Lxst & Found

He has a very kind and funny way about him, cracking jokes and rapping part of an unreleased song for me in the middle of our interview. His openness with himself and with his fan base is evident, admirable, and should win him the kind of fans he desires: ones that are down for the cause and won’t come and go.

Today, Lxst releases new single, "Upset," which features a tropical beat under an entrancing guitar riff. The rising artist's raps and vocals accompany the summery tune as he questions whether he's ready to love again. 

Who is it "Upset" for? What does it mean to you?

I basically wrote “Upset” as a statement with the relationships that I’ve had in my life, but specifically my girl. And a lot of things in my life are changing right now from where I used to be 7 months ago. Now it’s like, I’m going, I’m moving, becoming bigger and doing things that I really wanna do, so it’s just about a girl who can handle all of that, and a girl that I want to be able to handle all of that.

How long has it been since you found yourself nearly homeless, kicked out of school and your home in Arizona. What brought you here, to now?

It’s been about two years, a year and a half. I was still living with my homie, I wanna say less than a year ago. Just being consistent. I didn’t really start doing this music shit til I met G, my manager, which was less than a year ago. We haven’t even been working for a full year, so it’s been fucking crazy. So, yeah, just being consistent with this music shit, tryna write every day. You know, when you’re looking for a place to stay, I was at three different highschools. I got kicked out of one, I had to drop out of the other one - with one credit left; it was a fucking P.E. credit. So I was like, I’m worried about working more than this school shit. So I was working every day, multiple jobs. I worked at a salad place, this one lil cafe place. I worked at PF Changs, that shit was ass. I was bussing tables. It was nothing wrong with the job, but I went there one day and I was like, I feel like this is gonna be my last day. That’s when I kinda started writing every single day. That’s literally around the same time I was writing my songs “Exhausted” and “Last Time”. Right when I quit, I dropped “Last Time”, and it went on the SoundCloud charts. It was, like, Top 14, with no label or anything. After that, I was like, oh shit, I can really do this, and I started taking it as serious as I could take it.

What is it like coming up through SoundCloud?

Shit, you deal with a lot of, Oh, you’re a SoundCloud rapper, type. The stereotypical rapper. Especially in highschool, that’s what they like to clown on. Especially, I was at a high school with a bunch of rich ass motherfuckers. I’m over here with two weeks worth of clothes. But I tried to put out a persona, I guess, that made it seem like I had money, but I really didn’t. I was broke as fuck. When I put my ego down and started dropping real music on SoundCloud, real shit about my life, real stories, I think that’s when people started not really being You’re a SoundCloud artist, but You’re an artist in general. But at the end of the day, I am a SoundCloud artist, I don’t give a fuck, ‘cause that’s what I started on. Shoutout SoundCloud, they wanna interview me in about two weeks. Guess I’m a SoundCloud artist. 

Did you always know you were going to do music?

I didn’t know I was finna do this shit. I was really focused on basketball for the majority of my life, ‘cause my dad played overseas professionally. I was training in the mornings before school, takin’ it hella serious, tryna go to college. Life had different plans, pretty much. Everything that happened happened for a reason.

Have you always been passionate about music, though? As a fan?

Yeah. I think it really started… When I got kicked out, I moved back in for a month while I was going to that new highschool. I didn’t have a car, so I had to walk about two miles… I’d be listening to music all the way there, and all the way back. That’s when I started writing more, when I’d come back from school. And I was writing in every single class. I’d just sit in the back with my headphones and just write. Just mind my business.

My math teacher was like, What’s going on? He was gonna be my basketball coach, but I didn’t have money to pay for basketball. I would’ve started, too, on varsity. He said I wasn’t really committed, and I wasn’t, because I couldn’t go to all the practices because I had work. I just let him know the situation, because he was like, Why aren’t you doing the work in class? I was like, N****, I’m not even in a stable environment living condition wise and money wise, I’m more worried about all this other shit. He was one of the first teachers to understand and be like, Just do what you gotta do, I’m not gonna be on your ass. I really respected it. That’s what gave me a little more confidence with this music shit, because that was the only thing really holding me down. Keeping me at peace, keeping me at bay.

When I was out of school, I was like now I’m gonna work so I can stack my money so I can get studio time. I wanted to invest in myself, and that’s exactly what I did. I invested in studio sessions for all my songs, for “Exhaust” especially, with my homie, Evan. I paid him, like, for two day sessions; I just stood there, recording, getting every single ounce out of it, because every dollar mattered.

Who are your biggest musical inspirations?

It started when I was walking home every day from school. I started listening to X, Juice, Lil Skies, I was listening to a lotta Lil Wayne, Lil Yachty. I’d say my top influential artists would probably be X and Juice, people that really made me feel… and Skies… old Lil Skies… that really made feel like I could do something and that I could better myself. If I was sad, I already had a song I would click on. I didn’t really like anyone, even when I was younger, I only really fucked with my mom. I’ve just always been really weird about people that I don’t know, even to this day, I don’t really like going to parties, I don’t like doin’ none of that shit. I’m introverted or whatever the fuck they say. But those artists really kind of influenced me. Especially Juice WRLD, him and X, 100%.

What was it like seeing both of them pass away, two of your favorite artists?

Um… it was ass. I remember when X passed, I kind of didn’t believe it. It didn’t feel real. But, he actually passed at a time in my life when I couldn’t feel shit. I was just like, fuck, another thing on top of another thing.

