Above: Install views.
That’s a great one, I’ve never heard that. My dad’s phrase was ‘That which does not kill me makes me stronger,’ and my mom’s was ‘Normal people worry me.
That’s so funny.
Do you feel personally connected to this, have you carved out this sort of path in your life?
I think for a long time I was very unconsciously following these masculine ideals, and it literally fucked my life up. It was crazy, I had a total crash and I was like, ‘What the fuck? I’m doing all the things that it seems like the world wants me to do.’ It’s a weird thing, there’s a social role you’re born into with expectations placed upon it, who you are or whatever kind of thing people are trying to organize you into. I think there are advantages to playing to that and also severe disadvantages—the road to being a bad person is really paved, it seems like open arms that are saying, ‘Come to the dark side.’ It takes a lot of strength to learn kindness and to be compassionate to other people.
I was listening to a TED Talk about the researcher who was studying either the gorilla or the orangutan, but he popularized the idea of the alpha male—it got completely misconstrued. His original argument was that the alpha male did a lot of emotional labor in the community, literally things like kissing babies, consoling others, and doing all this work that was an example of a compassionate male. There are so many examples of people in power who seem to think being cold is being strong, which is actually damaging in terms of setting an example, but also counter to what a social hierarchy needs in order to be sustainable at all.
My girlfriend and I always joke about men behaving badly and we say, ‘Just another man dealing with his feelings.’ We joke that everybody suffers at the hands of a white man dealing with their feelings poorly. We have this collective suffering of this totally unjust situation.
It’s an interesting look at masculinity. I think masculinity is really in question right now, because what does it really even mean to be masculine? Or feminine for that matter? I love the silence of these objects, they seem almost like this stiff upper lip.
But the eyes don’t lie. You see someone who’s clearly in pain or suffering and they’re like, ‘I’m fine,’ but you know they’re definitely not fine.
'No Vacancy' is on view at 56 Henry, presented by Reyes Finn as part of Condo New York through July 26th, 2019. All images courtesy Reyes Finn. Lead image: 'Burnout'.