What Power Divine: Shygirl

October 01, 2022

When Shygirl first burst onto the scene in 2016, people didn’t know exactly what to expect. Her first single, the Sega Bodega-produced “Want More,” was a gritty club banger — like if Nine Inch Nails made out with Peaches in the basement of a sweaty London Club. “You wanna go slow? I ain’t into it,” she says in her breathy South London accent, brash electronic drums punctuating every word. “You want to talk shit? I ain’t into it.”

Interview by ALEXANDRA WEISS
Talent SHYGIRL
Photography by TYLER KOLHOFF
Styling by JULIO CESAR DELGADO
Makeup by AI YOKOMIZO — Bridge
Hair by CHARLIE LE MINDU
Manicure by JUAN ALVEAR using BIO SEAWEED GEL — Opus
Production by SARAH SCHECKER
Photography Assisting by MORGAN CHARLTON, JASON COHN, KAIA CARIOLI
Styling Assisting by CLARE CONNELL, COLIN NGUYEN

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But people were into it. They wanted more. By the time she released her ALIAS EP in 2020, she had perfected what the world had come to expect from Shygirl: loud, aggressive experimental pop about being a freak. The tracks that followed, like “TASTY,” were raucous club anthems about satisfaction and BDE. As a result, the music press dubbed her “pop’s new sex-positive princess,” equal parts talented and filthy.

Back in the studio, however, Shygirl was experimenting. The consensus after ALIAS was that she was a “strong, powerful woman,” as she describes it. And it’s not that it wasn’t true; she just didn’t want to be tied to any one genre, or persona. “People are just constantly pigeonholing you into the things that are palatable for them,” she explains. “But I don't want to be palatable. I’m just being myself.” And the real Shygirl, she tells me, is multidimensional. So, when she set out to write her debut album, she wanted to show her softer side.

Nymph is, in that way, a kind of departure for the artist. With singles like “Firefly” and “Coochie,” gone are the attacking beats of songs like “Want More.” Her fast-talking hooks have been replaced by saccharine melodies. But the old Shygirl is still there, too – unapologetic and powerful. The record is actually a testament to different types of strength, how softness and vulnerability are also modes of power. “There's something about nymphs — something fragile, yet strong about them,” she says about the title. “It's this idea of a waif-like creature that is constantly alluring, and draws you into whatever spell they have. I feel powerful in that way — that I can be vulnerable and sensitive, but I'm still drawing you in, I'm still calling your attention, and I'm still saying what I have to say is worthwhile.”

It's almost been like therapy for me to go through and question what I need from myself and who I am right now.

Let's talk about your debut album. How are you feeling now that Nymph is finally coming out?

I'm ready just to get a bigger project out. After ALIAS, a lot of people had opinions about my work, and it just naturally helped me build a fanbase that is supportive of me and invested in the music that I'm making. But I'm still actively discovering what I can do and what I want. And I think this album was a continuation of that exploration. I wanted to be a bit more vulnerable, and also to set a certain comfortability in what I have to offer. That's why there's a bit more subtlety to the music, and to the messaging and the songs, just because I'm happy with what I'm doing. And I don't really feel the need to be super brash, or to be the loudest person in the room, because I just feel like the music speaks for itself, in a sense, and I'm really proud of what I've been able to make with the people I've been collaborating with. I just want the music to last, you know? I want to make stuff that lasts the test of time, and doesn't just feel momentary, but can speak for the moment that we're living in, but also, beyond this time period. I want to be able to look back and still be happy with it… and I feel like I'm on the path of doing that with this record.

I feel like, with such a good response to ALIAS, you could have turned around and put out an album right away. But you took your time with it, and, as you're saying, sort of figured out who you were sonically and what you wanted to say along the way. So, what was your process like?

It's a call and response between me and the audience. So, I think how people were treating me, and how my life changed through the course of accepting being a musician as a career path, that definitely did affect what I was doing back in the studio, because I was continuing conversations with my audience, and also with myself. There was so much strength in a lot of the tracks I was making with ALIAS, and there was this growing idea of me as this like, strong, powerful woman. But also, I felt like a big part of that story is the times where I've been the most vulnerable and sensitive, and maybe I'd left that out a little bit in the music. So, I really wanted to make space for that in the album, and give a bit more humanity to who I am as an artist. You know, the character of Shygirl is not two-dimensional — there’s depth there.

