What have you learned about yourself this year?
Identity. I am nonbinary. That was a huge one, learning and understanding my identity truly transpired into much more. Personally, I believe identity is sacred. It’s one of those things we as individuals have that we can hold as 100% our own. I learned I like being loud, I actually fucking love being aggressively present. Being called "it" as an insult due to my "confusing" fluidity. Having "too much" shoved in my face. I learned you can transform an insult into what makes you so fucking beautifully YOURSELF. I learned those two things: identity & taking up space. They're lovers in the emotional plane. I hooked them up together and they have been in love with each other since the first kiss.
What do you do?
23 years on this Earth and all I do is fight and smoke cigarettes. As far as for keeping my lights on, I started modeling two years ago. In the beginning, I most definitely did not take it seriously. It was fun, but I never fully believed the world was ready for me. I fought for my peace and existence living in a small east Texas town who refused to accept me or my self expression for years. I got signed as a model last year, but there is absolutely no rest for the wicked. I fight hard for my place in the world where all eyes are on you and a lot of brands choose who doesn't "belong." I fight for the outcasts within the outcasts. I am a body modification artist. I fight for people's right to express themselves. I write. I paint. I create. I cry. I scream. Some will say, "I am effortlessly That Bitch." I respect and love that. However, I fight to be That Bitch every single day not only for a check but to be truly alive.
Minimalism or Maximalism?
MAXIMALISM. I want people to experience all five senses of me. Maybe not taste, we're in a pandemic after all.
Escapism or realism?
Escapism. I often fight between the two because I adore the fact that you can flirt with fantasy... oftentimes it can get you in trouble when you are in a relationship with reality. It works better if you can maintain a polyamorous approach. At least I've heard, I haven't asked if they'd be into that yet.. fingers crossed!
What icons have influenced your practice/work ?
Icons to me range everywhere on the spectrum of bad bitch. The fab homeless woman I see next to the train station everyday who never repeats a look or allows her misfortunes to define her fierceness.. or her sharp ass lip liner. The fourteen year old kid wearing perfectly blended eyeshadow and tight jeans walking a 5 foot distance from their homophobic parents, ashamed of their talented child that should be wearing a football uniform instead. The shy group of alternative girls who don't think they aren't "Goth Gf" material because the illusion of followers clouds their confidence and worth. The black girl wearing her 4c pattern crown accompanied with vividly bright clothes and makeup just to the bodega. My accepting father, the black sheep of 12 heavily-baptist children who will steam his satin button-downs and pleat his pants perfectly while blasting Metallica just for a beer run trip to Walmart. My crazy ass mother, the hippie free-spirit surf instructor who allowed me to be whatever I wanted to be, which got me bullied, but also gave me the rage I have today to fight back. My otherworldly partner, who wears their non-gender conforming expression as royal, tattooed regalia. All of these people, these actual people who think they aren't seen, those are icons. They influence my work because when I look at them, they are a reflection of myself. I was the fab homeless woman 2 years ago, sleeping in our Kia Soul, but I damn sure had eyeliner to my edges each day. I was the gay kid who did have supportive parents but did have pure Hell and judgement everywhere else. I am those shy girls who still struggle with self-worth. I am the black person who is proud of their skin, proud of not following stereotypes. I am my extra ass father and my bad ass mother. I am my partner who stands solid in who I am. In this digital world, we as humans create and control our stage/spotlight. With that, we create anything. We are honestly, truly, all icons. Heroes, muses, famous, etc.
How do your internal fantasy worlds influence your external reality?
So, the throuple I got going on with fantasy, reality, and myself is actually going well. Growing up an only child, my imagination has always been a huge part of my brain and my life. In another sense, I perceive this really as manifestations. My internal fantasies are my manifestations and my external reality my personal successes.
