In Search of Heaven
Through exploring substances as products of our own inner worlds, we each gain something — whether it be an reframing of what it means to escape, or an escape that leads to self-actualization. When we see drugs in art, often they're portrayed as signifiers of a greater cultural decline. What is deemed "morally forbidden" in society is often the characteristic of great art. There’s a certain rawness that allows us to connect to these artists in secret. Are vices merely a byproduct of art? Or are they a portal into art itself? In a small coastal city in Northwestern Spain, Galicia, photographer Alba Robbins brings the myths and folklore-like tales surrounding the island into fruition. After heartbreak, or what she deems a personal love crisis, she turned her rumination into capturing the ugly, rejects, imperfections, and the people she photographs who she calls her ‘Gods.’ Robbins doesn't want to patronize or galmorize her surroundings, but instead wants to "make the invisible visible," while capturing a freedom that everyone craves yet never allows themselves to possess.
Why do you call your subjects ‘Gods’?
I call them gods because when you choose someone among people you somehow make him your role model, your god, unconsciously and honestly. It’s not a random election. I choose my gods and photograph them, they represent a part of me and what I want to become as a person. I’ve always seen photography as a narcissistic passion.
Are you a spiritual person?
For sure!
Did taking these photos connect you to a higher sense of being, ie God, universe, high power, etc, whatever you believe in?
I've never thought about it, it's possible! I feel that the more cool photographs I get, the more pieces of me are filling up, as if it were a trivial task that has to be completed to take the next step, it's strange I guess! When I press the button and take the photo at the exact moment, it's like touching the sky.
As she became comfortable with the camera, her work began to gain recognition. She took photos at parties in Galicia, met the characters of her art, traveled, spent time with her friends, and documented her surroundings. In her words, it was ‘a revolutionary act’ to push past the fear of rejection or failure stemming from her adolescent years, and allow herself to be alive for the moment and in the moment.
Robbins covered the mysticism of Galicia, the village festivals and town parties, sometimes lasting a weeklong. She partook in the rituals and traditions where censorship remains low. The area is disconnected from the rest of Spain, allowing drug use to remain steady and the environment to be forgiving. Attributing her Galician roots to her coming of age and confidence to come out, these photos also represent a time of heartbreak and loss, notably after suicide of a close friend due to the paranoia from drugs. The shock and aftermath reminded her that her life is changing and in one moment everything could be different. Instead of living a life that appeased others, these photos were her first artistic venture of individuality and setting herself free of the pressures of her family or overarching societal expectations. Her art became a practice of self actualization and to understand her own reality and what she was meant to do.
Just like the constellations in the sky connecting to form a particular shape, Robbin’s experiences also mimic a trail leading her to a bigger picture of her own existence. She said something that stuck with me discussing the focus of her work, “ I seek to harmonize the people who somehow live in society, but do not have those rights that the individual is promised as legitimate.”
Can you expand on the last part you just said?
“Your parents conceive you for a purpose alien to you. You’re born with an identity alien to you. You grow up and they tell you what to do, stupid things like not falling down playing in the park. You arrive at school and your classmates judge you by your socially accepted beauty, any outfit or hair you innocently wear. You have your first awkward and ephemeral heterosexual relationship because of the social pressure of not being the last virgin of your group of friends.
Suddenly you have to choose what to study for the rest of your life. You already feel the social pressure of choosing a career with job openings if you won’t be a failure. At the moment you are 20 years old , finally you study business administration and labor relations and you have not decided anything in your life, and neither have you felt comfortable just being who you are or who you want to be.
You get to 30 and you conceive of a purpose, your daughter is born with an identity and we start another meaningless life cycle, harmony does not exist.”
