What do you feel most judged on as a mother? What are the most difficult aspects of being a mother and an advocate in a time where social is so prevalent?
I think people tend to judge mothers super harshly when it comes to sexuality and modesty, and it never makes sense to me because we know where babies come from! That’s something I’ve definitely struggled with and felt judged on. Dealing with social media as a mom and an advocate can sometimes be suffocating. Everything is expected to be perfect and be aesthetically pleasing; it leaves no room for duality.
What do you want your legacy to be?
I just want to be great––in everything I do.
You’ve spoken on how you were fortunate enough to breastfeed your daughter for 21 months. Can you explain the importance and privilege that goes hand in hand with breastfeeding?
It’s widely accepted in the maternal community that breastfeeding is the most optimal option, so aside from all the health reasons that makes it important, breastfeeding for black women is a form of resistance. For so long, black women weren’t allowed to nurse their own children; they nursed somebody else’s child. So I think breastfeeding for black women is so important just based on that alone. But what people don’t realize is just how all encompassing breastfeeding is. Many working mothers in low-wage jobs go back to work sooner than their counterparts and are in jobs that make pumping and storing difficult, and some mamas may not even be aware of the benefits of breastfeeding. Low-income mamas, especially, do not have access to any lactation consultants or outside support for their breastfeeding journey. There are a lot of barriers to breastfeeding from socioeconomic status, education status, societal norms, etc. which is why I would never mention how long we nursed without mentioning the privilege that allowed it to happen. Ultimately, fed is best though––formula or breastfeeding.
You’re a full-time model. You’re a full-time poet. And you’re a full-time mother. How do you deal with the complexities of being a multidimensional person?
I don’t really think of it as “dealing” sometimes I get stressed out and I’m like “just pick one thing and stick with it”, but it’s important that I honor all parts of me. Realizing I can do and be whatever I want to be.
What is the most important thing your daughter has taught you thus far?
Don’t pass judgement. It will be your kid screaming the next day. Or Syx’s favorite––running around the playground barefoot as I cringe at all the possible germs. And don’t sweat the small stuff! Life goes on and quickly.
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