When you went into the studio, did you have an idea of how you wanted to show that?

I just knew I wanted something slightly different for myself. I really enjoyed the music on ALIAS, but I wanted more room. And there were times when I wasn't so happy, or even sad on stage, but I didn't feel like I had the songs to express it… so, I was like, “I need the song to do that. That really made me be like, I'm gonna get that for myself, and I'm gonna make sure I have the tools to be myself onstage, and to be authentic constantly, and not feel like I'm putting it on.” I think that's why the tone of the album probably isn't what people would have expected after ALIAS, but I wanted to expand the limit of what I'm capable of. I don't want to just give people what they expect.

It's about feeding the soul, rather than just living a nihilistic existence. It's about having a desire and satiating it.

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You said a lot of your earlier music was about being this powerful and bold woman, and you wanted to be able to communicate your more vulnerable side. How do you do that in music, without falling into the trap of like, “Okay, a powerful song is loud and fast and angry, and a vulnerable song is soft?”

I think naturally, I'm always kind of showing the two sides. When I'm doing something slightly sad, I still need the boldness of the beat to carry me—that's just my natural inclination. And also, I know that I might be moody writing this song, but then actually, by the time I get to perform it, I'm going to be in a different mood. So, I need to make sure that I have space within the song to be both of those types of people.

Are you a Gemini?

No, I'm a Taurus. I just hate being pinned down, and I always want the space to decide what I want to do. That's why I don't sit there and make the whole thing by myself. I collaborate. So, naturally, there is interference in what's going on in my head, because it's down to how it's interpreted by the producer, or how they make me feel in the room... There's definitely a strong sense of me and the Shygirl vibe, and it doesn't matter who I work with, that's always gonna come through. But I had a real sense of direction [with this record], and who I chose to collaborate with on each song, and how I wanted to best realize that. And it's something I take great pride in, working with all these really strong personalities that are some of the best. Like, I've worked with Arca, SOPHIE, and on this record, there's Noah Goldstein, Danny L Harle. I'm really proud of my ability to work collaboratively, but still be able to enact something really personal… It's almost been like therapy for me to go through and question what I need from myself and who I am right now.

When it comes to Shygirl, how much of what we see is a character or persona?

I mean, when you’re on stage, you just don't act the same as you would in your house. I definitely feel like it's still me, it just amplifies what's going on. I actually had this thought the other day about how I don't really party so much anymore. Like, I'm not gonna go out clubbing because I have the space where I was getting all of that energy out now on stage. I have this space to be an extrovert, and be super expressive, super hedonistic, so now, I don't really desire it so much in the club. So, it has changed the landscape of what I do in my real life. It's so weird to even say, like, my “real life,” because it is my real life. But it's like method acting — it just tends to become a part of you, and you just try to make it as authentic as possible. And I definitely try not to get too desensitized. I really want to be personal. That's what I wanted to do with this album, knowing that it takes up so much of my life now, I wanted to recognize the person I am on and off stage.

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I just need to satisfy myself to satisfy other people, because they’re satisfied by the music.

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When you first started putting out music, there was a real sense that it was a kind of guide for women to be unapologetic about their sexuality. I read so many headlines like, “Shygirl is empowering women to be sexually liberated.” Was that intentional? Or were you just writing about your own experiences?

When I started writing that early stuff, I used sex in life to figure out how I felt — to find out what I liked, what I was comfortable with. And that's kind of what I was talking about in the music. You're trying to be emotive, and you're trying to reach out and share yourself and be vulnerable, and you're having all these different sexual exploits... that's what I was trying to do in my life, and that's what I was trying to talk about. But society's view on sex is so sensational. People will only pinpoint the sex, and they'll never get into the emotion. And I kind of wanted to highlight that, even how predictable that response is, and to make people question why they feel so comfortable in the sensational, rather than getting to the root of it. And I'm not necessarily speaking for women, either. I am a woman, but I'm just speaking in general, for anyone that will listen, to tell them, “Take ownership of your life, and don't feel ashamed of the things that you do.” But I really do wish we could get past the taboo of sex. I want to be able to talk about the fact that I've slept with a bunch of people and I feel a certain way about it, without people being like, “Oh, now she's unhappy or happy that she's slept with a bunch of people.” That's not my point.

