Even Mike Pence Fucks
Read Gideon's two poems, "Mike Pompeo's Nipples" and "My 7 Minutes in Heaven with Steve Mnuchin," below.
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Read Gideon's two poems, "Mike Pompeo's Nipples" and "My 7 Minutes in Heaven with Steve Mnuchin," below.
Where were you born?
South London, 1956.
Where do you feel most comfortable?
At home cuddling my wife! But outside of the home, my favorite places are my local gym, the steam railway, and my local pubs.
What quality do you think defines you most?
My empathy; I’m able to see issues from the other person’s viewpoint and adjust my attitude accordingly. I’m also organized, and my life revolves around spreadsheets for data and our family diary.
What do you look for in a companion?
Probably the same as the last answer — plus of course shared interests.
What is your biggest weakness?
Chocolate and real ale!
What has surprised you most in life?
So many people don't realize that their happiness and healthfulness are under their control.
What does your perfect day look like?
5k run, breakfast, training a client, lunch in a pub, stretching, admin, weights workout, and dinner with a film on TV with my wife.
What is your favorite color?
Blue.
Who are your favorite fictional characters?
Jean-Luc Picard, the Tracy family (Thunderbirds), and a few TV detectives.
Who or what is your biggest inspiration?
My first personal trainer — Rob Riches.
What is your favorite food?
Ham, eggs, and chips with a pint of real ale in my local pub.
What quality do you dislike most in someone?
When someone is self-centered, and not considering other people.
What are your earliest memories?
The Cuban Missile Crisis and Great Train Robbery.
What is your biggest luxury?
I only travel business class long-haul.
How do you show someone you love them?
Gifts, kisses, and nice surprises.
What got you into MMA?
I grew up playing soccer and basketball, but I liked everything: tennis, skateboarding, even golf. I started to train in Muay Thai in my early 20’s and then I discovered MMA later in my mid-20’s. I loved it right away, the excitement, the challenge, I embraced all of it.
What was it like growing up in La Roche-sur-Yon in western France?
The western part of France is nice and quiet. Surrounded by family and friends, it was a great place to build a solid foundation. I go back there anytime I can to enjoy laid-back weekends with my family. My best friend Thomas Le Souder whose stage name is Myth Sizer is also from there. We grew up together listening to hip-hop and dreaming about a great future. It’s funny to look back and see what we have accomplished.
What made you switch from fighting as a hobby to fighting as a career?
Honestly, I stumbled upon it by accident, but my competitive spirit fueled my ascent. The rush of competition, the high of winning, and my relentless drive to improve propelled me to take the next step in the fight game.
Tell me about your parents’ reaction when you told them you wanted to be a professional MMA fighter?
Aha, that’s a good one. Well, my parents always supported me even if they did not know what MMA was at that time. My grandfather boxed as a hobby, so my dad got the boxing bug as a fan. I would say that them attending my Muay Thai competitions prepared them, even if my mom is scared to death and cannot watch any fight live. At the end of the day, they support whatever I do. Ups and downs, they are there for me and by my side.
CIRYL wears JACKET and PANTS by ZEGNA, SHOES by UNITLAB, SUNGLASSES by GIVENCHY, WATCH and JEWELRY is CIRYL’S OWN.
What would you say if your kids told you they wanted to be MMA fighters?
My advice would be to pursue their passions with confidence, and I'll be there to back them up!
You have incredible skin. What’s your current skincare routine?
I'm very mindful of my skin, especially due to irritation from my multiple training sessions throughout the day and the dryness due to taking several showers. I use hydrating creams and Horace products, specifically designed to keep my skin healthy and to prevent irritation. My body is my day-to-day tool, and it's essential to care for it. Staying healthy is crucial, both in and out of the octagon.
CIRYL wears COAT by ASTRID ANDERSEN, SHORTS by IAN CHARMS, BOOTS and SOCKS by GIVENCHY, SUNGLASSES BY KENZO, WATCH and JEWELRY is CIRYL’S OWN.
Who got you into skincare?
I would say my father first! He was always the one staying in the bathroom the longest. But honestly, it mainly comes from other professionals recommending what is best for my skin type.
Where do you live? Where do you wish you lived?
Currently, I am living in Paris, but I like to travel, to discover new cultures and to share memorable moments. I like Paris, it is a fun and bustling city, but who knows, I really love warmer climates and laid-back environments, too.
Outside of MMA, what are your biggest passions?
Nothing crazy, I like spending time with my kids and friends, having big dinners together. Playing video games with friends, traveling to exotic places, golfing, and more recently going to the shooting range. All these activities are great ways for me to unwind and at the same time staying grounded in what matters most.
What’s going through your mind when you’re fighting? Are you ever afraid?
During a fight, I'm focused on executing my strategy to win. Stress is inevitably present, but I channel it into positive energy. Stepping into the octagon is just a huge adrenaline rush, it keeps me on my toes to navigate all the various threats like punches, kicks, wrestling moves, and submission attempts.
What does it feel like to win?
I'm a competitor, I love to win. Each victory is an achievement and rewards weeks of a long and intense grind. My last fight was in Paris, at home, in front of French fans — the atmosphere was electric. It gave me an extra boost of energy and pride. Winning is just the best feeling in the world.
Athletes and fighters are in many ways like artists. And for many artists, once they’ve finished a big show feel a sense of doom and ask themselves, “What’s next?” What does that experience look like for you after a big fight?
After a big fight, there is obviously a time of euphoria, but it also can veer into despair on bad days… it depends. The fight game is cruel. There are only two in the octagon and there are only two possible outcomes: winning or losing. I do not really feel the sense of doom that some artists may experience. I’m never asking myself, “What’s next?” because I have only one objective in mind, and it is to get the world heavyweight title. Maybe once I get it, this feeling will come.
Tell me about your fashion sense.
I love fashion, it’s kind of my thing. I'm quite particular about my clothing choices, nothing is left to chance. My style reflects my personality — relaxed and outsized, yet elegant, like me! I appreciate brands that combine comfort and style. I like clothing that is unique with some “wow” effect. I like mixing vintage stuff with more modern cuts.
If you weren’t an MMA fighter, what other career could you see yourself doing?
Probably I’d do something else in sports like soccer or basketball. I’ve always known I’d do something with my body. I like to perform. I would also love to be a Hollywood movie star one day. I love cinema, playing roles, and getting into characters.