MIRRORS

Cece’s in a realm of her own, one that resists simple categorization, one that instead floats through the air like the burning embers of a firework—alive, aflame, just out of reach. She sounds how Instagram's Rio de Janeiro filter looks. Listening to her latest album, Miss Behaves, teleports you to the passenger seat of a convertible on the LA freeway at night, silhouettes of palm trees skeletal in the writhing dark descending on the hills. 

As the 20 year old singer-songwriter-producer prepares to open for the Snow Strippers and Isabella Lovestory on their tours later this fall, we sit down to discuss her mysterious past and magical future. 

CECE NATALIE wears SET by OUTKAST, SHOES by UGG

So, Miss Cece Natalie, who the hell are you? 

Well, I'm Cece Natalie and I’m Mia, the creator of Cece. Cece started out as the fantasy version of myself. Mia was always very shy, but Cece was whoever I wanted to be. I try not to define her. Music has always been the thing at the center of my soul. 
But then a bunch of really horrible stuff happened. I was living in a studio apartment with my mom, at one point sleeping in my car. That’s when it felt like Cece just came out of me. She got me out of there. And to this apartment in Brooklyn. 

And that was around the time when you made Miss Behaves, yeah? 

I don't know how I did that in that environment. I see the world in a very magical way. I was sleeping in my car in Connecticut, and one night, I felt Cece emerge from my body and become my guardian angel. At the time, it didn’t feel like Mia making that album. I had my Cece pants on. And I really was just so determined. I needed to get out of there. It felt like Cece was my only hope. 

I heard you just moved from Connecticut to New York. What’s a day in your life like in the city? 

So, so much better. Connecticut was a very lonely place. 
It was so hard not having a room, sleeping on an air mattress, not having any privacy. I'm a person who needs a lot of solitude and alone time. Once I moved out, I really felt like myself again. 
Seeing my friends every day is the most incredible feeling. It really inspires me.  

That's really beautiful. When you're making music and when you're writing music, what do you look toward for inspiration? 


I don't really write. My process is kinda weird. I have my headphones on. I'm listening to the beat. And things just come to me. Sometimes it's lyrics I didn't even write down in my notes app. But once I open that project file with the beat that I made and I start recording, it just comes. It's almost like speaking in tongues. 

I feel like I really relate to that when I'm writing. Sometimes I feel like I black out and I come to and I look at what's on the page and I'm like, who did that? 

That’s how you know it’s your calling. 
That's how you know you're good at it.

It's like it feels like you're channeling like some otherworldly power and all of a sudden you're like, wait, I don't know who did this, but you're almost like the conduit for something greater.

Yeah. You're right. I was making a song and then listening back to it because I don't remember what it was like to make it. 
I don't remember how I made it. Just having these things just kind of come to me and then listening back, it's like—that's what makes me feel really confident in my music. 
I think the best songs I ever make are the ones where it all just kind of happens. 

CECE NATALIE wears DRESS by DI PETSA, SHOES by CAROLIN HOLZHUBER

Do you have a favorite song you've ever made? 

I have multiple. I feel like I really like most of my music. Ironically, the only song in my discography that I don't like is Ambulance. And that's a lot of people's favorite song. 


It's really good. 

I realized recently, like, it's not a bad song, people just don’t get what it means to me. It's kind of perceived as this pop-princess-party-club song, when in reality it’s a very personal song. It’s about seeking out male validation I felt like I didn't have access to, and being so lonely and desperate, trying to change myself to make somebody finally see something in me. It’s a really depressing song to me, and having it perceived as something that it's not made me feel angry. 

It's hard as an artist when you put something out into the world that means something so specific to you, but then people interpret it in such a different way that it becomes a secret third thing hovering in the balance.

That's what it is! Yeah. 
It feels like it's not mine anymore. When I first made it, I loved it. I was like, this is the best song ever. 

What other challenges do you feel like you're facing as an artist? 


Feeling very misunderstood. I don’t know if there’s a current archetype that defines how I want to be seen. I want to be seen as everything that I am. 
 People don't know how to categorize me because I don't put myself in a box. 