Right. And for so long, women were afraid to talk about sex. Now, when they do, it immediately becomes about empowerment. But obviously no one says that when a male musician writes about getting a blowjob.

Exactly! I'm like, “I'm just talking about myself and my life.” And there's things that people do identify with, but ultimately, this is an issue I've had all my life. Because as a woman, people think I speak for all women; as a Black person, I speak for all Black people. But that's not true. I speak for myself, and you might like it, you might not.

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I know you said you're not going to clubs so much any more, but a lot of your earlier music was inspired by club culture. What was so inspiring to you about that scene? What did you get out of it?

I just love club music, even before I ever went to a club. I’ve loved that style of music forever. It just speaks to me. I love trance, I love hardcore, I love drum and bass, I love really experimental electronic music. Then I found the club in my early twenties, and it was really more about the queer scene, and that genre-blending type of underground scene where you are exposed to loads of different types of music, and people, and fashion. It's more about getting into a certain type of mindset. It didn't matter who would be playing, you go to the club with all of your friends, and you make more friends in the club. I just liked the community of chatting around music, and being in a hot, sweaty space, and the idea of making space to satisfy yourself, and to be hedonistic, and to make out with people on the dance floor, to indulge in every vice available... It's about feeding the soul, rather than just living a nihilistic existence. It's about having a desire and satiating it. And club music has always had that, but you don't need to be in the club to do that. That's why I like making music that speaks to that ethos.

Why do you think it's so important to acknowledge desire? There's this quote from Erica Jong where she says something like, “If we could truly understand desire, we'd come to understand how it secretly rules the world.” Basically, that unfulfilled desire is such an important part of why people are the way they are, why they do what they do. And from your perspective, and with the music that you make, desire is such an important part of it — and ultimately, not just investigating, but satiating it.

I strive for self-awareness, and to be able to identify what I need and what I want… I don’t necessarily think it’s the most important thing, I just know that’s what I need and how I operate. I’m not a perfect individual, and I never try to present myself as such. I’m a human being, I’m growing, I’m just trying to exist and navigate this world and be somewhat happy. I don’t strive for complete happiness, but I enjoy feeling anything — that’s the beauty of being human. To be sad, to be depressed, or to be angry, and jealous — it’s all part of the human experience. That’s why I write about those things, and try to make space for other people to do the same… I can only speak my truth at the end of the day, but it has been really validating to know other people do relate. It’s pretty cool to be like, “I just need to satisfy myself to satisfy other people, because they’re satisfied by the music.”

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Let’s talk about the album title, Nymph. Obviously, a nymph is a mythological creature. But when I think of a nymph, I think of this fragile, kind of waif-

That’s how I mean it. There’s never been an image of someone like me as a nymph. But I related to the ethos of it. I feel like I’m a mystical thing, because there are so many parts of the human experience that are beyond the explainable, and I’ve always related to these legendary tales and interpretations of women. Because that’s what a nymph is — setting up this idea of a woman into a legend. And I wanted to see myself there more because I felt it. And I feel like it's important as a writer, and as someone who's storytelling, to be able to amplify the things that you connect with, and to tell more of your story, to build on it… That's kind of what I'm offering at this point.I'm offering up my work to be taken into legends.

It's an interesting interpretation of a nymph, because historically, or even just culturally, when you think of a nymph, you don't think of power. So, the idea that you're presenting — it's a reframing of the female archetype.

Yeah, that's what I want. And I feel like, immediately, it's kind of done that… I was especially excited about “Firefly,” because it was one of the most recent songs that I put onto the album — I made it in December — and all the melodies are freestyle. It was just something that came intuitively, and it was a really nice way to start this album process, because it does feel nymph-like. It's light, it never really lands, because it's all quite up in the air, but it's also affirmational, because I'm saying the same things to the audience that I'm saying to myself, to kind of affirm that I'm happy. I've gone through some stuff, but I'm comfortable, and even if it happens again, I'm still going to be good. I think that's a really nice way to introduce the album, because it really is a journey. There will be some darker stuff, and also some really playful things coming through. That's what you can always expect from me: the light and the dark.

