Azealia Banks is Back!
The single comes ahead of the release of Fantasea II, the long-awaited sequel to Banks' 2012 debut mixtape Fantasea.
Listen to "Fuck Him All Night" here
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The single comes ahead of the release of Fantasea II, the long-awaited sequel to Banks' 2012 debut mixtape Fantasea.
Listen to "Fuck Him All Night" here
I know that your stage name stemmed from your Instagram handle, but why Siiickbrain? What does that mean to you?
I had a past of dealing with a lot of things with my mental health. At the time, I thought, 'Oh, it's a funny play on words,' because I'm sick in the head, or whatever. But it also played into the way I showed myself on the internet at the time, I wanted to embody this 'cool' persona.
I also think there's something about humor in processing things like that. Do you feel that you as Caroline and Siiickbrain are one and the same? How do you feel that you've transformed since your days before you started pursuing music, as a person but also as an artist?
It's been a huge transition. I have the opportunity to really be who I am in the city. I think Siiickbrain as an artist and Caroline as a person, they used to be so different and far in between. But now I feel like there are so many crossovers between them. Dropping this project that is so vulnerable as Siiickbrain definitely feels like there's a big crossover between my personal self, Caroline, and the artist. Of course, there's always a crossover between those personas in my music. But I always have thought of myself as more of a soft and vulnerable person. So in the past, when I've done some of my harder music with screaming and stuff, it's like I'm letting the character be that hardcore, confident type of person, rather than Caroline.
You worked as a makeup artist and you also have experience modeling. Have you always felt like creative expression, no matter what form it is, comes really naturally for you?
Absolutely. I don't feel like I'm happy or fulfilled unless I'm creatively expressing myself in some way, at all times. Even with modeling, of course, that's a creative way to express myself, but during that time period, I was writing a lot of poetry.
Did any of that poetry end up becoming songs that we've heard?
Of course. That was originally my way of getting into writing music.
And as far as writing and the whole process that you took with this EP, it's a new sonic approach — a fully acoustic project. It's kind of like a different side of your sound. Why did you decide to tap into that?
I honestly always wanted to, but my last project was really production-heavy. Even vocally, there was a lot of vocal production and screaming. It kind of took away from what I was saying, even though everything that I said was very thought out and purposeful. This time around, I took my time with the lyricism and I wrote it in a different way than I typically would. I wrote everything in my room. I just could really tap into the vulnerability and I just wanted to strip it down and show people who I really am. And I hope that other people can relate to those feelings as well.
How does that depart from how you've written tracks and worked on projects in the past?
So in the past, basically, I would just go to the studio and tell my producer how I'm feeling. We'd create a beat and write to it, as opposed to just me writing to a guitar. So it was definitely a more intimate process.
Some of your previous tracks and projects address certain things from your past, certain traumas and experiences you unpack. But this is a more gentle sound. Do you think that, thematically, the lyrics and even the production reflect that softness as well?
Absolutely. I was going through a lot of life changes during this time as I wrote this project. I think it's a little bit more of a grown-up sound and it's more digestible for a larger audience.
Has that softness and gentleness found its way into your lifestyle as well?
Absolutely. I think that it's important to be really thoughtful with everything that you're doing instead of getting caught up in the whirlwind of things. Life is so precious and I've always said that and felt that way, but I think that it's easy to fall back into the chaos of everything in life, especially as a musician. Taking a moment and writing this music from a quiet and thoughtful place is new for me.
It's almost harder to slow down and be intentional about life. It takes more thought. What do you think is the most unexpected song on this project and why?
I think that, honestly, the whole project is a little bit surprising just in terms of the delivery and the lyricism. I think the song 'When You're Not Mine’ is definitely very vulnerable as opposed to the badass, confident type of girl that I felt I was during my other projects.
It's cool that you found a balance with that as well. You can still be that badass person, but the softness and the gentleness can live with that as well.
It's important as an artist and as a person to be able to be who I want to be. It's just so human to have very different emotions and I think that it's important to express all of those emotions in my own ways.
And I'm sure that's very relatable for other people who feel like they have these conflicting things inside of them as well. I've seen your sound described in so many different ways, even in ways that may juxtapose each other. I've seen hyperpop fused with alt-rock, to a mixture of alt-pop and metal. I think that your sound kind of exists in this realm that doesn't have a label. It's its own thing. Do you feel empowered by existing in that liminal space and being able to tap into all different sounds and influences?
