The Possession of Saint Sebastian: Evanora:Unlimited
office — Tell me about what happened in the woods. How’d you come across that house? What were you feeling when you first started filming? At what point do you remember the energy shifting?
Orion — The two primary scenes were shot in two different wooded locations — the one of me bloody and tied to a tree was shot in Berlin 2023 in the woods of Tegelersee, a few feet away from a famous tree known as Dicke Marie the oldest tree in Berlin (which unfortunately was too thick to tie me to). The other primary scene with the chainsaws, lake, and woodchopping was shot in Mendocino, California at my friend Angus’s (who shot the video) stepfather’s cabin which we used as a getaway in 2022 to work on projects. Both had very pure wholesome energy as usual. This might be just me and maybe from a 3rd person perspective it's different, but I take pride in knowing that, no matter how crazy or dark I make something, no matter the amount of horror, guns, blood, and gore, there is still some sort of wholesome undertone. That also felt true for this shoot. But I didn't feel any shift in energy until specifically finishing the shot of me tied to the tree, as we walked out of the dark woods to where we could call an Uber home.
What do you think happened to you? Possession? Accidental rituals?
What happened still remains a mystery to me. It felt like a form of possession or accidental invocation of some sort of force, but I can't fully comprehend or explain it. It was a moment of profound disorientation and loss of control. A little bit of half and half. I definitely think I did some sort of something, not a ritual but just something that put further power, belief, and whatnot into the work and its meanings to me. Possession is a little bit of a reach, but it’s really the only word I can use to describe the experience.
You say martyrdom is a throughline for your work — can you talk about that?
Martyrdom has been important to me and my work because it represents sacrifice, suffering, and a willingness to endure pain or persecution for a greater belief or cause. Conscious or not, I feel that’s an important part of all human experience in different ways. It would be important to quickly explain the basic plot of Evanora:Unlimited to clarify this specifically in relation to the project.
“Evanora:Unlimited” is not a person, but an anomalous unknown power or energy. It’s the overall cinematic world and bigger picture. The current focal character in this world is my secondary project, Marjorie W.C Sinclair, who is an accentuated version of my true self and a shapeshifting amalgamation of my life and past lives. Marjorie is a sort of anti-hero Tony Montana or Tetsuo from Akira archetype character — some weak kid who has found or been taken over by some sort of energy or power. They’re on a lifelong self-destructive voyage in search of “understanding Evanora,” trying to gain control of it and find enlightenment and peace. They gracefully spiral in a slow-motion car crash toward a tragic fate and loss of all they love, as they quickly begin to lose control of this unknown force. The project and its plot are very much an analogy of my real-life beliefs, fears, delusions, and experiences — myself being the weak protagonist character, later to have a power inside them awaken changing everything. Just like Marjorie chasing Evanora, or Tetsuo chasing Akira, I myself will also spend the rest of my life on an endless journey for understanding and control of “Evanora.”
Evanora, simply put, is the fundamental power of belief and universal programming that all life possesses within. It lays dormant, but when activated and harnessed, it can be a nuclear reactor of energy to be directed. Yet, even when careful, this energy has the possibility to grow into something far beyond control. A personal and literal example of this “power awoken” could simply be the ability that I've gained via therapy through my projects — turning my fears, insecurities, pain, and mistakes into positivity and strengths. My projects have changed my life and bestowed me with all I could ask for and experiences I could have never imagined — even just simple things like love, self-love, confidence, happiness, freedom, etc.
However as I see the puzzle pieces of my life and story align and signs and symbols appear, I often have this strong sinking feeling of impending doom — that my path and my dreams hold a tragic end with a watery hell awaiting me in place of its fantasy. That the dark Scarface-esc ending story I'm writing for myself is pre-written & has never been in my control. As what I create grows beyond my control, It will engulf me in its inescapable growing nuclear flames just as it’s done to so many throughout history much stronger than myself. I’ve come to terms with it more but at times I still can get completely consumed by this feeling, with a strong premonition and every feeling in my gut telling me that I should quit while I'm ahead. However, the chance at life I've been blessed with is one in a billion, and I know that I have an opportunity beyond the art, a possibility to build something bigger than myself, to build a platform of genuine resources, connections, and wealth that I can spread to others to build further upon and share, creating a butterfly effect of change on larger scales; to give voice to others to tell stories and show visions of worlds unseen with beauty that brings me to tears — that I wish for the world to know but may never be. I think it would be an absolutely selfish waste of life and blessing for me to give up on this path just because the road ahead might be dark. It’s what I chose and I will endure anything that comes with it and if it takes dying and losing everything I love behind the dream, so be it, but hopefully not lol.
Before filming "No Country", what was the writing process? Walk me through the lyrics.
The writing process was just kind of spontaneous and unplanned as usual. I mostly start by writing things as poems with no instrumental — just a cadence in my head left to sit in my notes, sometimes for years. I’ll later separately create a production and the pieces will snap together and make perfect sense exactly when they are meant to.
Lyrics:
“Trust me, the candles won't burn very long”
A reminder warning that a flame, just like everything else, won't burn forever.
“Lusting for a life after tasting her”
Expressing desire to have a life after loss of the sweetness you grew accustomed to
“No country for old men let them die alone”
Could be taken different ways, but I think I initially wrote it in the sense of ‘when I'm no longer young and beautiful will you still love me?’ like Lana Del Rey
“A machine celebrating anything at all”
Pretty straightforward — the human machine senselessly celebrating at every chance they get.
“Plum trees, she can’t tell summer from the fall”
Apples and Oranges
“The sun bleeds, reflecting something very wrong”
Red flags all around
Were you religious / spiritual before filming? Has that changed since then?
I don't think my views have really changed since the experience, but I’ve definitely always been both spiritual and religious – everything and nothing type beat, you feel me? You name it, I believe there’s some truth in it.
Prior to this, have you ever had any paranormal / unexplainable experiences?
Absolutely. I have had a lot of paranormal experiences and unexplainable ones. I mean, just waking up is unexplainable. But yeah the apartment I live in currently with my partner actually seems like a hotbed for this kind of shit. I feel like it would be insensitive to get into specifics, but a previous resident of our apartment died inside the house and it’s still completely full of his belongings. I don’t know if this has anything to do with it at all, but everyone who has spent time in our apartment has felt some spirit or energy is still in the house. There’s also a specific corner of the apartment that often has strange anomalies — that’s also specifically where I had my exorcist moment.
How are you coping now? Do you still feel that same unease or has it subsided?
Initially, I felt like the experience was negative. But after my research and with time passing I've come to feel that it actually was something positive and protective.
If you could communicate with whatever possessed you, what would you say?
“Im finna hit the store rite quick you want anything?” I don’t know, probably force it to listen to some music I’ve been working on or some dumb shit.
