Siren's Great Offering: Venus Underwater

How'd you get into making music?

I moved here to be an actor. I was in acting school and then I went to Basement and I gave up everything. I just wanted to make Techno. I was DJing a lot during the pandemic with my brother. I was pretty good at soccer when I was younger so that was all I did. I thought nothing of it but I always knew I wanted to do music. I would paint a lot. And then when I was in college, I was like, ‘I know this is what I really want to do, I'm just too scared and I want to make money.’

And then it was just inevitable that I couldn't do that anymore. I wanted to be more immersed in art. And so acting I really liked because it allowed me to get away from that toxic masculinity shit. And then it led to music. And it's always been that. I just didn't want to believe it and I didn't think I was good enough. I think that just came from… I don’t know… shame, guilt.

Is acting something you'd want to explore again down the line?

I don't know. I don't think so. I did really enjoy doing theater. Doing theater in front of a hundred, two hundred people, it's kind of like DJing. You're just fully free. You're in a flow state. Everything is in your control. People only know you make a mistake if you show them. Even if you fuck up lines…

You can just roll with it.

Yeah, nobody knows. I just feel like it's changed so much, you have to really play the game. I feel like in acting, you have to be able to model. You have to be good on social media, you have to have a TikTok and do cool videos or you have to come from nepotism. The hurdles are so much stronger because big studios are not doing independent movies anymore. They can't take those risks so that fucks a lot of people. I didn't love it enough to keep doing that. With music it's like, ‘I'll just do this forever and whatever happens, happens.’

How did doing the music for the Willy Chavarria show come about?

I was making a lot of music. I wasn't putting a lot of it out. Same as when I would act on stage, I wouldn't look at it, I wouldn't ever watch myself. When I make music, I just don't want to hear it because I don't think it's good enough. But I made some stuff, I sent it to some people, I put it out. And then my friend, Lennon hit me up and was like, “Hey, I'm going to throw your name in the hat.”

For the Willy show?

Yeah, and Willy liked it and then I met him and it kind of just came from that. He's from Fresno, which is about an hour and a half from where I'm from. Both outcasts from a small ass town in Central California trying to do cool shit, trying to find an escape, trying to figure out what your purpose is. And we just really got along. And so there was a lot of pressure, like good pressure to make good music, fast. And I was making a lot of good music really fast, which was a really great feeling. So I think he saw that.

And he's such a warm, welcoming guy which I'm sure helped. You said he's been like a father figure to you.

I would say he's been like a mentor. That's probably a better way to put it because he's someone who just shows love through his art and I feel like right now a lot of people are super opportunistic to get to where they need to be. Which is understandable I guess because it's New York and there's a hustle and stuff. Part of the reason I love Techno is because  it's undefined and I really believe if you just put everything into it, like he's done with his fashion, good things will happen eventually. If you have a smile on your face, you're good to people, you build a community. He's built a community and that's why people love him.

What was it like working with him and the team?

It was super nice. I worked with another guy, Jess.

Jess Cuevas?

Yeah, who is his Art Director. Amazing. We would share House music playlists all the time with each other. Normally I play Techno and I don't usually make House, even though they're not really too far from the same. So we would get along just sharing ideas, cool things we liked. They would ask for my ideas of what I think about the film; some cuts, the score.

Did you do the score for the video?

Yeah, I did the score for the film and the soundtrack for the runway. What was cool too was on the last day they were like, “can we change something?” And they lowkey wanted me to change half the song and it really tested me. So I changed it all to this drum sequence that I made in 30 minutes and I was really happy with myself. That's what ended up being used in the show. They asked me to do it three hours before and it kind of worked out perfectly.

Was there an element of having to do something outside of your normal style and taste to accommodate what they wanted?

It was kind of harmonious because the House music they like is real House music in my opinion. Willy lived in San Francisco and there was a huge House scene there in the 90s, early 2000s. So they would listen to the stuff I like, I’d listen to stuff they like. We were trying to find a nice fusion while also catering to the scene they wanted to build but also still embodying Willy and myself. So it was pretty seamless, which I appreciated because I've never done anything in fashion like that.

What was the initial discussion like? 

I remember Willy was like, “I want this music to hit someone in their lower chakra.” Like right in someone’s stomach so they could feel it and have an emotional response to it. And that's what I love is giving people that emotional response, giving people that feeling in a natural way rather than in a forced way. So it was like an evolution throughout everything, which is how I like to DJ. I like to build a story. I don't like to plan my sets. I like to be spontaneous. So I feel like it was really spontaneous, which I do well with and it's kind of how they live their life. So that was cool.

