Anajah Hamilton Says Hello

DRESS by CONSCIOUSLY SHOP MARITHE + FRANÇOIS GIRBAUD, SHOES by CONSCIOUSLY SHOP MIU MIU, TIGHTS by CONSCIOUSLY SHOP

These things are true about Hamilton: She’s an artist, a curator, an indulger, a traveler, and all-around talent who’s inspirations and connections to community guide her pen. After a slow farewell to the modeling industry and a transition into more auditory forms of art, she’s showcasing her vulnerability one lyric at a time. On social media, many edit out imperfections that would leave them feeling vulnerable. The erasure of imperfection, and with it, vulnerability, reinforces the irretrievable ideal of perfection. Hamilton’s artistry exists as a notification to everyone that there is no weakness in honesty. She is carving an image that cannot be erased or archived. It’ll exist beyond Instagram stories and retweets — with her new EP, Hamilton is writing her story over, beginning with ‘hello’. And with this you will never say goodbye.

How would you describe Anajah?

I would say Anajah is a quirky girl. She is a history buff, she loves art, she's really bubbly and fun.

What is your relationship to sound, both internally and externally? 

I've always had a really interesting connection to sound; for one, my ears are super sensitive. I can't listen to bad music. And if I make something bad, I legitimately have to throw it away, like I can't work on it anymore. I've also been singing since I was a child. I was in a choir from eight years old until eighteen then I sang backup for instrumental artists. I would go to the studio with my mom and sit there with my notes. I was always so professional and excited. I’ve always been really demure and quiet about being a singer.

It's something I really care about and it's not something I really like to post or boast about. Not yet, at least, but I do feel like it's something that's really important to me. I recently did a 15-week music theory course because I feel like being an artist, if you want to be someone with longevity or at least with as much knowledge as possible, you have to continuously advance your craft or deepen the idea of it because art is a conversation and it can be repetitive. I'm trying to find as many new and interesting perspectives in my work so people can relate to it when they do hear all my new stuff.

1: ANAJAH wears JACKET by PURE PLEASURES STUDIO, BRALETTE, TIGHTS, SHOES, and BELT are STYLIST'S OWN

2: TOP and PANTS by CONSCIOUSLY SHOP, BELT and RINGS are STYLIST'S OWN

What part of your being do the emotions of your music come from? 

As a Libra, I struggle a lot with my mind and I think I really lead with my brain. I'm a cancer moon as well. I'm not really an emotional person, but when I write music, I feel like I can really open up and say exactly what I feel or  what I actually mean because I don't express emotion to people. But when I write music, it definitely comes from a very sensitive, deep, visceral place that I don't allow most people to enter. I also tend to hide my deepest secrets there.

I struggle with impostor syndrome and chasing perfection and wanting more out of life, dejection, you know, and I think being an artist is being vulnerable and honest in front of people. But I also think having to put it into words, it's such a different experience than drawing or any other medium. I have to legitimately therapize myself in order to create and I write a lot from a place of self-doubt and searching for my worth. 

What would you say is the difference between your creative and analytical mind? 

Well, I think I'm big on compartmentalization. I love having things in boxes, but when I start to create, they kind of bleed into one another. It's like a school project where you're making a diagram. It has all these words and you're adding pictures. That's how I make music. I feel like one side of my brain is thinking about, ‘Okay, how is this gonna look? What color does this remind me of sonically?’ But also, ‘Does this make sense lyrically?’ 

It has to be both. If I try to separate them, it can be a little corny. I definitely blend both sides of my brain a lot when I make music, because it's not just about how it sounds, it also matters if it makes sense.

What do you think about most? 

I guess how I'm perceived, which is so bad. Like it's just bad. It's terrible. I think in all honesty I feel like something that's always on my mind is how I'm being perceived if I'm around all my friends. I'm like, ‘Ok, am I being annoying or too silly?’ if I’m on a date.  I'm like, ‘Oh my God, am I sending out the wrong signals?’

As a person, my brain never stops, but always draws back to being perceived, which also goes back to comparing myself to others and people see me. With that as my main thought, it's also about calming down and re-centering myself.

1: DRESS by CONSCIOUSLY SHOP MARITHE + FRANÇOIS GIRBAUD, SHOES by CONSCIOUSLY SHOP MIU MIU, TIGHTS by CONSCIOUSLY SHOP

2: TOP and SKIRT by SANDY LIANG, SHOES and TIGHTS by CONSCIOUSLY SHOP PRADA, RINGS are STYLIST'S OWN

How do you navigate familiar spaces as you redefine your identity as an artist?

As I redefine myself in this very different part of my life, I think that I'm trying my best to just be as authentic as possible. I feel like in the age of the internet, there's a lot of people who perform or put up a wall or feel like they have to be a certain kind of way for people to like them so that they can get followers, or brand deals or people to really gravitate toward them.

I've never liked that. It always made my skin crawl. I just want to be a human being, whether that's in real life or online. In any part of my life, in any room that I stand in, I just want people to see me as a person.

As you flip through your physical music library, which album do you find your fingers on the most? 

