office.mp3: Feeling Fem

How's London?

Martyna Maja— It's great. I actually just came back from New York only a week ago. I went for fashion week, so it was intense, but these are the first days that I have here, just to be by myself. I’m happy to be home. London’s great — especially when it’s not raining.

The weather’s switched here in New York — this is usually London weather.

I’ve been touring a lot, and my whole summer I’ve only seen the rain. So I’m really grateful for any bit of sunshine. I’ve lived here for like three years now and I get it, why British people are so excited about being outside any time there’s a bit of sunlight. I think you guys in New York are a bit spoiled with the sun.

I mean, it’s been raining for seven days straight, so I think you left at the right time.

Well, the last ray of sunshine left New York, and that was me [laughs].

You had a single with Alex of Boys Noize come out yesterday — congratulations.

Funny enough, we made it exactly a year ago to the day. Releasing it exactly a year later was an accident — the label didn’t know that, but it takes so long to get shit out. You know how you get those social media memories that are like, “On this day a year ago?” I saw all my memories and thought, “OK, that’s kind of symbolic.” I’m really happy about it.

It feels different from the rest of your discography — tell me about that.

I kind of slowed down with making — you know, stuff you could call “Berlin music,” [laughs] and started using my own vocals more. This was a bit like the next step, and we were really excited to make this track. Our friend Sonny has this studio in LA — he was away and let us use it. I’ve never been in a studio as a vocalist. I’ve collabed with people and engineers, but I’ve never been the vocalist. I’d always record my own vocals, so I was absolutely terrified. I’ve never worked under pressure like that, and Boys Noize is such an accomplished producer. I met him before, maybe twice in my life, and I was quite intimidated. But the first day we got together in the studio, we just chilled, talked about music, got some food delivered. He was super welcoming and friendly, and he made me feel so safe that, within half an hour, we already had a draft.

The track references the time in music when house and disco were on the charts, in the way that pop music is today. It was such a fun time when the music on the radio was house or disco. So we wanted to make it kind of like that, but a bit more modern, to give a wink to our techno careers. It’s a mixture of disco, house, some poppy stuff, and a bit of techno, but it’s a bit slower. It’s more everyday-listening friendly.

What was it like writing the song?

The day after I met Alex, I wrote lyrics in the Uber to the studio. It went so smooth, which is crazy, because when I make music by myself, it takes me quite a while, and I work on it so much that I get blocked, because I’ve listened to it too much that I’ve lost the beauty of it. I’d lose what I’d loved about the song in the first place. But when we were working together — I think because I wasn’t the only person working — it was such an exciting process. I wasn’t the only one who had to care about every detail. Splitting the job was incredible.

The process was really inspiring, and I felt like Alex was really listening to all my suggestions and was really cooperative. It wasn’t him coming in and doing his own thing and me doing my own thing. We both produced it together. Obviously, he was the main guy on deck, but I felt really safe and respected with him — which was really great, considering there’s a lot of ego in the industry.

What’s the story behind the lyrics?

I just started writing phrases and things I had on my mind. Sometimes, when you start talking to someone and they’re really hot and cold, you’re not sure what their intentions are, but they’re so hot that you pursue it anyway. That’s what the song’s about. Even though you don’t know what their deal is, you’re like, “I want to do this anyway. I’m not gonna chase you, but let’s get together.”

And the instrumental worked out really well with the overall vibe of the lyrics. Did you know the instrumental before you started writing?

Not at all. I just wrote in the cab, “I’m not gonna run, I’m not here to chase,” brought it to the studio, and we made the sound around it. I’m really happy it all connected together and that it wasn’t that serious [laughs]. I like how catchy it ended being, and how silly it became. Because, at the moment, I’m a bit tired of music that’s too serious. I’m having a little cheeky, goofy moment.

Everyone needs to lighten up a little bit.

