It's Women's History Month, so we're showing some serious love from home to our favorite female artists. Pass the time at your casa, and share it with your cat, your plant and your friends on FaceTime.
How'd you get into making music?
I moved here to be an actor. I was in acting school and then I went to Basement and I gave up everything. I just wanted to make Techno. I was DJing a lot during the pandemic with my brother. I was pretty good at soccer when I was younger so that was all I did. I thought nothing of it but I always knew I wanted to do music. I would paint a lot. And then when I was in college, I was like, ‘I know this is what I really want to do, I'm just too scared and I want to make money.’
And then it was just inevitable that I couldn't do that anymore. I wanted to be more immersed in art. And so acting I really liked because it allowed me to get away from that toxic masculinity shit. And then it led to music. And it's always been that. I just didn't want to believe it and I didn't think I was good enough. I think that just came from… I don’t know… shame, guilt.
Is acting something you'd want to explore again down the line?
I don't know. I don't think so. I did really enjoy doing theater. Doing theater in front of a hundred, two hundred people, it's kind of like DJing. You're just fully free. You're in a flow state. Everything is in your control. People only know you make a mistake if you show them. Even if you fuck up lines…
You can just roll with it.
Yeah, nobody knows. I just feel like it's changed so much, you have to really play the game. I feel like in acting, you have to be able to model. You have to be good on social media, you have to have a TikTok and do cool videos or you have to come from nepotism. The hurdles are so much stronger because big studios are not doing independent movies anymore. They can't take those risks so that fucks a lot of people. I didn't love it enough to keep doing that. With music it's like, ‘I'll just do this forever and whatever happens, happens.’
How did doing the music for the Willy Chavarria show come about?
I was making a lot of music. I wasn't putting a lot of it out. Same as when I would act on stage, I wouldn't look at it, I wouldn't ever watch myself. When I make music, I just don't want to hear it because I don't think it's good enough. But I made some stuff, I sent it to some people, I put it out. And then my friend, Lennon hit me up and was like, “Hey, I'm going to throw your name in the hat.”
For the Willy show?
Yeah, and Willy liked it and then I met him and it kind of just came from that. He's from Fresno, which is about an hour and a half from where I'm from. Both outcasts from a small ass town in Central California trying to do cool shit, trying to find an escape, trying to figure out what your purpose is. And we just really got along. And so there was a lot of pressure, like good pressure to make good music, fast. And I was making a lot of good music really fast, which was a really great feeling. So I think he saw that.
And he's such a warm, welcoming guy which I'm sure helped. You said he's been like a father figure to you.
I would say he's been like a mentor. That's probably a better way to put it because he's someone who just shows love through his art and I feel like right now a lot of people are super opportunistic to get to where they need to be. Which is understandable I guess because it's New York and there's a hustle and stuff. Part of the reason I love Techno is because it's undefined and I really believe if you just put everything into it, like he's done with his fashion, good things will happen eventually. If you have a smile on your face, you're good to people, you build a community. He's built a community and that's why people love him.
What was it like working with him and the team?
It was super nice. I worked with another guy, Jess.
Jess Cuevas?
Yeah, who is his Art Director. Amazing. We would share House music playlists all the time with each other. Normally I play Techno and I don't usually make House, even though they're not really too far from the same. So we would get along just sharing ideas, cool things we liked. They would ask for my ideas of what I think about the film; some cuts, the score.
Did you do the score for the video?
Yeah, I did the score for the film and the soundtrack for the runway. What was cool too was on the last day they were like, “can we change something?” And they lowkey wanted me to change half the song and it really tested me. So I changed it all to this drum sequence that I made in 30 minutes and I was really happy with myself. That's what ended up being used in the show. They asked me to do it three hours before and it kind of worked out perfectly.
Was there an element of having to do something outside of your normal style and taste to accommodate what they wanted?
