What Power Divine: Shygirl
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But people were into it. They wanted more. By the time she released her ALIAS EP in 2020, she had perfected what the world had come to expect from Shygirl: loud, aggressive experimental pop about being a freak. The tracks that followed, like “TASTY,” were raucous club anthems about satisfaction and BDE. As a result, the music press dubbed her “pop’s new sex-positive princess,” equal parts talented and filthy.
Back in the studio, however, Shygirl was experimenting. The consensus after ALIAS was that she was a “strong, powerful woman,” as she describes it. And it’s not that it wasn’t true; she just didn’t want to be tied to any one genre, or persona. “People are just constantly pigeonholing you into the things that are palatable for them,” she explains. “But I don't want to be palatable. I’m just being myself.” And the real Shygirl, she tells me, is multidimensional. So, when she set out to write her debut album, she wanted to show her softer side.
Nymph is, in that way, a kind of departure for the artist. With singles like “Firefly” and “Coochie,” gone are the attacking beats of songs like “Want More.” Her fast-talking hooks have been replaced by saccharine melodies. But the old Shygirl is still there, too – unapologetic and powerful. The record is actually a testament to different types of strength, how softness and vulnerability are also modes of power. “There's something about nymphs — something fragile, yet strong about them,” she says about the title. “It's this idea of a waif-like creature that is constantly alluring, and draws you into whatever spell they have. I feel powerful in that way — that I can be vulnerable and sensitive, but I'm still drawing you in, I'm still calling your attention, and I'm still saying what I have to say is worthwhile.”
Let's talk about your debut album. How are you feeling now that Nymph is finally coming out?
I'm ready just to get a bigger project out. After ALIAS, a lot of people had opinions about my work, and it just naturally helped me build a fanbase that is supportive of me and invested in the music that I'm making. But I'm still actively discovering what I can do and what I want. And I think this album was a continuation of that exploration. I wanted to be a bit more vulnerable, and also to set a certain comfortability in what I have to offer. That's why there's a bit more subtlety to the music, and to the messaging and the songs, just because I'm happy with what I'm doing. And I don't really feel the need to be super brash, or to be the loudest person in the room, because I just feel like the music speaks for itself, in a sense, and I'm really proud of what I've been able to make with the people I've been collaborating with. I just want the music to last, you know? I want to make stuff that lasts the test of time, and doesn't just feel momentary, but can speak for the moment that we're living in, but also, beyond this time period. I want to be able to look back and still be happy with it… and I feel like I'm on the path of doing that with this record.
I feel like, with such a good response to ALIAS, you could have turned around and put out an album right away. But you took your time with it, and, as you're saying, sort of figured out who you were sonically and what you wanted to say along the way. So, what was your process like?
It's a call and response between me and the audience. So, I think how people were treating me, and how my life changed through the course of accepting being a musician as a career path, that definitely did affect what I was doing back in the studio, because I was continuing conversations with my audience, and also with myself. There was so much strength in a lot of the tracks I was making with ALIAS, and there was this growing idea of me as this like, strong, powerful woman. But also, I felt like a big part of that story is the times where I've been the most vulnerable and sensitive, and maybe I'd left that out a little bit in the music. So, I really wanted to make space for that in the album, and give a bit more humanity to who I am as an artist. You know, the character of Shygirl is not two-dimensional — there’s depth there.
When you went into the studio, did you have an idea of how you wanted to show that?
I just knew I wanted something slightly different for myself. I really enjoyed the music on ALIAS, but I wanted more room. And there were times when I wasn't so happy, or even sad on stage, but I didn't feel like I had the songs to express it… so, I was like, “I need the song to do that. That really made me be like, I'm gonna get that for myself, and I'm gonna make sure I have the tools to be myself onstage, and to be authentic constantly, and not feel like I'm putting it on.” I think that's why the tone of the album probably isn't what people would have expected after ALIAS, but I wanted to expand the limit of what I'm capable of. I don't want to just give people what they expect.
