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Juliyen Davis — Tell me about the process of making the album. I know on this album you used Silly Putty and in the past you’ve used a condom to get the sounds you were after. Are you in the studio and there just happens to be Silly Putty in these moments, or are you guys pulling up with a box of crafts to every recording session?
Bri Aronow — Sometimes it's just playing around in the studio. It's hard to pinpoint a clear intention.
Lilia Ramani — I feel like we always get into shenanigans.
What do you hope people feel listening to the album? What do you think about when you listen to it?
LR — The songs in this album give me a warm feeling — it’s upbeat, energetic, light, and not so heady. Maybe that was an intention going in, but who knows? Even if you go in with an intention, how it comes out can be different from how you perceive it and how people process it.
BA — I definitely feel like from the beginning, this was an outdoor album — green and vibrant — as opposed to Ice Melt, which is a pandemic album and much more inside and closed off in a dark room vibes.
A few moments from past tours made their way into the album. What are your favorite memories from past tours?
LR — Just the fact that we've been on tour for so much of our twenties, it makes its way into the music. But this album specifically, three of the singles were Crumb tour lore, “Crushxd”, “The Bug” and “(Alone in) Brussels”.
BA — And it’s funny because “Crushxd” and “The Bug” are seedy and gross moments from touring.
LR — But there's such extreme highs and extreme lows on tour, it makes sense that a song would come out of those emotions.
BA — “The Bug” and “Crushxd” specifically have been around for a really long time. They were really written, or we had attempted to record them, for Jinx and Ice Melt. There’s something about coming to peace with these darker early touring moments. It really feels like we're passing it on in some kind of graduation, or turning a chapter.
You were inspired while on tour but you recorded the songs obviously when you got back and could get into a studio. How do you hold onto those emotions and those moments when you come back together and hit record so long after? Do you try to recapture it or do you embrace how you’re feeling in that moment of reflection?
BA — There's something that's preserved from the moment for sure. Even for a live set, we play songs from 2016 through now. There’s something about those that’s stuck in the past.
How do you feel getting ready for another tour soon?
LR — We haven't done a tour directly after putting out an album before, which is exciting because we'll be propelled immediately into playing the thing live. But I feel like our past two European tours have had a lot of bad luck, so honestly I'm cautiously excited. We've never toured there in the summer, so that'll make it fun.
BA — Yeah, this one's a little different because we're playing a lot of festivals outside.
How do you find comfort while on tour?
BA — It's nice to have a day off to chill in the park, be outside, and eat some good food. I like a good bowl of soup.
Do you have a go-to gas station order while on tour?
BA — Gas stations in Texas are wild.
LR — Yeah, have you ever been to Buc-ee’s? They're only in Texas. They're like malls and they have everything. Also, we dipped our toes into Taco Bell last tour, which was a first for me. I was really anti Taco Bell but if you have to choose between McDonald's and Taco Bell, sometimes Taco Bell wins.
Summer break was my favorite time growing up and this album brought me back there. And in a way this is another one you guys don’t get off, but how would you spend it if you did? Did you have a favorite summer break activity growing up?
LR — I was never a camp person. I hated camp. I would go for a week and then call my mom asking her to pick me up. I went to a Christian music camp once that was particularly crazy. I think that scared me off for good. But I don't know what I was doing. I was just in the city.
BA — I also hated camp. Honestly, I liked being outside, just swimming and hiking and that kind of thing. Now I love going to the beach, sitting in parks and walking around the city.
You both grew up in NY, right? Were ice cream trucks a thing there?
LR — They definitely used to be way more prevalent, but they're still around.
What was your order?
BA — Choco Taco.
LR — I would do a vanilla cone, no sprinkles.
Is there anything you’re longing for?
LR — I want to unplug from the city and be in nature and not on my phone and see what that does to my brain. I haven't left the city in a while.
BA — Lila wrote about craving home and stability and connection for the album. That was a thread that a bunch of us were feeling and have been manifesting the last few years. We are much more secure in our homes and ourselves than we were a few years ago. This is the first winter in a while where I've been in the city. Something about it feels really nice because I've been wanting to be in one place for a long time, but now it feels like it’d be nice to step away.