It was kind of harmonious because the House music they like is real House music in my opinion. Willy lived in San Francisco and there was a huge House scene there in the 90s, early 2000s. So they would listen to the stuff I like, I’d listen to stuff they like. We were trying to find a nice fusion while also catering to the scene they wanted to build but also still embodying Willy and myself. So it was pretty seamless, which I appreciated because I've never done anything in fashion like that.
What was the initial discussion like?
I remember Willy was like, “I want this music to hit someone in their lower chakra.” Like right in someone’s stomach so they could feel it and have an emotional response to it. And that's what I love is giving people that emotional response, giving people that feeling in a natural way rather than in a forced way. So it was like an evolution throughout everything, which is how I like to DJ. I like to build a story. I don't like to plan my sets. I like to be spontaneous. So I feel like it was really spontaneous, which I do well with and it's kind of how they live their life. So that was cool.
Tell me about the project you're working on, the EP.
I think I have 50 tracks, so I'm going to probably put six together.
You said ‘six’?
Yeah, six tracks out of the fifty.
Damn.
I make everything live. So normally nowadays when you make music, you put it into arrangement, you kind of make a formula and then you can fix all of the levels. Like I said, I love Techno because it's very spontaneous, it's undefined. So I plug in everything the way I want, how it used to be made where you just had machines, and then I just make it live. So sometimes I make a lot of mistakes. Sometimes they're good mistakes.
Is this the first extended project you're releasing?
So it's kind of in between an extended project and a long project. A year or two ago I just threw like ten songs into the ether but there was no real direction. But now there's an intention. Now there's a mind state, almost like a strategy. I would make art just to make it because I thought an artist should just be free.
But as I've met and listened to more people that I respect I feel that the way to respect the art is to have somewhat of a plan in the way you want to execute your vision. You know, you write it down, you build a story. With me, I want to make things that sound futuristic because that's what I think Techno has always been. Even now, it's kind of been a bit bastardized with EDM Techno and stuff. So I really want to bring those elements in a way that feels rebellious, kind of militaristic.
You talked about wanting to build a community around good music. Why is that something that's so important to you and how do you go about building it?
I think it's just by being a good person, doing good things. I feel like music, I feel like art in general has become very singular of ‘me, me, me'. And when it comes to music, it's about building a community, it's about sharing it with others, it's about doing it together with other people. How lonely that must be to just be so egotistical, to want it all for yourself.
So sometimes I'm thinking of how to help my friends before myself. I have some amazingly talented friends so I always feel like I want to showcase them as much as I want to showcase myself. We all want to be validated in some way, right? But I also think nowadays we want to be validated too soon. There's a process. I moved here not knowing one person in New York, almost three years ago, and now we have one of the biggest events this weekend.
But I think it’s also easy to see why people want validation so quickly because living in New York, you really can do incredible things in your first few months here. I guess maybe an entitlement settles in.
Even three years is pretty quick.
Yeah, it's nothing.
Even how I got Willy was pretty quick. I guess I like to think Willy has a high standard and if I was shit, he would've told me. I think as we all try to be better in life and try to make better things, we have to hold each other accountable. I feel like a lot of us want to do stuff so that we can tell other people we did it, but how many of us are actually doing things because we want to do it for ourselves. I think it's kind of trendy to be an artist right now, and I don't think you can just choose to be that. It's like a lifestyle you have to embody and you have to have a huge appetite for suffering for that. So if you can do that, you'll find the others. A lot of people playing this event are people I believe in, people that do make good music, that care, and eventually that just grows organically.
Has your mindset toward music changed from when you first moved to New York, in terms of it being purely an art form versus feeling like you need to make money out of it?
That is a crazy thought. I think about it a lot because my parents are immigrants. They moved here with no money. I want to change that generational gap for my kids. My parents had jobs, and we had a home in central California. They're a huge success. I want to use what they've given me and take it to another level. So of course I want to make money with my art, but I also believe that you have to not care to make money and just do good work over and over again. The universe will give you what you want as long as you don't pursue it for the wrong reasons. It might happen tomorrow, it might happen twenty years from now. You almost got to relinquish yourself from that control.
