round of drinks someone else was ordering. The vibe was part confessional, part casting call, everyone hitting their marks just in case anyone important was listening. When the spotlight turned toward me, I deflected with a joke about needing two-factor authentication just to access my turn-ons. It landed. Dry. Defensive. 

Left: Kazumi shot by Mark Hunter. Right: Pornhub Awards attendee shot by Mark Hunter.

They filtered in like supporting characters from a different genre—recognizable, not essential. Diplo hovered near the booth. Kim Petras posed, vanished. Brooke Candy looked mid-set, stage or not. Maren Altman talked astrology to someone holding a ring light. Cobrasnake wore a Pornhub Japan tee, scanning faces like a casting agent. Alex Kazemi watched blankly, like he’d already drafted this scene for his upcoming film adaptation of his novel. Scenreporter Mike Crumplar (aka Crumps) floated between groups, beer in hand, laughing with mutuals. No one here needed to be the main character. That was the point. Everyone—whether pornstar or scene-adjacent—acted like the credits had already rolled. At Pornhub’s Big Night, no one pretended to be cool. That would’ve been embarrassing.

And yet, there were real stars. Kazumi wore a leopard-print, fur-textured bikini top edged with Victorian lace, slipping just enough to seem unintentional, paired with high-shine black shorts and a crucifix-heavy choker that looked like it weighed more than her. Taylor Lorenz whispered she was the original influencer–porn hybrid, a sentence that felt both complimentary and vaguely archival. Off-camera, she’s Céline Tran—novelist, martial artist, occasional academic. But none of that mattered in the moment. What did was how easily she diffused attention, turned it ambient. She didn’t perform magnetism. She just had it. Jordan Firstman’s theory that pornstars are the nicest celebrities didn’t need defending—it was already obvious. She thanked everyone. She made jokes. She seemed, somehow, like the only one not angling to be seen.

Left: Johnny Love and ShroomsQ captured by Nick Dove. Right: Pornhub Awards attendees shot by Nick Dove.

Johnny Love and ShroomsQ cheerfully described the intricacies of dating each other within the industry, joking about their commitment to filming exclusively together and openly sharing their relationship. Each conversation with them revealed deeper complexities, illuminating my own naïveté about intimacy within their profession. Asa Akira, inaugural host turned unofficial mayor of Pornhub, politely sidestepped my final interview request right before last call as the evening slowed.

Dana DeArmond didn’t win any awards this year, but she became our favorite MILF of the night, enthusiastically joining us up for the after-party caravan. Outside, the parking lot exhaled vape clouds into the night sky, and Ubers flashed hazard lights, beckoning western-themed lingerie-clad attendees into the night—a surreal yet predictable finale. The awards portion had concluded quickly, confirming the event’s deeper mission: ensuring every influencer left armed with enough content to keep their feeds fat and docile through the end of the month.