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You said a lot of your earlier music was about being this powerful and bold woman, and you wanted to be able to communicate your more vulnerable side. How do you do that in music, without falling into the trap of like, “Okay, a powerful song is loud and fast and angry, and a vulnerable song is soft?”
I think naturally, I'm always kind of showing the two sides. When I'm doing something slightly sad, I still need the boldness of the beat to carry me—that's just my natural inclination. And also, I know that I might be moody writing this song, but then actually, by the time I get to perform it, I'm going to be in a different mood. So, I need to make sure that I have space within the song to be both of those types of people.
Are you a Gemini?
No, I'm a Taurus. I just hate being pinned down, and I always want the space to decide what I want to do. That's why I don't sit there and make the whole thing by myself. I collaborate. So, naturally, there is interference in what's going on in my head, because it's down to how it's interpreted by the producer, or how they make me feel in the room... There's definitely a strong sense of me and the Shygirl vibe, and it doesn't matter who I work with, that's always gonna come through. But I had a real sense of direction [with this record], and who I chose to collaborate with on each song, and how I wanted to best realize that. And it's something I take great pride in, working with all these really strong personalities that are some of the best. Like, I've worked with Arca, SOPHIE, and on this record, there's Noah Goldstein, Danny L Harle. I'm really proud of my ability to work collaboratively, but still be able to enact something really personal… It's almost been like therapy for me to go through and question what I need from myself and who I am right now.
When it comes to Shygirl, how much of what we see is a character or persona?
I mean, when you’re on stage, you just don't act the same as you would in your house. I definitely feel like it's still me, it just amplifies what's going on. I actually had this thought the other day about how I don't really party so much anymore. Like, I'm not gonna go out clubbing because I have the space where I was getting all of that energy out now on stage. I have this space to be an extrovert, and be super expressive, super hedonistic, so now, I don't really desire it so much in the club. So, it has changed the landscape of what I do in my real life. It's so weird to even say, like, my “real life,” because it is my real life. But it's like method acting — it just tends to become a part of you, and you just try to make it as authentic as possible. And I definitely try not to get too desensitized. I really want to be personal. That's what I wanted to do with this album, knowing that it takes up so much of my life now, I wanted to recognize the person I am on and off stage.
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When you first started putting out music, there was a real sense that it was a kind of guide for women to be unapologetic about their sexuality. I read so many headlines like, “Shygirl is empowering women to be sexually liberated.” Was that intentional? Or were you just writing about your own experiences?
When I started writing that early stuff, I used sex in life to figure out how I felt — to find out what I liked, what I was comfortable with. And that's kind of what I was talking about in the music. You're trying to be emotive, and you're trying to reach out and share yourself and be vulnerable, and you're having all these different sexual exploits... that's what I was trying to do in my life, and that's what I was trying to talk about. But society's view on sex is so sensational. People will only pinpoint the sex, and they'll never get into the emotion. And I kind of wanted to highlight that, even how predictable that response is, and to make people question why they feel so comfortable in the sensational, rather than getting to the root of it. And I'm not necessarily speaking for women, either. I am a woman, but I'm just speaking in general, for anyone that will listen, to tell them, “Take ownership of your life, and don't feel ashamed of the things that you do.” But I really do wish we could get past the taboo of sex. I want to be able to talk about the fact that I've slept with a bunch of people and I feel a certain way about it, without people being like, “Oh, now she's unhappy or happy that she's slept with a bunch of people.” That's not my point.
Right. And for so long, women were afraid to talk about sex. Now, when they do, it immediately becomes about empowerment. But obviously no one says that when a male musician writes about getting a blowjob.
Exactly! I'm like, “I'm just talking about myself and my life.” And there's things that people do identify with, but ultimately, this is an issue I've had all my life. Because as a woman, people think I speak for all women; as a Black person, I speak for all Black people. But that's not true. I speak for myself, and you might like it, you might not.
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I know you said you're not going to clubs so much any more, but a lot of your earlier music was inspired by club culture. What was so inspiring to you about that scene? What did you get out of it?