I love the “AMAMA” video, it feels like such a special moment. Did your grandma get a chance to see it?
LR — My aunt said that she was gonna play it for her, but I need to follow up on that. She’s in her 90s, lives in Malaysia and has pretty bad dementia — she kind of lives life on a loop in her own world. It’s kind of funny that she became the center of the album and she's not even aware, but it also makes perfect sense.
My grandpa's got Alzheimer's. It’s tough.
LR — It's crazy though because songs are some of the only things she remembers. She still randomly sings songs from her childhood.
It makes me think of how certain smells bring up memories no matter how deep they're buried. It’s kind of magical how music just sticks with you.
I was looking at the album artwork. Is it a quilt?
LR — It's loosely inspired by these Afghan handmade rugs that Abe, our creative director, and I have always been fans of. They tell stories and folklore. And I guess this was the album version of that.
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I know that your stage name stemmed from your Instagram handle, but why Siiickbrain? What does that mean to you?
I had a past of dealing with a lot of things with my mental health. At the time, I thought, 'Oh, it's a funny play on words,' because I'm sick in the head, or whatever. But it also played into the way I showed myself on the internet at the time, I wanted to embody this 'cool' persona.
I also think there's something about humor in processing things like that. Do you feel that you as Caroline and Siiickbrain are one and the same? How do you feel that you've transformed since your days before you started pursuing music, as a person but also as an artist?
It's been a huge transition. I have the opportunity to really be who I am in the city. I think Siiickbrain as an artist and Caroline as a person, they used to be so different and far in between. But now I feel like there are so many crossovers between them. Dropping this project that is so vulnerable as Siiickbrain definitely feels like there's a big crossover between my personal self, Caroline, and the artist. Of course, there's always a crossover between those personas in my music. But I always have thought of myself as more of a soft and vulnerable person. So in the past, when I've done some of my harder music with screaming and stuff, it's like I'm letting the character be that hardcore, confident type of person, rather than Caroline.
You worked as a makeup artist and you also have experience modeling. Have you always felt like creative expression, no matter what form it is, comes really naturally for you?
Absolutely. I don't feel like I'm happy or fulfilled unless I'm creatively expressing myself in some way, at all times. Even with modeling, of course, that's a creative way to express myself, but during that time period, I was writing a lot of poetry.
Did any of that poetry end up becoming songs that we've heard?
Of course. That was originally my way of getting into writing music.
And as far as writing and the whole process that you took with this EP, it's a new sonic approach — a fully acoustic project. It's kind of like a different side of your sound. Why did you decide to tap into that?
I honestly always wanted to, but my last project was really production-heavy. Even vocally, there was a lot of vocal production and screaming. It kind of took away from what I was saying, even though everything that I said was very thought out and purposeful. This time around, I took my time with the lyricism and I wrote it in a different way than I typically would. I wrote everything in my room. I just could really tap into the vulnerability and I just wanted to strip it down and show people who I really am. And I hope that other people can relate to those feelings as well.
How does that depart from how you've written tracks and worked on projects in the past?
So in the past, basically, I would just go to the studio and tell my producer how I'm feeling. We'd create a beat and write to it, as opposed to just me writing to a guitar. So it was definitely a more intimate process.
Some of your previous tracks and projects address certain things from your past, certain traumas and experiences you unpack. But this is a more gentle sound. Do you think that, thematically, the lyrics and even the production reflect that softness as well?
Absolutely. I was going through a lot of life changes during this time as I wrote this project. I think it's a little bit more of a grown-up sound and it's more digestible for a larger audience.
Has that softness and gentleness found its way into your lifestyle as well?
Absolutely. I think that it's important to be really thoughtful with everything that you're doing instead of getting caught up in the whirlwind of things. Life is so precious and I've always said that and felt that way, but I think that it's easy to fall back into the chaos of everything in life, especially as a musician. Taking a moment and writing this music from a quiet and thoughtful place is new for me.
It's almost harder to slow down and be intentional about life. It takes more thought. What do you think is the most unexpected song on this project and why?
