Note To Self

MARCUS wears JACKET by HERMÈS.

I want to start with your transition from football to modeling and why it happened when it did.

I was in my last year in the NFL, and I got hurt. I tore my bicep. I was promised to go back to the Pittsburgh Steelers. So when that didn't happen, now I'm in free agency, and I'm dealing with just being in the crib by myself and everything like that. I really went into a dark mental space, bro. I’d never been in a position where shit ain't going my way, as far as being on the team. So, I always had a connection within this boutique store called TONS in Pittsburgh, after practice I would always go there.

Oh yeah, I went to Pittsburgh for the opening of TONS and met the team there.

Oh, so you know all of them? So, I built a relationship with the owner, Lisa, and we actually just started really clicking. So that's while I was playing with Pittsburgh. And while I was building this reputation of an athlete that's interested in fashion, they took me in and kind of made me their brand ambassador for the store. I ended up telling my agent I don't want to do any more workouts, I don't want to go to no teams and try to work out for any teams, because I'm just mentally not in it. I actually had to go through some therapy for like five months to get my mind right for real because I was just mentally out of it. I couldn't play no more, bro. That shit was just anxiety and I was overly depressed. Yeah, so I had to get that shit together. And while I was doing that, Lisa gave me my first QR codes to go to Paris as a representative of TONS boutique store. So I'm out there in Paris and I ended up having a good amount of scheduling to go to all these shows.

Left: MARCUS wears JACKET and PANTS by MARINE SERRE, COAT by PDF CHANNEL, SHOES by CHRISTIAN LOUBOUTIN. Right: MARCUS wears COAT, PANTS and SHOES by PDF CHANNEL, RINGS by VEERT.

So were you modeling for TONS, or were you just a brand ambassador at the time?

I was modeling for them. I was doing little shoots here and there after practice. Like that was my little hobby to do. That's what kind of got me into the high fashion side of things, but I always wanted to do runway because of my sister doing catwalks in high school, and I was in middle school seeing her do that. So it was something that was always in the back of my mind. I was always saying I wanted to model after football, but I just didn't know when.

So it wasn’t looking promising to go back to the team that I love. And me personally, bro, I'm a person that, like, your word is everything, loyalty is everything. But I can't be like that within business, because, you know, business is business. I grew up a Steelers fan. I always wanted to play for the Steelers. I got drafted by the Steelers, and I was gonna die on my shield with the Steelers, yeah. So I ended up saying, fuck it.

I went to Paris, had the connections with TONS, and ended up meeting Guram at the Vetements showroom. And Guram, he fell in love with how tall I was and all that stuff. And I met Alton Mason at that same showroom. So I'm building my own network within the opportunity that TONS gave me to go to these different shows. So that's kind of like how it all sparked off with me meeting Vetements and stuff.

Left: MARCUS wears COAT, VEST, and PANTS by KENZO, NECKLACE and RINGS by VEERT. Right: MARCUS wears COAT, TOP and PANTS by HERMÈS, SHOES by MANOLO BLAHNIK.

Was fashion something you always cared about? Was it always a backup plan, or was it something you got into later on?

I would say I always was into fashion, even when I was playing football, even when I was in high school, growing up. Where I'm from, PG County, Maryland, they'll joan on you if you was looking crazy in school. We had uniforms so it was all about the shoes. Like I’d say my fashion sense came from my friend group, you know. All my friends I grew up with, we kind of educated each other on, like, what's fly and what’s champ. ‘Champ’ is like what’s lame, you know what I mean?

What were you guys wearing?

Man, we was wearing Foamposites. We was wearing all the Jordans. Eleven’s was one of my favorites; Space Jams, Cool Greys. New Balances; 993s, 992s. We was all into shoes, you know what I mean. So that was how it was in high school. But as I got older, I mean, I dibbled and dabbled in different designers.

MARCUS wears JACKET, PANTS, SHIRT and TIE by VOWELS, COAT by LOUIS VUITTON, SHOES by MANOLO BLAHNIK, RINGS by VEERT.

Did your sense of identity change after retiring from the NFL? I imagine it was such a big part of your life.

I would say it didn't change. It kind of magnified who I really am, you know what I'm saying? Like people outside looking in was seeing me as just a football player, or that I had an interest in fashion, but not the level that I really wanted to do it. I always was telling my agent, I want to do real shit outside of football. I was like doing photo shoots and this and that but I never had somebody to be like, “Do it.” They only want to see you worry about football; “Handle everything in football, and then you could do it.” I wasn't a first rounder, you know what I mean? I wasn't a superstar safety in the league to where you can have that amount of space where like football is locked and I could do this other shit. So with me, it was kind of like, just lock in with football. But I still managed to have my own little clothing brand on the side and shit like that. But I would say it was kind of hard to manage fashion and football at the same time. So that's why I had to leave football to put 100% focus on this shit.

Yeah, the freedom now must be nice. I'm curious, what's your day to day like? Do you ever get bored now? I can imagine the training regime must have been crazy. Do you ever be sitting at home like, Damn, I miss it?