I just love club music, even before I ever went to a club. I’ve loved that style of music forever. It just speaks to me. I love trance, I love hardcore, I love drum and bass, I love really experimental electronic music. Then I found the club in my early twenties, and it was really more about the queer scene, and that genre-blending type of underground scene where you are exposed to loads of different types of music, and people, and fashion. It's more about getting into a certain type of mindset. It didn't matter who would be playing, you go to the club with all of your friends, and you make more friends in the club. I just liked the community of chatting around music, and being in a hot, sweaty space, and the idea of making space to satisfy yourself, and to be hedonistic, and to make out with people on the dance floor, to indulge in every vice available... It's about feeding the soul, rather than just living a nihilistic existence. It's about having a desire and satiating it. And club music has always had that, but you don't need to be in the club to do that. That's why I like making music that speaks to that ethos.
Why do you think it's so important to acknowledge desire? There's this quote from Erica Jong where she says something like, “If we could truly understand desire, we'd come to understand how it secretly rules the world.” Basically, that unfulfilled desire is such an important part of why people are the way they are, why they do what they do. And from your perspective, and with the music that you make, desire is such an important part of it — and ultimately, not just investigating, but satiating it.
I strive for self-awareness, and to be able to identify what I need and what I want… I don’t necessarily think it’s the most important thing, I just know that’s what I need and how I operate. I’m not a perfect individual, and I never try to present myself as such. I’m a human being, I’m growing, I’m just trying to exist and navigate this world and be somewhat happy. I don’t strive for complete happiness, but I enjoy feeling anything — that’s the beauty of being human. To be sad, to be depressed, or to be angry, and jealous — it’s all part of the human experience. That’s why I write about those things, and try to make space for other people to do the same… I can only speak my truth at the end of the day, but it has been really validating to know other people do relate. It’s pretty cool to be like, “I just need to satisfy myself to satisfy other people, because they’re satisfied by the music.”
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Let’s talk about the album title, Nymph. Obviously, a nymph is a mythological creature. But when I think of a nymph, I think of this fragile, kind of waif-
That’s how I mean it. There’s never been an image of someone like me as a nymph. But I related to the ethos of it. I feel like I’m a mystical thing, because there are so many parts of the human experience that are beyond the explainable, and I’ve always related to these legendary tales and interpretations of women. Because that’s what a nymph is — setting up this idea of a woman into a legend. And I wanted to see myself there more because I felt it. And I feel like it's important as a writer, and as someone who's storytelling, to be able to amplify the things that you connect with, and to tell more of your story, to build on it… That's kind of what I'm offering at this point.I'm offering up my work to be taken into legends.
It's an interesting interpretation of a nymph, because historically, or even just culturally, when you think of a nymph, you don't think of power. So, the idea that you're presenting — it's a reframing of the female archetype.
Yeah, that's what I want. And I feel like, immediately, it's kind of done that… I was especially excited about “Firefly,” because it was one of the most recent songs that I put onto the album — I made it in December — and all the melodies are freestyle. It was just something that came intuitively, and it was a really nice way to start this album process, because it does feel nymph-like. It's light, it never really lands, because it's all quite up in the air, but it's also affirmational, because I'm saying the same things to the audience that I'm saying to myself, to kind of affirm that I'm happy. I've gone through some stuff, but I'm comfortable, and even if it happens again, I'm still going to be good. I think that's a really nice way to introduce the album, because it really is a journey. There will be some darker stuff, and also some really playful things coming through. That's what you can always expect from me: the light and the dark.
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I swear, you really should be a Gemini! I'm not even into astrology, but you've been describing this duality of light and dark, of strength and softness — even relating to Nymph and what the album encompasses: this contrast of you as a loud, strong woman, and the image of a nymph. It's really your way of showing that power and vulnerability can exist simultaneously.
Yeah, that's it exactly. But there's also something about a nymph that is wild and untameable. And they're connected to nature. And I really do feel connected to what's natural, because I'm saying that how I am is natural, it's not learned. It’s intuitive. And it's not that I think I need to justify my existence, I'm just trying to explore it.
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