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I swear, you really should be a Gemini! I'm not even into astrology, but you've been describing this duality of light and dark, of strength and softness — even relating to Nymph and what the album encompasses: this contrast of you as a loud, strong woman, and the image of a nymph. It's really your way of showing that power and vulnerability can exist simultaneously.

Yeah, that's it exactly. But there's also something about a nymph that is wild and untameable. And they're connected to nature. And I really do feel connected to what's natural, because I'm saying that how I am is natural, it's not learned. It’s intuitive. And it's not that I think I need to justify my existence, I'm just trying to explore it.

I’m not a perfect individual, and I never try to present myself as such. I’m a human being, I’m growing, I’m just trying to exist and navigate this world and be somewhat happy.

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Music

office x Apple Music: SAUSHA

December 17, 2024

Our second mix with Apple music is brought to you by the one and only Sausha de la Ossa. Born in Colombia and raised in Miami before making her way to the Big Apple, Sausha has made an indelible mark on New York’s underground nightlife scene.

From taking office along her recovery from surgery for issue 14 to chatting with fellow DJ Memphy for issue 21, Sausha has a special place in our hearts — and so does her cheekily-titled set “Freak Hoe Seminar.”

Bringing you nearly two hours of Sausha’s signature gritty techno and sexy Latin club influences, “Freak Hoe Seminar” is guaranteed to teach you a thing or two about a thing or two. Stream the mix below, exclusively on Apple Music.

Image courtesy of Sausha de la Ossa
Graphic Design/Art Direction by W-E Studio, Claudine Eriksson and Piera Wolf
Graphic Design by W-E Studio, Hannah Nathans
Digital Production by Brook Aster Studios

Music

Real as Can Be with Cooper B. Handy

December 16, 2024

Since 2009, Cooper B. Handy has been releasing music as LUCY, a project that feels more like an experiment than a static identity. Along the way, he’s formed and collaborated on a multitude of other ventures, deviating wildly from any one genre: Club Casualties, The Taxidermists, and Safe Mind. The most incredible work flows out of him at an amazing rate, and not without a throughline: his ability to instill his spirit into melodies that stick with you, lingering in the quiet moments, like a tune you hum absentmindedly but can’t quite shake.

I caught up with the long-standing DIY enigma and Cape Cod native over the phone the day before his latest record’s release to talk Vol. 9, his many collaborations, discovering melodies in unexpected places, and naturally, digging holes.

Interview Sofia Castillo
Photography Guy Kozak

A lot of words come to mind when I think of his music—boundless, relentless, choppy, alluring, profound—all of them reminiscent of the ocean. It’s an apt comparison for Vol. 9, his latest record, which opens with Strange As Can Be. On it, he sings about a tale as old as time: conflicting desires. He begins with a reference to Adam and Eve, and follows it with the lines: “Try to be wholesome/We all have different ideas/We have different ideas/Of what it means to be wholesome.” That’s the magic of Lucy. He’s totally out there, and as real as can be. He paves his way charming together aphorisms, cautionary tales, and flashes of wry wisdom, all delivered with a disarming ease. They’re the kind of tracks that have me zoomed in on Bandcamp lyrics, or rapping over a Titanic sample he’s tweaked out. It’s liberating, you should try it. There’s a lot of laughter here, but not the ironic kind. It’s the kind born of genuine awe, of being hit over the head with something at once familiar and wholly unexpected. I recommend getting battered.

So, it's been almost a decade since Vol. 1 came out.

Yeah, pretty much.

Very exciting. Congrats on Vol. 9.

The first single you released is called 2nd Wind. Does that have anything to do with the decade mark?

Thank you. I don't know. I hadn't really thought about that. (Laughs) Yeah, I think that can be thought of like that for sure.

You're from Massachusetts, right?

Yeah, I grew up on Cape Cod, so I’m definitely around the ocean a lot.

Can you sail?