But it's hard. I'm married, I want to take care of my family. I could have pursued the money after college and made a lot of money working in finance and stuff, but that's just not the life I wanted. This is the life I've chosen and I feel like it's always been what's meant for me. I think it's normal some days to be like, ‘yo, what the fuck am I doing?’ You should always be checking yourself no matter what you're doing.
Do you still feel like the energy of New York is driving you to do this or it's something else driving you to do it at this point?
I feel like there's a bit of this manic feeling of trying to be something in New York. I mean, I'm still here. I still love New York for what it is. Obviously I want to be playing more, obviously I want to be doing more things in New York, but I just got to make stuff for myself. What drives me is myself. What drives me is this desire to be perfect, knowing it won't happen but also letting that be what pushes me to keep going, to try new things, to be adventurous, fearless. I think you just got to be fearless. You have one life to live. There's no rules, just be a good person. Try things. I would not be in this position if I didn't just try things and just say ‘yes’ and learn.
"My good friend and incredibly talented actor, Jakholbi Murry, (pictured above with the wings) was the first person I had in mind for the video. I immediately had a strong visual of him from the moment the song came to life. Harrison and I really built the whole world around his character first. He was the starting piece to the whole visual aspect."
"Here’s Jakholbi again with a live dove. In the film, his character is struck in the chest by this dove and eventually grows wings of his own. He is supposed to represent getting infiltrated with pain, redefining it, holding it close to you, and growing from it."
"Me in the void. We wanted to create a kind of liminal space where the characters all meet for the first time and represent the commonality of everyone being desperate for an escape, understanding, and relief in what they are experiencing."
"Audrey Venable (pictured above kneeled in front of the statue) was another strong character we had in mind for this shoot. There is a lyric in the song “Born In Early May” that says “the heroes they will say, now you’re done for good” - in the short film her character is seen constructing her own idol and it eventually burns before her eyes. She is supposed to represent how humans will always let each other down, and how putting people on pedestals can often be harmful."
"Josh Jardim (pictured above) was the second visual I had when I first made the song “Born In Early May.” Each character is seen levitating in their own spaces. I wanted to use this imagery to convey how tiring hardships can be but how much relief can come with complete surrender to life and what’s unknown."
"Audrey and I holding each other’s heads during “Special”. During the lyric “the words that you said, they stuck with me” we put our foreheads together and sink down onto our knees. Kind of meant as an “I see you and I hear you” moment."
"The graves. Also the opening and closing shots. Meant to represent the life and death that comes from suffering. Everyone in the world experiences intense pain at one point or another, we are all born and we all die, together we are one. It’s up to us to have understanding for each other and to work through the ugly parts together. Without love and grace for one another, we are nothing."
What inspired you to begin making music?
I was rapping in 2020 and 2021. I cut off all of my friends, so I didn’t have anybody to talk to. So I just started rapping to talk. I was rapping about stuff that was going on in my life. I didn’t have anybody to share it with. I’m still best friends with my best friend, but I don’t want to harass my best friend every day. I don’t feel like calling someone every day. I never really had anybody to talk to on a consistent basis, so it’s more like a journal.
Was music-making a pandemic hobby, or something you’ve always wanted to do?
I was producing for a long time before I started rapping. So once the pandemic hit, I started thinking about what I wanted to do when I was a little kid. I wanted to perform, dance, and do these things that I forgot about. Subconsciously, I tapped back into those to see how it goes.
Do you still produce your songs?
Yeah. I still produce some of them, but not all of them. I’d say 50 percent of what I put out now is produced by me.
And how do you combine those? You said you cut your friends off, so do most of your lyrics stem from experiences, or anything that comes to mind?
It’s a feeling of knowing I’m going to rap today. If I have a studio session, I’ll ask myself how I’m feeling; do I need to boost my confidence up? Do I need to rap about how I’m that bitch? Am I going through something in my relationship? Is family stuff going on? I don’t want to be too personal (on the song), but still apply that feeling into the song. It’s always about how I feel.
How long does it usually take you to write a song?