I really love The Dots and Loops album by StereoLab. I saw them a few months ago at Brooklyn Steel and they were so good. They're just so cool and chic and I love the sound that they use. It's so timeless and futuristic, especially for a French disco band from the nineties. It just sounds like it could be from any time period. I love what they sing about, like they sing about just existing time space filling it up, I think it's really interesting.

Describe the last dream you had.

I have a lot of dreams but if I don't remember them. It's because they're gonna happen. I've always been a clairvoyant person and when I was a child, I used to be able to tell people what was gonna happen. I told my mom she was pregnant and she was like, ‘No, I'm not.’ She was, and I named my sister. I've just always been really strange and I feel like dreams are very important. I don't know in what way they're significant to me yet, but I know they're important.

1: TOP and PANTS by CONSCIOUSLY SHOP, BELT and RINGS are STYLIST'S OWN

2: JACKET by PURE PLEASURES STUDIO, BRALETTE, SHOES, and BELT by CONSCIOUSLY SHOP PRADA, TIGHTS are STYLIST'S OWN

What is your fondest memory?

I remember when my great grandmother passed away, I was sitting outside by myself after the repass and I was just talking to the wind telling her I'm going to miss her, like being an odd kid, and then the wind started blowing and I was like, ‘where is it taking me?’

And the wind blew me to where my cousin was and he was digging a hole. I didn't know what he was doing and then I started helping him and we found a horseshoe. It always felt like a good omen. It always felt like she was telling us to find this thing. Even though she's gone, she's still gonna guide us through life. After that, other weird stuff happened. 

She loves frogs, and one night, like, we heard a knock at the door, we opened it, it was frogs, like, just like strange stuff. I feel like my fondest memories are with the older people in my family who have passed on who shaped me into the woman I am now.

How has your influence on others impacted your personal life? 

In my personal life, because so many have seen me go from a girl in my town to doing all of these novel things. It really affects how people treat you. It's very tricky because it’s always hard to differentiate when somebody actually wants to be your friend and not use you for who you know or what room you can get them in.

I also feel like I have a need for people to see me as a person. I think often people say, ‘Oh, she's pretty and you know, she has this on or she's met this person or she's done this or done that.’ But when I actually confide in people emotionally, if I'm going through something stressful or worried about work or if I have a family issue, if I talk to someone who I felt like was my friend or like a lover the response is just like, ‘Oh, you're gonna get through it. It's gonna be okay.’ I'm like, ‘Damn’, it's just so shallow. 

I feel like a lot of people you meet are so focused on chasing after their dreams that they keep it surface level and will cut you off very quickly if you're not feeding into whatever plan they have going on. So what I've struggled with a lot in my personal life is finding genuine people who also work in the same industry as me. I feel like the people I hold close to me are people from back home or people I grew up with. Some people act like their social interactions are a job and I can't do that. It just makes me feel like I'm in a simulation and I hate that.

1:TOP and SKIRT by SANDY LIANG, SHOES and TIGHTS by CONSCIOUSLY SHOP PRADA, RINGS are STYLIST'S OWN

2: DRESS by CONSCIOUSLY SHOP MARITHE + FRANÇOIS GIRBAUD, SHOES by CONSCIOUSLY SHOP MIU MIU, TIGHTS by CONSCIOUSLY SHOP

What does transformation look like as someone who's grown up so connected to the digital space?  

To me, transformation looks like an internal conversation with oneself. Life is so long, and it can be fun to discover all the ways possible that you can present yourself to the world. Being a young person who grew up posting and sharing so much of myself on the Internet, I find that it is so important to have an identity that truly reflects your inner self. To transform in the digital age is to continuously learn who you are, away from the computer. 

Is there anything you've healed from?

Being an artist, both a singer and a model. If you're a model, people love how you look and they want you to be seen and not heard. And the whole idea of your body image and how you view yourself facially is just like, really stressful. I was a singer first and I became a model by accident. Having to transition into the music space, I worry, ‘Do people take me seriously?’ I think something I've healed from is the stress of worrying what people think about me. For the most part I've really calmed down my inner critic and I've just been trying my best to like to sit with who I am. 

I like myself and I think I've healed this whole idea of constantly trying to change myself, trying to fix every little imperfection. We’re always going to grow and change, but the mindset is different. When I’m in a good space, I'm like, ‘Okay, I do like her. She's fun.’

FAUX FUR TOP by CONSCIOUSLY SHOP, TOP and BOTTOMS by SANDY LIANG, SHOES by CONSCIOUSLY SHOP MIU MIU

What are you trying to let go of as you step into this new chapter of your life?

I think I'm trying to let go of my fear of failure. No one wants to fail. No one wants to be a laughing stock. But I think if you don't try,you'll never know. So I think I'm just trying to let go of my fear of doing something and it not being good. I want to be like, ‘You know what, I'm gonna just post the craziest thing in the world like why not?’

For sure. What can we expect next? 

I've been working on a lot of new songs. I've been making an EP for a while and finally wrapping that up and releasing a bunch of singles. What's next for me is just working on music and being considered a singer. I really love being a singer. It's so much work, but it has its moments of fun and creativity, but I love to work on art and my craft and I just want other people to enjoy it with me and to really like it. I want to hear what people think.