I don't ever feel like I miss football, but the only thing I do miss is just the camaraderie that we had with each other in the locker room and shit like that. But a lot of my old teammates are starting to retire so the real world is starting to be like a locker room again. A lot of my friends live out here in Houston that don't play football no more, and we stick together. So that's pretty nice.

Left: MARCUS wears COAT, SHIRT, CARDIGAN, PANTS, SHOES, BELT AND GLASSES by DOLCE & GABBANA, RINGS by VEERT.

Right: MARCUS wears JACKET, PANTS, and SHOES by LOUIS VUITTON, SHIRT by AMI PARIS, RINGS by VEERT, TIE is STYLIST'S OWN.

What surprised you most about the modeling industry? What was the biggest thing to adjust to?

Just the amount of models. Like the amount of models that are all casting and are all in the hopes of being able to walk for this show and to get denied. You know what I mean, just because you may be a little bit bigger, or you may be way too small. I mean, it's all about what that casting director wants, or the brand or the creative director wants. So just being denied by your looks, I had to get over that hump.

How you look, how you walk, how you carry yourself.

Yeah, all that. But it kind of is comparable to football so it made me ready for it.

I was gonna ask, are there attributes and qualities you got from football that you feel have carried over and helped with the modelling?

So, I'll give you an example. Before a game, there's inactives and actives. So I was about to play in one of my first football games my rookie year, and I was on the active list. But they have 20 minutes before the game or something like that to put you on the inactive list if they wanted to put somebody else active. So I go out on warm ups, I come back in and you only know if you’re playing if your helmet is in the locker room. My helmet, my shoulder pads, everything was gone, so I was on the inactive list. That crushed me. I was crying. I had told my family to watch the game. I had told my friends from back home to watch the game. I mean that shit, it humbles you, bro, and then it really makes you feel like, damn, am I worth it? Like, I'm at my dream that I wanted to be at, since a kid always wanted to go to NFL, but am I really living the dream? You know, that's where you start questioning yourself. So to compare it to modeling, I got confirmed to walk in a show before, went to the call time and when I got there, about to get my makeup done and hair done and all that, they say, “I'm sorry, we gave your look up to somebody else.”

You were already in makeup?

They were about to. But honestly, it didn't crush me, like how I did in that field. Because now it's like I'm so used to this shit. Let me call my Uber and go away. I’m gone. I’m going to a nice hotel, bro, I aint tripping.

Left: MARCUS wears COAT, PANTS and SHOES by PDF CHANNEL. Right: MARCUS wears JACKET, PANTS, COAT and TOP by OFFICINE GÉNÉRALE, SHOES by MANOLO BLAHNIK, GLASSES by GENTLE MONSTER.

Who have you walked for now? PDF, KidSuper, is there some I’m missing? Vetements.

Yeah, KidSuper, PDF, Vetements, and I've done something for Gabriel Salcedo. I walked for Nahmias in LA, yeah.

How would you say the thrill of walking a Fashion Week show compares to walking onto the field for an NFL game?

Man, honestly, I love that shit. I love it. I love that shit so much more due to the fact that these are brands that I grew up on, that I love, you know what I'm saying? Like, Vetements, man, I was rocking Vetements in the league. So me walking in it makes it 10 times better, bro, because it's like all eyes on you. The photo that comes out is your look. I mean, your look is going to be remembered forever, if you have a special look, if you kill it. And then it's like the memory of the show. Every show has its own meaning, so it's like a Super Bowl Championship every single time. Like the KidSuper show with the snow coming down, I would never forget it. And I was begging, I was praying, to walk in the show before, when it was the puppets in it. That shit was hard, and I was there watching it. So to walk in that shit, it feels so good, bro.

And Colm’s shows are always such a spectacle in terms of the actual show and the theater of it. It's like, unmatched.

Bro I was getting chills when I was at the puppet one, and Alton, opening it up, doing the theatrical dancing. That shit was crazy, bro. It really gave me chills. So to be able to accomplish that outside of football and get denied, and not feeling no way, and going back to the casting, and then to get confirmed to walk, that was like, one of my favorite moments, I aint gonna lie.

MARCUS wears JACKET, SHIRT and PANTS by ALEXANDER WANG, SHOES by CHRISTIAN LOUBOUTIN, GLASSES by GENTLE MONSTER.

I've heard some people say they black out when they walk. Did that happen to you at all? Like they almost don't remember it happening. 

I don't black out. It's more like tunnel vision. I block out the noise and shit. And I'm overly just locked in on my walk and I know my look gonna kill it. I don't know, I just definitely block out all the noise and it's on some tunnel vision stuff.

Is there someone in the creative world you’re dying to work with?

Honestly, I want to work with Balenciaga. Balenciaga, Rick Owens, Hermès, Thom Browne. These are designers I adore, you know what I mean? And to be able to just walk in shows like that, I feel like would solidify me as, like, one of them ones for sure.