It's such human nature to try and define something, but you're totally right. Sometimes with music, to define it can make it feel smaller. And correct me if I'm wrong, you are the producer of all your own music. As someone who would not know how to do that ever, what does it feel like to have such ownership over what you're creating?

Producing is honestly my heart. I think I'm a much better producer than I am a writer, a singer, a performer. If  I didn't make the beat, I can't really have fun making the song. It doesn't feel as expressive. I make music to let things out and give myself peace, and I feel like if I'm not making everything, then I don't achieve that. And 
I love being able to listen to a demo and if I want to change one little thing or a couple little things, I can do that. I can change whatever I want. 

Let's talk about the differences between Mia and Cece. 
What would you say that Mia wants in life? What does Cece want?

Cece has one mission: to put other people in my world. When people listen to my discography, I want it to feel like they're stepping into this city that I've built inside my head. And as Mia, I want to do everything. Direct movies. Write books. Become a photographer, a makeup artist, hairstylist, interior designer. 

I did stalk you on Twitter a little bit. You once tweeted, “I don't want to blow up. 
I want to be Sky Ferreira” which I'm obsessed with. I could put that on a t-shirt. But you also have a song called I Want to Be the Star, so I'm curious. Is fame something that you're seeking? 
Is it something that you're curious about?


I want to be famous. But I don’t want a crazy blow up moment so that I can be famous. I want to be prepared for the spotlight first. 

What’s a Cece Natalie Show like? What does it feel like to perform your music live? 


When I perform live, I feel this energy coming into me—I feel very powerful and very connected to other people 

What's the weirdest thing that's ever inspired a song or a song lyric? 

My friend called my apartment a trap house. And I said, No it's a trap spa. I wrote a lyric: “you say I live in a basement underground, no window, but I still decorated that shit like it was the salon.” 
I’d rather write about my apartment than about boys. 
Like why am I writing about you? Every time I walk back to my street, my apartment is always there. Unlike you. 


Talk to me about love—falling into it, falling out of it. 

I don't think I've ever recieved romantic love. But there’s a vulnerable Cece, who feels like, why don't you love me? 
But now I'm a much more aggressive, confident Cece. 

If you write about a man, do you give him a heads up that he’s going to be on a song? Or do you just drop it? 

It really depends on the circumstances. Men have gotten mad before, like, Why’d you put me in a song? Well why'd you do me dirty? Would you rather I go and pop your tires, or would you rather I take it to the booth? 

I'm either gonna key your car or I'm going to immortalize you in my art. 
Like, be grateful, actually. Is there anything that you feel like you're afraid of in life, if anything? Secretly, I have to confess right now 
I'm afraid of Labubus 

Me too! 
Me too. My mom sent me a text this morning, she’s been very sick, and—hold on, I’ll read it verbatim: 
I want to warn you, have nothing, all caps, NOTHING to do with Labubu dolls, please. If you do, it will allow demons in, and they will kill me. I'm not playing around. 
I'll text later. 

She’s feeling a lot better now. Wait, you know Hunter Shires, right? 

Yes, I love Hunter. My Baltimore boy. 

He told me he burned a Labubu the other day and he thought of me. 

Wait speaking of fire, what is lighting up your life right now? What’s exciting for you? 
What's bringing me joy? 


Well, first of all, the fact that it's summer. I’m a summer girl. 
But honestly, listening to my unreleased music, the thrill of it, just knowing people are gonna hear it one day. That really gives me adrenaline.

What do you hope the new album inspires for people? 


I want it to make people feel like they're in a movie. 
I want it to make people feel like their life is magical and melodramatic and rainy because I love the rain. I wanted to make them feel like they're in a castle in the 1800s. 
But with, like. Trap drums. 

It's the Trap Chateau. 

It’s very much a Cece album, but to me it’s not a party album. There's a lot of emotion. Making it felt like having a realization. I want people to romanticize their life to it.

Last question. Are you keeping any secrets? 

I have a whole collection of my dead vapes, every color of the rainbow, and sometimes I like to dump them out and assort them by color. It's like a bottomless pit. 

Not the vape graveyard. What's your favorite flavor?

I like the fruity flavors. I’m trying to get into mint. But I don't like any of the “ice” flavors. And honestly, fuck I.C.E. Even for vapes. 

Listen to So proud below.