These last few years especially have been so intense. For me, coming out of the pandemic has been even harder than the pandemic itself. It’s a really long process, getting back to the way things were. I’ve had to do a lot of self-work and readjust my life. So, I just want to have fun!

The whole thing sounds like when you meet someone in the club, and you’re like, “I don’t want to invest too much energy in this, but you’re hot, so I’m gonna follow you to the bathroom.”

Exactly. And we’re only human. You can be well aware that someone is bad for you, but sometimes they’re so hot that you pretend not to see it, or you just give it a shot anyway. I’m also a proud person; it’s like saying, “I’m not gonna chase you, but it would be fun if we managed to get together.”

You were in Vegas for the music video, yeah?

Yeah! I’m really good friends with Actual Objects, Rick and Claire. And after we made the track, Alex and I went for dinner with them. They made an old video of mine, “Notoriously Fast,” and when we finally got the green light from the label, I was like, “They have to make the video.” And a while back, they’d promised to take me to Vegas, because I’d never been. So I took this gig on a Tuesday — it was a tiny gig, it was called “Techno Taco Tuesday.” There were like 80 people there, and I barely made enough for transport. But I had an excuse to go to Vegas, and Rick and Claire were there with me, and we made the video, real DIY style. Another friend of theirs, Peri, was also in Vegas with her boyfriend. Peri is one of the best stylists out there — she and her boyfriend are actually extras in the video. But she helped with the styling, and it just came about like this really friendly thing. My only regret is that I was sober at the time. I’m back to drinking a bit, but being in Vegas when I’m absolutely stick-in-the-butt sober — it was very challenging. It was me at my most introverted. I wish I was able to have a little cocktail, but we still made it work.

And on the way back, we went to Joshua Tree where we rented one of those shitty motel rooms — and this one was inspired by a cave, so there were all those hanging rock things — how do you call them?

Stalagmites? Stalactites? I remember watching that part of the video being like, “What fucking cave are you guys in?”

No cave, just this shitty motel in Joshua Tree. And when we went there, they were so excited to have us. The owners of the motel were like, “Oh, you’re shooting! What is it?” And we were like, “It’s a music video!” And they were like, “That’s so nice. We usually just have porn being shot here!”

The rooms were cave and forest-themed, and there were dead cockroaches everywhere. At one point, they wanted me to get in the bathtub, but I wasn’t sure, because there were so many dead roaches in there. We had to pick them up before we filled up the bathtub. God, imagine actually spending the night there, it’s probably really unsanitary. But it was amazing — really fun — I just wouldn’t sleep there.

And I can’t imagine wanting to have sex in a roachy room… Not to kinkshame or whatever.

Especially when you could just go into nature.

But I feel like the bug problem would be the same.

Maybe. To each their own [laughs]. But it’s kind of like with music, everyone’s interested in other things, and there’s space for all of us in this world.

Watch the music video for "Steady Pace" below.

When did you first get into electronic music?

It was quite early. I was 14 and my friend was in this hip hop dance competition. You know, especially in Poland, “hip hop dance” isn’t connected to hip hop at all [laughs] So it was really funny. But I went to all those championships, and someone was dancing to this crazy track and I was like, “What the fuck is going on?” The track was Aphex Twin, “How to Cure A Weakling Child.” I remember to this day, and that was a moment for me. That was kind of how it started.

Obviously, I wasn’t into IDM when I was 14, but that was the first time I found out about different types of electronic music. From there, I went through more EBM or fidget house. I started seeing more techno stuff, around eight or nine years ago. I was never focused on any one thing, everything’s quite fluid with me — I love to embrace change.

What are you thinking when you’re in the booth?

I did this creative recovery therapy thing, and before then, I’d be really stressed. And now, no thoughts in my head. It’s like those memes about girls who are having sex but thinking about laundry. It’s like that. Especially if I get a little drink, it helps me loosen up — no thoughts behind these pretty eyes. But for seven months, I was DJing sober — it was a new skill to learn, because when you’re sober and there’s a breakdown and the crowd is just standing there and there’s almost no music and everyone’s just staring at you, it gets to your head. So I’ve been working on that a lot. I’m really proud of myself, because this year, I’ve learned to just have my head in the right place.