Giving myself the freedom to do all of this stuff is really important. I don't like feeling tied to a genre, but I do feel very inspired by other artists like Yung Lean or XXXTentacion, I just admire people who still let their personality shine through, even as the artist. It can all coexist together.
You've also gotten to work with some artists that you have looked up to and some people that you grew up listening to. Do you have any other artists that you look up to that would be like a dream collab at this moment?
I would love to work with the Deftones. And Death Grips as well. Or even a softer artist would be really cool, like Phoebe Bridgers. I'm very open to working with a lot of different people. But I've never really worked with anyone that I don't have a personal relationship with. I feel like making music is so vulnerable and I know that there's a lot of people out there. Not to say that this is wrong in any way, but there are a lot of people out there who are like, 'Oh, I want to work with this person, or I want to work with that person.' But music is such a vulnerable thing and so personal that, for me, it's hard to get in the studio with someone that you don't already know personally on that level.
Do you have a favorite track from this project and what's the story around it?
My favorite track from this project honestly changes pretty often. I have two songs, ‘Headspace’ and ‘Dizzy Spells,’ that are about learning to live life after losing someone really close to you. My best friend and someone that I have a past with romantically passed away in 2020 and that's ultimately what pushed me to start creating music and releasing it. Life is so short and his passing was so random and unexpected. That pushed me and these two songs are about that person. And, specifically, ‘Dizzy Spells,’ which is the song that I named the project after. That song is about learning to love someone again after losing someone that you loved.
Had that been a therapeutic process for you?
Music really saved me. I feel like I could have gone down a very different path if I didn't have music to slow me down. Writing is so cathartic and definitely makes me think through all of my emotions and rationalize everything. It helps me to understand myself better.
Your style is also very individualistic. I think it's just as abstract and esoteric as your sound. What's your approach to getting dressed? Who or what do you channel?
I honestly love just doing things that I haven't seen before. I like to remain very individual when it comes to my style, but I definitely feel as though I like to channel the darker, sexy side of who I am as a person. A lot of the time, I do wear things that wouldn't be necessarily deemed as sexy though [Laughs]. I don't know, I just have fun with it and I try not to limit myself. I like to be experimental and my stylist and I are extremely collaborative. I want to be a trendsetter in that way.
Going back to what we talked about earlier, when you think about the persona of Caroline and then the persona of Siiickbrain, do you feel like when you get dressed, those two personas converge stylistically?
I think that they definitely come together when it comes to style. I don't feel that there's a huge difference except that Caroline probably just wears sweats all the time.
I was going through previous interviews that you had done and there was a quote that stuck with me and I wanted to pull that into our conversation. You've said that you don't believe that good art requires pain. I agree. I think it's hard to understand as an artist who's maybe just first approaching their craft because it’s a common trope that we're taught. But you said that something you think that good art does require is truth. What is your truth right now, in this moment?
What characterizes me and my perspective currently is probably just stripping things down — even in life. I'm in this space where I just want to be very protective of myself.
Does it feel like a new chapter for you?
Yeah, I definitely feel like I'm growing up. I've been going through phases where I feel like I'm growing up, but I think that this phase is one that really shows through my music. I'm truly being more mindful and making decisions that could be scary, big changes. But ultimately it's what's best for me.
ANDREW wears COWBOY HAT by STETSON, JACKET by CRISIS EVOLVED, TOP by ENTIRE STUDIOS, PANTS by RAGA MALIK, BOOTS by RICK OWENS
Born and raised in Zahle, Lebanon, Makadsi immigrated to the United States with his family when he was 19 years old and has lived in New York for well over a decade. Though he’s fiercely loyal to the city, he says he has been enjoying the slower pace of Los Angeles, using the extra time to work on producing his own music.
“I’m going to play some original tracks tonight that I produced that I’m really excited about,” he says, a slight smile peeking through his beard. But Makadsi has no plans to release anything at the moment: “If you want to hear it, you’ll have to come to my set.” When we arrive at Paragon, there is already a line of people spilling down the sidewalk. A cursory scan of the crowd reveals the typical Myrtle-Broadway ilk of the 2020s: racially diverse and visibly queer 20-somethings, more than a few steadily puffing away with cigarette in hand, all of them suited up in their Saturday night finest and ready to dance.
Makadsi has an hour to kill before his set, so we head to the “greenroom,” a repurposed room in the back of the venue that, evidently, was once a commercial kitchen. I lean against a deep fryer as Makadsi tells me about his early life in Lebanon. He and his family left the country due to the escalating violence of military conflict, but the memories of his adolescence that Makadsi shares are far from macabre.
