Vintage jacket, Coach tights, Kenzo shoes, TUZA jewelry (left); Prada sunglasses & top, Sandy Liang dress, AREA shoes (right).
How else do you define beauty?
‘Beauty’ is this incredible term that is very complex. We see it one way, but my brain sees it in so many others. I’m very much a chameleon and I love transforming and experimentation. I think that’s a cosmic activity in itself, not being riddled with people’s ideas of you but rather, ‘How do I envision myself?’ And being around people that want to transform you, like, ‘Let’s play, let’s get into fantasy.’ Fantasy and reality are intertwined, and I’m all about that collision. I think more than ever that it’s no longer about escapism—it’s escapism, but making it real.
What does beauty look like to you within your community?
I think that beauty is something that needs to be reworked and re-examined within society at large. And my community—I think we’re the most beautiful. We deserve to demand, to overtake, the systems of oppression and rejection. So much of my work has been a direct result of constant rejection and repression by people who didn’t necessarily deem me worthy, and me just saying, ‘No, fuck you. I’m gonna do whatever I want to do. I know that I’m a boss ass bitch.’
A lot of brands—not just brands, but entities at large—are opening up towards us in regards to beauty and creating passageways for us to enter. But we have to continue to push, and by no means is it an easy journey. We have to continue to break down walls. I can’t talk into the future, but I know that what I’m doing now is something I’ll be doing for the rest of my life.
Now that you’re regularly flying around the world, how has your relationship to your hometown changed?
I have so much gratitude to the universe for facilitating my ability to travel and experience culture and identity and different ways of life, and having the IRL conversation. That’s been a lifelong yearning, to be able to see the world and actively engage.
I enjoy meeting people in their contexts and telling them about New York and having this self-reflective exercise. There’s a global understanding of trials and tribulations within the LGBTQIA community. We may be living in different circumstances, but we all understand each other. There’s this sense of, ‘Oh my god, I’m in this agonizing situation, but through this agonizing circumstance I’m still growing, and I’m still effervescent, and I’m still gonna be larger than life, because those are all mechanisms of how I have to protect myself.’ That, for me, is what keeps me pulsating: when I see my community shine.
What can we do to find acceptance from the places we come from and the people who raised us?
A big part of it is knowing your worth and standing up for yourself, and not accepting disrespect. Being our authentic selves—me walking down the street presenting the way I want to present, that comes with backlash and fear for safety and security. Me going back to my neck of the woods in Queens—that was one of the most anxiety-inducing days I’ve had ever. For me, safety and security, especially for people in my community, is a day-to-day thing. People don’t get to experience this on a screen on Instagram, but these are real things happening in real-life spaces. It’s a disservice if I don’t touch upon it.
Moving forward to make progress, practicing patience, I’m also not pointing fingers at people, like, ‘Oh you hate me.’ It’s not that I want to understand where they’re coming from, but I do want them to know that I exist, and I want them to know that I’m not going anywhere and that I’m going to continue to live and breathe. Whether or not you want to understand, that is no longer my issue. So much of it is about building up yourself and building up your character, and meditating on these things.