I actually could not sail. I went out sailing one time. I had some friends in high school who were instructors for a kid's sailing camp, so we had access to the boats and took one out. But aside from that, I wasn't really in a sailing family.

Do you like the ocean?

Yeah, yeah. Totally.

How do you think your Vol. albums delineate from the other projects you’ve released?

I think it's almost just a way of naming them without putting too much emphasis on one idea or something. I feel like most of the projects that I've put out solo are these volumes. I've made a bunch of other records with other people that are called different things and I've put out a few projects that are called other things, but most of my releases have been these nine volume albums. And I feel like it's mostly just an easy way for people to know what order they're in.

Do you like to go back and listen to them? You have a massive body of work out.

Yeah, I feel like I do. Every now and then there'll be certain projects I kind of forget about for a while. It's hard for me to listen back to music I made a really long time ago, like from when I was in high school. It sort of cringes me out. But with the Lucy project, I still like how it sounds. I don't feel cringed out listening to stuff from 10 years ago, which is good. I'm glad that I feel like that because I think that means I'm doing something right.

Can you pinpoint the cringe?

When I listen back to stuff that isn't even out, stuff from when I was, I dunno, 14, 15, 16… Obviously no one knows really what they're talking about at that point.(laughs) I definitely listened back to music I was making in high school and I'm like, ‘why was I talking about this stuff?’ Also, I think I was still trying to figure out what I wanted to sound like and it's hard to listen to that process.

Would you say you're a nostalgic person?

Yeah, for sure. But not in a way where I want to relive the past or something.

[Laughs] Right. Do you have any particular artists you’re listening to or are there any other mediums that inspire you at this moment?

I don't know. Not really. I sort of feel like there was a bunch of music I listened to when I was, I don't know, in between 10 and 16 that sort of still feels influential. I'm always influenced by new things, but I don't really listen to as much music as I should. I'm working on music all the time, so I'm listening to all these different things I'm making. I used to listen to music with headphones, but I’ve overdone it a little bit [laughs]. I need to listen to less music or something.

I recently lost my headphones and just let that be a catalyst for me listening to not nearly as much music as usual. I miss it, but it’s nice to actively listen to your surroundings sometimes. And if you're not really taking a ton of outside influences in, it’s easier to deeply connect to yourself as a source. The Lucy projects and a lot of your other collaborations feel very immediately recognizable to me as you.

Yeah, it's true. I feel like also things are- at least for me- things I hear when I'm out and about definitely play a big role in ideas of stuff I make and things I want to make. Even if I’m at the grocery store, a lot of times I get inspiration to either sample something that I hear in a store or by the self-checkout sounds and stuff. There's so many funny little melodic things around.

You love the store.

Yeah, there's definitely a lot to learn at the store.

Your sound is persistent, and self-assured. I love it just as much as when I first encountered the earlier volumes a few years ago. I’d like to know more about your approach to songwriting and if it’s morphed over time?

Thank you. Yeah, a lot of the time I'll have a melody or some ten second vocal melody. Sometimes it doesn’t have words, but most of the time it’s a phrase I’m singing to myself. I'll just make a voice memo and then go to the piano and see how I can make it work. Most of the stuff that's not sample based music that I make is pretty much all written on the piano. And then on this new record, there's definitely a handful of songs that have samples in them. Usually with those, I'll be making the beat before I have an idea for what the vocals will do. Making beats with samples has been a lot more fun for me in the past few years and it's good. But I sort of hope to move along from that after this record and have it be more of my own compositions, not just beats with clips of old songs or whatever.

So this is probably not the most evolved version of your sound so far?

Yeah, I wouldn't say that. I feel like I've been sitting on some of these songs. Some of the ones on this album are almost three years old, and then some that are four months old as well. So there's a bunch of new stuff and there's a bunch of stuff that feels really old to me. I think there's 17 songs on it, and usually I put six or seven songs on a project. It feels sort of mixed tape-ish to me. I'm just so used to it and I've been sitting on it for so long that it's hard for me to think of it as evolved or something. Friends who I showed it to seem to think it's more cohesive than I thought it was, so that's good.

I almost didn’t notice that there were 17 songs on it. I really like that it’s a 30 minute listen. And I agree with your friends, I wouldn't have guessed that you made them across different timelines. It’s a cohesive purge.