Obviously, I’m observing the crowd and adapting to how they’re reacting and how I feel, but I’m not getting bothered by anything. I’m still thinking about which type of music would work best in certain situations — that’s still really important. But I’m not only getting validation from how people are reacting. Now, I know how to just believe in myself and do my thing. Sometimes I think about laundry, or if I’ve lost my hotel room key, stuff like that.

I know a lot of people who are trying to DJ — and technical skills aside, a lot of people don’t know how to read a crowd.

I think it’s all about reading the crowd. In this current scene, and especially in Europe, one of the things that I struggle the most with is this new generation of DJs that haven’t done their homework, or haven’t been a resident of the club. They haven’t done openings or closings, they haven’t run the night, they haven’t worked the bar. I think all of that is such an important part of my past. Even if I’m a headliner, I think about the whole lineup, I think about the whole night and the whole experience. But so many of these young new DJs that are booked to open before some bigger DJ, all they do is just play as fast as possible and play only bangers and try to make it about themselves. And I get that — you’ve just been given a chance and you’re excited to prove yourself, but I’m a bit old school. I think that this isn’t really about you or about me, but it’s about the night. That mentality is really important to me.

One time, some young DJ stopped me at a club and was like, “I’m playing my first set next week and I’m opening — what advice do you have?” And I said, “Don’t play fast. If you’re opening, leave space for the night to progress. Don’t play 150 bpm at 9pm. It’s unnecessary.” DJing nowadays has turned into a competition of who can give it to you harder. There’s no sexiness. There’s no groove. It doesn’t feel intimate either. That’s something young DJs should consider.

It’s about the build up.

And it’s about the connection with that group of people. Sometimes it’s fun to go hard and fast, and there’s a place for that. There’s a place for everything. If you’re closing the night, maybe that’s the time. But if you’re opening, just build up to it.

Would you say that DJing is about making people feel sexy?

The music should make everyone feel sexy. Maybe that’s why I never really played super fast techno — that was never really my vibe. I don’t feel sexy playing it, and I don’t think the crowd would either. Maybe sexiness isn’t even the right word, it’s about feeling yourself because the funny thing about me is that I’m quite a prude. I’m a nice Christian girl [laughs]. I don’t think I’m the most sexual person, even though people consider me to be — maybe it’s because of my voice, or looking all Eastern European, but for me, it’s really about passion, and what leads up to it.

It sucks when people see you as something you don’t want to be. And unfortunately, I think a lot of that has to do with the fact that you’re a woman who exists in nightlife — people just project everything onto you when you’re up there.

For sure. When I was younger, I struggled way more with that, especially being Eastern European. There was another famous Eastern European DJ who was really exploring her sexuality and using it — which was good for her. But because of that, for the longest time, I went through phases in which I’d just wear sweatpants, never wear makeup, and barely wash my hair [laughs]. I tried to prove that I was one of the guys and that I deserved to be respected because of it. It took me a long time to accept my femininity and feel okay with being blonde and looking the way I look.

I had to learn how to feel good in my body and not be afraid to show it. I mean, there’s this part in the music video where I’m in a bikini, and it was good moment for me to feel okay with myself. I feel like that bothers a lot of people, especially a lot of men because to them, they think that I’m just using my looks or whatever. But should I hide? Should I pretend that I don’t look the way I do?

I’m just being me, and I think what people are drawn to is authenticity. It's so funny to me when people assume I’m super sexual because I’m not. It’s just their fantasy, and I don’t really have any control over it. That was a big realization for me, that I’d never have full control of my image, or how people see me. So I just do what I want, because there’s nothing else I can really do.