ANDREW wears TOP by BARRAGAN, SHORTS by PRO CLUB, PANTS by PAURA, BOOTS, BAG by LOUIS VUITTON, JACKET and BOOTS are STYLIST’S OWN
“Growing up in Lebanon, we were such party animals,” he reminisces. “We love life. We’ve been through a lot, socially, politically, economically, and we've been through wars. We have that stamina and mentality, that nothing is gonna come between me and my good time. It showed me how raving and activism can go hand in hand.”
He expresses his belief in the power and importance of revelry as a salve for anguish, a salve that is needed in this present moment more than ever. “I think our healing is going to take years,” he says somberly, citing the COVID-19 pandemic, the rising cost of living, recent political upheavals, and our overexposure to news and information among the factors contributing to cultural malaise and a collective feeling of despair. “It’s like we’re in a blender trying to figure out what the fuck is going on. People really need a space where they feel safe and away from the chaos of the world.”
But for Makadsi, the dance floor is not apolitical, and safety is not necessarily synonymous with complete escapism. Early in his set, he plays a mix of “Dammi Falastini” (دمي فلسطيني), a song by Mohammad Assaf that has become a protest anthem of the Palestinian resistance. The lyrics triumphantly repeat “my blood is Palestinian, Palestinian, Palestinian” in Arabic, asserting Assaf’s love for his people and his willingness to sacrifice for his homeland. In May of 2023, the song was temporarily removed from streaming services in what many pro-Palestinian activists condemned as yet another instance of censorship against Palestinian voices.
Makadsi has been vocal on social media about his support for a free Palestine for years. A quick scroll through his current Twitter feed shows a long stream of reposted news and content documenting and condemning the latest rounds of atrocities committed in Gaza since October of 2023 — a “textbook case of genocide,” as described by former top United Nations official Craig Mokhiber and numerous other human rights experts and authorities.
ANDREW wears TANK by RAGA MALIK, SHORTS by RAGA MALIK, BOOTS by RICK OWENS, KEFFIYEH and BANDANA are STYLIST’S OWN
The keffiyeh, a black and white patterned head scarf like the ones shown photographed on Makadsi for this story, is widely known as an emblem of Palestinian resistance and is often worn in the West as an expression of solidarity with the Palestinian people. But before it became a Palestinian political symbol in the 1930s, the keffiyeh was worn by nomadic communities known as the Bedouins, who migrated pastorally and herded camels, goats, and cattle throughout the Levant region and the Arabian peninsula. Inspired by his memories of seeing his father and other Lebanese men wear keffiyehs and cowboy hats to go hunting, Makadsi collaborated with stylist Eddie Lopez Bautista to reconstruct the image of the Bedouin cowboy. The keffiyeh is still familiar and commonplace in Lebanon, and the history of the symbolic garment is intertwined with Makadsi’s heritage.
Including “Dammi Falastini” in his set is Makadsi’s way of channeling the collective energy of the room into a unified will. “Music is such a unique language,” he explains. “Even if you hear a song and you don't understand the lyrics, you can still feel the essence and the spirit of it. I cannot help but react to the world in my art. It’s human instinct. I believe art in general can make an impact on people, but music is so easy because people consume it pretty much daily. You can paint the world you want to see and live in. To be able to deliver these messages and still have people dance — it’s ceremonial. As a group, our vibration is heightened, and we can make even more noise and deliver that energy to a further space.”
For Makadsi, the energy of the people on the dance floor exists in a symbiotic relationship as he plays a set. “I'm very privileged to be interactive with the New York dance floor,” he says. “Its energy is very specific and receiving. I love this scene, what it represents and stands for, and how people show up for each other.” That’s why, despite his breakneck schedule, Makadsi still finds time to go out dancing — “a lot, to be honest” — even on nights when he isn’t playing a set himself. Hearing the wide array of influences and sonic evolutions in the sets of his peers inspires him and keeps his ears sharp. “And it keeps me in touch with my community,” Makadsi says. “Unfortunately in New York and a lot of big American cities, it’s getting more and more expensive and difficult to live. But a lot of the youth still find a way to make it happen and bloom in the city. It’s very inspiring to see how resilient people are. And it's a privilege that sometimes I forget how hard it is, because luckily my parents lived 45 minutes away. I didn’t just drop like a parachute and land in New York.”
Read the rest of this story in Issue 21.
ANDREW wears TOP by FFF, SHORTS by PRO CLUB, SOCKS by RAGA MALIK, CUSTOM SHOES by ASLAN, COWBOY HAT is VINTAGE