Naughty You
Happy Poly-days
All throughout last year, I got myself involved in a throuple (poly) relationship with two other women. The girl who "brought us together" made it clear that she did not want me and the other girl talking outside of the throuple. Long story short, the relationship between us three ended. But earlier this year, me and the girl who I was not "supposed" to be speaking to reconnected. Now she’s my full-blown girlfriend.
Santa's Sugar Babies
My best friend and I were hanging out with our friend’s ex-boyfriend. After we hung for a couple of hours, he was on his way home, but he left his credit card at our apartment. So, we went Halloween shopping and bought like two Halloween costumes each. We both bought Juuls and pods, groceries, alcohol—we must’ve spent hundreds of dollars, but fuck him. He never realized it anyways, because he’s loaded and drops a ton of cash whenever he's fucked up.
Holy Cheese
There’s this really yummy Swiss hybrid cheese called challerhocker; it’s like the perfect balance of nutty and salty. It’s honestly really hard to find in person, so I’d been ordering it online for awhile but it gets really expensive to pay for cheese shipping (it’s delicate). I went to my local grocery store one day, and lo and behold—they were stocking it. I was stupid shocked, so I shoved the biggest wedge up my shirt and cheeselifted. It was the most delicious wedge of cheese that I've ever tasted.
Pissing Under Mistletoe
In the very beginning of 2019, my friend and I met a bunch of sad boi goth clique type rappers and went back to their apartment. I hooked up with one of them who then passed out real quick. His boys were out in the living room making beats, and I was fucked up and had to pee but was too scared to go out there, so I peed in the dude’s closet on a towel... and dipped real quick at like 5 a.m. when everyone else fell asleep.