What’s now, what’s next?
Right now it’s three indie movies. But, we’re waiting.
If you commit to the bit, babe, you’ve got it. Do you have any dream roles? Or, is there anyone you’d want to play in a biopic?
I would love to play Dolly Parton.
Absolutely.
Playing her would be a dream. She’s like nobody else. She’s so cool. I know about her lore, you know? It’s interesting.
I see. What kind of music are you listening to right now?
I'm listening to Tommy Genesis. I’m listening to Frank Ocean and Baby Keem. I’m listening to Padam Padam by Kylie Minogue. Oh, and 100 gecs.
They’re so good. What about you? Would you ever do an EP or album? That process of collaborative art making seems up your alley.
I’m actually working on a song with this NYC artist Blaketheman1000. He’s really talented and he thinks I should do an EP or album. But, I’m not sure yet if I will. I think I’m decent at writing lyrics and poems but not very musically skilled in a technical way.
Tell me about the poems.
I used to write poetry back in high school. I wrote this one:
This is an apology to us both
For how much I loathe you and lost your trust You told me "use this as a chance for growth" Now it's all interplanetary dust
I told you I was drowning in darkness
Just looking at you felt sensational
Until you became nothing but harshness
You were never even motivational
I can't help myself from adoring you
Your kisses used to feel like warm honey
You once turned so cold out of the blue
Then you gave me up like ransom money With a kind heart and soft facial features
You turned into the cruelest creature
That was after my boyfriend and I broke up. He went away to college and of course it was too hard to keep dating at that point.
There’s always that one relationship that ends because of “bad timing.” Which, in a way, is its own self-fulfilling prophecy. Timing isn’t something that can be so easily pinned down with dualistic thinking. I.e. good timing, bad timing, yada yada. You can’t really plan ahead for things like girlfriends, boyfriends, and other types of best friends.
That poem really summed up my feelings on it. Then I fell in love again and wrote this for someone while I was with them;
To the wonderful love of my life
Your face and body is prepossessing
Someday I'll be your adoring wife
Our situation may seem depressing
But soon we will have a glorious life
With my darling zest for adventure
And your brilliant mind and soul
We will spend our lives together
Our love becoming celestial
I know your joy feels obliterated
Soon it will not feel that same way
As if sadness was inoculated
And I'll be there with a floral bouquet
Because these days will happen to you
But I will always help you pull through
Later in life I turned my poetry into songs. I have music on SoundCloud because I mostly make it just for myself to hear. My favorite song of mine on SoundCloud is my song “come through.” It’s about me and also about my best friend and my ex-boyfriend who has become my emotional support ex-boyfriend; he has never left my life since we met at 19. I met him in LA when I was 18. Both him and another ex told me to go to Miami and follow my dreams. They both played huge roles in helping me become more confident. Now we’re 26.
It’s grounding to have someone who knows you from one chapter of your life and then they pop up or stay with you into another chapter. It doesn’t always work out that way. I have someone like that who recently came back into my life. He was my first boyfriend and he was able to shine some lights on pretty dark things around me. It was nice to be reminded of that luminosity, to be seen through. I sometimes wish we had some more words that describe the different ways of relating or kinds of relationships we have with certain people. I mean “Ex” can feel too big and broad. “Boyfriend” can feel constraining. “Lover” is too plastic, slippery. I want more language-speak. Like, more words for specific kinds of connections makes so much sense.
I say in that song “if you wanna come back / I would tell you come through / it’s an ordinary task / like fixing up some food,” which isn’t necessarily true it just… sounds good.
Well, yes. Playing the “what if...” game always makes for good storytelling. Let’s plan to chat again soon.
Right now I'm filming a movie that has its SAG Interim Agreement, so the weekend is best!