Do you think you’ve always felt that since the beginning of doing this? Or is it something that you've come to recently?
I think I've come to more of an understanding of it. I didn't know what it was when I was younger. You just don't know, and then you suddenly realize what you're trying to achieve while you’re doing it. You meet people that are young artists and they're doing great work but they have no idea where it's going to go and they're being told they're amazing so then it's really really hard to change and do something totally different. Look at Damien Hirst right now doing these massive flower paintings on these pieces of canvas and he's just launching paint at it and they're so amazing to me! The energy! I wasn’t a huge fan of his sharks, but to go from putting animals in formaldehyde to doing these crazy paintings … I love that he just jumps every which way. It is interesting when an artist can constantly create what they want to do and not look for someone's approval of what it is. That's the hardest part of art, everyone's looking for approval. You want someone to say that they like it ...
Yeah totally! That's also why I was asking about nostalgia. I think people have this almost obsession right now with “back in the good old days, or back before this … ” I think sometimes people look back with a sort of yearning.
I said this the other day, because my wife and I were talking. Someone asked me the question, “If you could go back in time what would you change about yourself? And I said,”nothing.” Because if I did, I wouldn't be here. Everything that's brought me to this point in my life has been for a reason. The good, the bad, it's allowed me to be who I am. If my parents didn't get divorced when I was five, if I didn't go to New York City to go to art school, if I hadn't met my wife. There are a million different things that bring you to a point of where you are. It's all the little things. You can't create them and you can't go back and change them, because it's those little clicks that make you who you are ...
... The only thing I have that I would be nostalgic about would be my health. The advice would be to take better care of myself, you know, but I didn't. And maybe that's why I do what I do now, I mean maybe those are all part of it also.
Right, that's a really good answer, I don't think a lot of people feel that way.
Well yeah! They all look back and act like somehow they weren't in control of their lives to create what they wanted to. That could be very possible depending on how you were raised and what you did and what inspired you. You could be in high school and everything's going to shit, nothing's happening and you have a bad home life, but you're creative and you want to figure out what it is ...
... Be open as you go through life, be open to things that come out of nowhere. It's easier to get up every day and be comfortable in every action you do. To do something that you're uncomfortable doing, those little changes in your life will then make your life more interesting.
Yeah. I had a very similar conversation with my brother last night who suffers from a lot of mental health issues and he's having a really hard time. He feels stuck and we were talking about how the only way out of it doing new scary stuff.
Yeah! Changing your routine. He needs to shift routine, constantly, just give himself something new. If he always walks to class every single day in the same direction, try walking in a different way. It's a point of doing those simple things to start breaking your brain. I've been going through the same thing right now. I've had my knee replaced, and I am having a lot of problems with it. I am so tied down, and I look at my wife some days, and tell her “I am so depressed. I don't know what to do and I'm just frustrated and it's upsetting to me.” But then I have to ask myself, “what can I do to make it different today?” ...
.. In mental health I think that's a problem. There's a routine and people get into the routine in their heads and they get sucked down. I've dealt with it. I have a lot of friends that have dealt with it. It's really about doing something different. Just start giving yourself “little daily things to do something different.” If you always do something a certain way, try something else. Try your coffee in a new way, sleep a new way, maybe stay up all night and then start the day. There's a million different ways! And see how your body feels and how everything starts to shift. Your brain will go with you
What are the biggest obstacles or struggles you’ve faced? Have you ever been in a rut or not had anything that inspires you?
Well, that goes back to the conversation of mental health, which is basically the same thing. It's the feeling of frustration because you can't seem to get to where you want to go. It’s the same thing with mental health. When I have those times where I don't know what to do...
I just have to do something else or just start throwing things around. When Ralph Steadman can't draw, he takes his brush and he just throws a blob of ink onto it and sees what comes. He’ll see something's there, start playing with it and then something comes out of it. It's the same thing as changing your routine. If you sit there and fight with it, nothing will come from it. You can't force yourself to be creative. It's not like other things where you force yourself through it. It doesn't really work that way.