Yeah, totally. I feel like it'll be good to get it out and kind of move along.

You use a lot of aphorisms and story-book style language in your lyrics. It’s all very sincere. I really love it, and I think that might be why I've had such an affinity for it for so long too. At the end of the day, it's dealing with those things that never really go away, take as old as time.

Yeah, thank you. That is what I'm always going for. I feel like there's never going to be a shortage of content about those kinds of topics.

Were you in love when you wrote a lot of these songs?

[Laughs] Yeah.

Yeah.

Probably, probably all of 'em in different ways. I don't know. I feel like I try to infuse the music with that. When I think of the songs on there, I feel like you can hear that energy in the happier songs. Then there's a bunch of sad songs, or songs that sound sad- to me. And I don't think I'm showing an in-love side on those, but I don't know. That's kind of a tricky question.

I hear that. It’s not that you’re specifically singing about love, but the melodies on a lot of your tracks kind of lift my heart in that certain type of way. It’s all clearly involved, and there’s humor in it. It puts me in this perfect mood, that comes with good communication. Even the sadder songs.

Alright- Easier question. What are you working on right now?

I guess things are feeling a little bit more chill right now than they’ve been, just because I think I have three projects finished. I have this solo record coming out, and then I have a record with the Taxidermist band that's done and going to come out in March. And this Safe Mind project record that’s also going to come out. So right now everything's lined up and I'm just sort of waiting.

And we wait.

Yeah, I'm excited to start on a new batch of music and try to…I don’t know. I feel like I need to be learning more than I'm learning right now. I want to take the next bunch of months to try to maybe learn something.

What do you want to learn?

I'm not quite sure. I want to learn some new skills. I should be reading more.

For some reason I assumed you read a lot.

I really don't. Honestly, I really enjoy it when I’m into it, but getting to that point isn’t always easy for me.

Right, makes sense. You’re working on a ton of music projects.

I mean, I'm definitely trying to continue to focus on music as much as I do now. I'm just in a position where everything's about to be a clean slate, it’s been a while since I’ve not had files that I keep going back to.

Do you like being outside?

I like being outside, yeah. I walk a ton.

Do you have a favorite walk you do?

There's this range in Western Mass called the Holyoke Range. There’s a bunch of different mountains, and I sort of bounce between a lot of them. I go hiking almost every day, and a lot of the hikes out there only take an hour or two. I feel like that's as consistent as music for me for my life in Massachusetts. I spend a lot of time outside.

Do you have a typical “day in the life” right now?

It's always different. I feel like I'm really bouncing around. I'm in New York now and I'm going to go back to Massachusetts, and then I have another show in New York on the 10th.

Oh really?

With another project, Club Casualties. It’s me and my friend Nick Atkinson. He's completely off grid. Never was on social media or smartphone or anything. And he's a producer, but he's on the mega outskirts of the scenes. We're opening for that group Kassie Krut. Then a couple days later, I’m coming back to New York to do another show with the Safe Mind project.

Lots of movement. Have you ever made a time capsule?

Yeah. When I was a kid, I did one.

What did you put in it?

I put my school picture and some little Legos or something. I just put a bunch of toys that I liked. At the time, it was in a peanut butter jar. I think it had one of those wallet size school pictures, and I don't know what else was in it. I feel like I put some little notes, but I dug a really deep hole because I was obsessed with that book Holes.

Legendary book.

Yeah. My dad was like, you can dig a hole in the yard if you want to. I really wanted to, and I wanted to make it the same depth as the ones in the book, which were, I think they were six by six foot holes. So I was out there with my neighbor digging for weeks, and then it was deeper than my head, and then I buried the capsule in there.

I'm obsessed with that. That's so cool.

Yeah. It was before the movie came out, but the trailer was out, and I think I was like, this looks really cool. But the book was a big inspo.

What would you put in a time capsule now?

Probably some, probably like a flash drive. I don't know. It's hard to know. I feel like lots of stuff is going to be obsolete, so it's sort of hard to know what would be good to leave in there.

Yeah, that's true.

[Laughs] But maybe a more contemporary school picture.

Sweet.