I think that, honestly, the whole project is a little bit surprising just in terms of the delivery and the lyricism. I think the song 'When You're Not Mine’ is definitely very vulnerable as opposed to the badass, confident type of girl that I felt I was during my other projects.
It's cool that you found a balance with that as well. You can still be that badass person, but the softness and the gentleness can live with that as well.
It's important as an artist and as a person to be able to be who I want to be. It's just so human to have very different emotions and I think that it's important to express all of those emotions in my own ways.
And I'm sure that's very relatable for other people who feel like they have these conflicting things inside of them as well. I've seen your sound described in so many different ways, even in ways that may juxtapose each other. I've seen hyperpop fused with alt-rock, to a mixture of alt-pop and metal. I think that your sound kind of exists in this realm that doesn't have a label. It's its own thing. Do you feel empowered by existing in that liminal space and being able to tap into all different sounds and influences?
Giving myself the freedom to do all of this stuff is really important. I don't like feeling tied to a genre, but I do feel very inspired by other artists like Yung Lean or XXXTentacion, I just admire people who still let their personality shine through, even as the artist. It can all coexist together.
You've also gotten to work with some artists that you have looked up to and some people that you grew up listening to. Do you have any other artists that you look up to that would be like a dream collab at this moment?
I would love to work with the Deftones. And Death Grips as well. Or even a softer artist would be really cool, like Phoebe Bridgers. I'm very open to working with a lot of different people. But I've never really worked with anyone that I don't have a personal relationship with. I feel like making music is so vulnerable and I know that there's a lot of people out there. Not to say that this is wrong in any way, but there are a lot of people out there who are like, 'Oh, I want to work with this person, or I want to work with that person.' But music is such a vulnerable thing and so personal that, for me, it's hard to get in the studio with someone that you don't already know personally on that level.
Do you have a favorite track from this project and what's the story around it?
My favorite track from this project honestly changes pretty often. I have two songs, ‘Headspace’ and ‘Dizzy Spells,’ that are about learning to live life after losing someone really close to you. My best friend and someone that I have a past with romantically passed away in 2020 and that's ultimately what pushed me to start creating music and releasing it. Life is so short and his passing was so random and unexpected. That pushed me and these two songs are about that person. And, specifically, ‘Dizzy Spells,’ which is the song that I named the project after. That song is about learning to love someone again after losing someone that you loved.
Had that been a therapeutic process for you?
Music really saved me. I feel like I could have gone down a very different path if I didn't have music to slow me down. Writing is so cathartic and definitely makes me think through all of my emotions and rationalize everything. It helps me to understand myself better.
Your style is also very individualistic. I think it's just as abstract and esoteric as your sound. What's your approach to getting dressed? Who or what do you channel?
I honestly love just doing things that I haven't seen before. I like to remain very individual when it comes to my style, but I definitely feel as though I like to channel the darker, sexy side of who I am as a person. A lot of the time, I do wear things that wouldn't be necessarily deemed as sexy though [Laughs]. I don't know, I just have fun with it and I try not to limit myself. I like to be experimental and my stylist and I are extremely collaborative. I want to be a trendsetter in that way.
Going back to what we talked about earlier, when you think about the persona of Caroline and then the persona of Siiickbrain, do you feel like when you get dressed, those two personas converge stylistically?
I think that they definitely come together when it comes to style. I don't feel that there's a huge difference except that Caroline probably just wears sweats all the time.
I was going through previous interviews that you had done and there was a quote that stuck with me and I wanted to pull that into our conversation. You've said that you don't believe that good art requires pain. I agree. I think it's hard to understand as an artist who's maybe just first approaching their craft because it’s a common trope that we're taught. But you said that something you think that good art does require is truth. What is your truth right now, in this moment?
What characterizes me and my perspective currently is probably just stripping things down — even in life. I'm in this space where I just want to be very protective of myself.
Does it feel like a new chapter for you?
Yeah, I definitely feel like I'm growing up. I've been going through phases where I feel like I'm growing up, but I think that this phase is one that really shows through my music. I'm truly being more mindful and making decisions that could be scary, big changes. But ultimately it's what's best for me.