Tell me about the project you're working on, the EP.

I think I have 50 tracks, so I'm going to probably put six together.

You said ‘six’?

Yeah, six tracks out of the fifty.

Damn.

I make everything live. So normally nowadays when you make music, you put it into arrangement, you kind of make a formula and then you can fix all of the levels. Like I said, I love Techno because it's very spontaneous, it's undefined. So I plug in everything the way I want, how it used to be made where you just had machines, and then I just make it live. So sometimes I make a lot of mistakes. Sometimes they're good mistakes. 

Is this the first extended project you're releasing?

So it's kind of in between an extended project and a long project. A year or two ago I just threw like ten songs into the ether but there was no real direction. But now there's an intention. Now there's a mind state, almost like a strategy. I would make art just to make it because I thought an artist should just be free.

But as I've met and listened to more people that I respect I feel that the way to respect the art is to have somewhat of a plan in the way you want to execute your vision. You know, you write it down, you build a story. With me, I want to make things that sound futuristic because that's what I think Techno has always been. Even now, it's kind of been a bit bastardized with EDM Techno and stuff. So I really want to bring those elements in a way that feels rebellious, kind of militaristic.

You talked about wanting to build a community around good music. Why is that something that's so important to you and how do you go about building it?

I think it's just by being a good person, doing good things. I feel like music, I feel like art in general has become very singular of ‘me, me, me'. And when it comes to music, it's about building a community, it's about sharing it with others, it's about doing it together with other people. How lonely that must be to just be so egotistical, to want it all for yourself.

So sometimes I'm thinking of how to help my friends before myself. I have some amazingly talented friends so I always feel like I want to showcase them as much as I want to showcase myself. We all want to be validated in some way, right? But I also think nowadays we want to be validated too soon. There's a process. I moved here not knowing one person in New York, almost three years ago, and now we have one of the biggest events this weekend. 

But I think it’s also easy to see why people want validation so quickly because living in New York, you really can do incredible things in your first few months here. I guess maybe an entitlement settles in.

Even three years is pretty quick.

Yeah, it's nothing.

Even how I got Willy was pretty quick. I guess I like to think Willy has a high standard and if I was shit, he would've told me. I think as we all try to be better in life and try to make better things, we have to hold each other accountable. I feel like a lot of us want to do stuff so that we can tell other people we did it, but how many of us are actually doing things because we want to do it for ourselves. I think it's kind of trendy to be an artist right now, and I don't think you can just choose to be that. It's like a lifestyle you have to embody and you have to have a huge appetite for suffering for that. So if you can do that, you'll find the others. A lot of people playing this event are people I believe in, people that do make good music, that care, and eventually that just grows organically.

Has your mindset toward music changed from when you first moved to New York, in terms of it being purely an art form versus feeling like you need to make money out of it?

That is a crazy thought. I think about it a lot because my parents are immigrants. They moved here with no money. I want to change that generational gap for my kids. My parents had jobs, and we had a home in central California. They're a huge success. I want to use what they've given me and take it to another level. So of course I want to make money with my art, but I also believe that you have to not care to make money and just do good work over and over again. The universe will give you what you want as long as you don't pursue it for the wrong reasons. It might happen tomorrow, it might happen twenty years from now. You almost got to relinquish yourself from that control.

But it's hard. I'm married, I want to take care of my family. I could have pursued the money after college and made a lot of money working in finance and stuff, but that's just not the life I wanted. This is the life I've chosen and I feel like it's always been what's meant for me. I think it's normal some days to be like, ‘yo, what the fuck am I doing?’ You should always be checking yourself no matter what you're doing.

Do you still feel like the energy of New York is driving you to do this or it's something else driving you to do it at this point?

I feel like there's a bit of this manic feeling of trying to be something in New York. I mean, I'm still here. I still love New York for what it is. Obviously I want to be playing more, obviously I want to be doing more things in New York, but I just got to make stuff for myself. What drives me is myself. What drives me is this desire to be perfect, knowing it won't happen but also letting that be what pushes me to keep going, to try new things, to be adventurous, fearless. I think you just got to be fearless. You have one life to live. There's no rules, just be a good person. Try things. I would not be in this position if I didn't just try things and just say ‘yes’ and learn.