And then Juice WRLD, when he passed, a lot of things were going really good in my life. I talked to one of my homies the other night about it, because that was one of my main goals was to work with him. If I fuckin’ got a 10 million dollar record deal, this and that, I still wouldn’t give a fuck as long as I got a song with Juice.

Where did your name, Lxst, come from?

Lxst [pronounced “lost"]... I was living with my homie Noah, probably 2017, when I was starting going on Soundcloud. I had one before, it was like, “Fuck with Malcolm”, or some shit like that. Like I said, I was rappin’ bout dumb shit. I remember I was sitting down, and I was just like L-X-S-T. Because without this music shit, I feel like I’d be lost in life. Through all the inconsistencies around me, my music has always been the most consistent thing, that I do every single day. Without it, I don’t know where the fuck I’d be.

Your “Intro” to your EP, Lost, is extremely vulnerable and spoken from the heart. Can you discuss the decision to start your debut EP with a spoken poem about the struggles you have endured and about living authentically?

Just so people can know more about me. That was kind of the point of the whole album, but I feel like I’m gonna go even more into detail in my next album. But, that was kinda just like a stepping stone in the right direction. I wanted to put that out there. A lot of people be like, That intro is insane, I didn’t know that about you. It’s just like being more personable, ‘cause, at the end of the day, people who support me, I want them to know more about me because they care. It’s not like some fake-follower, fake-fan shit. My fan base really fucking cares about me, all the DMs I get… I talk to them all the time. They deserve to know more about me.

Openness about mental health is important to you. Can you discuss this journey and why it is so important?

I feel like I’ve always been emotionally detached from a lot of shit. I always really really really liked being by myself. At a time in my life when I was out of my house, when I was partying, I got it all out of my system. But that’s when I started drinking at these parties was when I started feeling depression, because I’d never felt that shit before, ever. I wasn’t worried about that shit. But I remember after my homie died, I didn’t even go to his funeral. I cried for about two days. Then, I didn’t cry until a whole year after that. I’m really passionate about [mental health] because… I don’t wanna go too much into detail, but, you know, life got hard for me. Life got hard for people that I know. My best friend killed himself. So, after that, I made a whole 360 on my life and started figuring out shit that was important. Not really playing victim with shit, just taking a hold and control of whenever I’m feeling down, whenever I’m feeling like this, putting that energy in a positive way with the music. Putting out my experience, so people can learn from them. I don’t want people to have to experience the shit that I had to experience to be successful. You don’t wanna have to go down that low into the ground and then have to try to dig yourself out. Because it’s hella risky. The shit I was doin’ was hella risky, mentally. I’m glad how it all worked out, because I feel like now, even at fuckin’ 20, I don’t really feel like nothing can bother me anymore.

What are you choosing to say with your EP coming out later this year? What story are you telling?

Just kinda my mindset, where I’m at right now. I wouldn’t even say a whole ass message I’m tryna put out because each song has a different message. I guess it's just more music from me, more real shit from me. Probably some of my favorite songs that I’ve ever recorded. I just hope that somebody really takes away something from any of the songs. I don’t wanna have a broad generic message because I love the opinions.

So it’s more up to the interpretation of your fans. So, what’s your favorite song you’ve ever made and why?

It’s an unreleased song.

Is it a secret?

Nah, it’s not a secret… I’ll sing a little…

[then I got serenaded with a dope unreleased song]

That was really great.

What?

I liked it.

*laughs* Thank you. Yeah, I got a lot of unreleased shit, ‘cause when I’m in Arizona, I don’t record because I like to just live my life. I feel like it’s very important… People live images. People gotta be this typa way if they’re an artist, you know, carry on this image, but for me, my image is just me. So, when I get down here, I like to just live my life and not record, and get inspiration from shit out here. Whether it’s my homies, or, I’m kinda isolated out here, just me ‘n my girl. A lot of people get lost in the sauce up in L.A. I just wanna always keep it 100, keep me and my mental health where it’s supposed to be. I feel that.

What are your goals for this upcoming year?

I don’t really have goals like that. Lowkey, I just live in the moments. I really do, I’m not even just saying it just to say it. If shit happens, it happens, if it doesn’t, it doesn’t. I just learned it, just to be okay with wherever I’m at in life. Obviously wanting better for myself, but I think I had a problem with… I would set goals, like I wanna hit a monthly million listeners, that typa shit. But I noticed I would get caught up in the highs too much, and then get caught up in the lows too much. So, I’m kinda learning to just stay in the middle. And it helps me with stress and pressure and all that, because I don’t feel it anymore. Obviously, I get nervous, like when I had to do my first show in Amsterdam, but other than that, I don’t feel that… That’s why I feel like I’m so good right now with my music state of mind, because I’m really just focused on me. I have a strong faith in myself that everything will work out, and one day I’ll get to where I wanna be. I don’t know when, but I know that my consistency is gonna be good.

That’s really good advice. Staying in the middle.

Yeah, it sucks, because I remember when I was in LA the first time when my shit was bumpin’, but money was running low before I signed. I was stressing, and everything was starting to become more businessy. Thinking back to when I started recording with my homies, just getting high, having fun with it. That should be it every time, because if I’m not having fun with this, then why the fuck am I doing it?

True. If you could say one thing to new fans, what would you say?

Uh, welcome…

That’s a good answer.

… I hope you guys connect with me in some way. I hope you fuck with me. At the end of the day, I want fans that are really gonna fuck with me, I don’t want the saturated-ass typa fan bases that come and go. Most of the time when people see me and listen to my music, they connect with it. If you don’t connect with it, then don’t support me… pretty much. I don’t wanna none of that fake shit.