I don’t write. I freestyle everything.
What are some of your favorite songs or projects, and why?
Forrest Gump. That’s one of my favorite releases. There are a lot of songs from a lot of different time periods in my life. The oldest song was like, a year old, and the newest song was a week old. There are a lot of different moods. I know exactly what I was feeling when I made every song on it.
Do beats come first, or the lyrics?
If I’m making a beat myself, then the melody comes first, then the lyrics, then the drums. But if somebody else is making the beat, then the beat comes first.
Who are some of your favorite collaborators so far?
Brent Rambo. I used to tweet at him all the time on Twitter when I was producing. I would ask him to listen to my beats. I was on tour and he was backstage and knew me. We linked up the next day and made the song. When we finally met, it was really natural. Old me would’ve been proud of that.
How was your last tour opening for Veeze and what were some of your favorite cities?
The tour was cool. I’d say my favorite cities were San Francisco, Chicago, and Detroit.
What’s your favorite thing about performing?
The anxiety. I don’t know how the crowd will perceive me, especially on the tour, because a lot of people didn’t know who I was. I would get super anxious, but I kind of liked it, I’m not gonna lie.
Do you care how people perceive you?
I care. I’m not going to pretend like I don’t. I do care. I know certain songs are more tailored to certain cities. In New York and New Jersey, I could perform Jersey Club for my entire set and they’ll love it. But if I go to the West Coast, they’ll want more of a chill, laid back vibe with less hype music.
Who are some artists you want to collaborate with?
Stevie Wonder. I love him. I need to hurry up and become famous so he can notice me. I think it would be dope. I think we should do a mixtape.
Are you experimenting with branching out into different genres with your music and collaborations?
Definitely. I don't discriminate. I listen to all different types of music. Genre doesn’t matter, as long as it’s good.
What genres are you looking to tap into?
I don’t really know. I know it’s not going to stay the same because I’m going to change. It’s going to evolve with me. I don’t know where it’s going to go. I don’t plan, I just take it day by day.
How do you think you’ve evolved since you first started creating music?
I think my music when I first started was way more experimental than it is now. I feel like I found a formula now. It’s a little less experimental now.
What would you say that formula is?
Now, I know how to record, start a song, rap, make it rhyme, make it clever, and make it work. When I was learning at first, it was more experimental because I didn’t know what I liked yet.
Are you recording any new projects?
I’ve been recording a lot. I have like, 300 songs. I just don’t know what I’m gonna do with them. I don’t know if I want to be mysterious or if I want to be like NBA Youngboy and release a mixtape every month.
What are some of your favorite songs you’ve written?
‘Tooamiri.’ I made that song when it was my first time in New York. I was overwhelmed and shit. That’s the most vulnerable I’ve been on a song.
What’s your favorite thing you’ve achieved since your music career has blown up?
I think it’s really just other people’s reactions to the music and them saying they love it or listen to me every day.
Do you usually take your fans’ feedback and criticism into consideration when writing music?
Not when I’m making music, but after the process I’ll read their messages to see what they’re saying. After it already comes out, I’ll see how they feel about it and see how they feel about it.
What are you looking most forward to in the future?
I want to release more music and slow down on the shows. I did 20 or 30 shows last year and that shit was draining so I want to slow down. I finally got my passport so I want to finally leave the country.
Do you also want to perform out of the country, or just for leisure?
Yeah, I want to perform. I’m half Nigerian, so I want to go to Nigeria.
You recently performed a freestyle for On the Radar. How was that?
It was pretty good. I feel like whenever I go viral, there are a lot of mixed reactions, which is good. I like the mixed reactions of people loving it and hating it.
What are people saying about the freestyle?
They never really comment on the music. They comment on my appearance. I look rough sometimes, so they’ll tell me to fix my wig or to fix something or that their little brother raps better than me. But people I don’t even know will defend me.
Where do you want to be in your career over the next few years?
I want to stop rapping. I want to make enough money so I don’t have to do this anymore.
What else do you want to pursue?
I want to live in obscurity.
