We’re Going To Dizzyland

Jack— I know you mostly from Instagram, all those little stories… 

Cancel—  Are we recording? Is this on? 

J—  I'm recording now. Yeah. 

C— alright, let's do it. 

J— So I know of you from instagram where you would post these little snippets from your life. I had no idea you made music until you dropped “Gun” . I feel like your writing style is like understating the extraordinary and every sentence is just the truth, the truth, the truth… 

C— The truth is really all I’ve got but I think it’s helpful squeezing it into tiny posts.

J— True, I feel like your songs kind of play well on a loop. 

C— Yeah I wouldn’t know… 

J— And you're from NYC right? 

C— Yeah from the Upper East Side and lived all over until I moved to LA in 2019.

J— Do you ever plan on coming back? 

C— I’m literally sitting with a bunch of boxes of my shit all packed up as we speak, moving back to NYC in about 10 minutes.

J— You’re gonna get a van and drive over? 

C— That would be romantic but i’m just zapping it there with some movers.

J—  why are you leaving LA? 

C— I just have a hard time sitting still, feeling static and it’s just been insane here and I knew I needed to go and I miss playing live music and I feel like live music lives in New York City. I need to have a band and make my apartment my studio.

J— On this album you play every instrument.

C— Yeah it’s just me, I made in about a week it was pretty weird and fast and intense 

J— The Dollhouse, inspired by Pariah the doll? 

C— Haha yeah, no. The Dollhouse was the nickname of the house I lived in LA. Where I spent a lot of time with a really special girl. The album kind of centers around her and the past year 

J— That’s funny I just finished my poetry book this year and I was re-reading it and realized that like every poem is about my Ex 

C— I mean we all need our muses, and she and I muse each still probably always will. She’s a great artist. 

J— Yeah I feel like all relationships with artists work like that. And are often harder because of it. 

C— I don’t think it’s harder, I just think there’s more meat on the bones and the stakes mean more and at the end of the day there’s a whole body of work around you both that you can always visit and touch, you know. 

J— I Think about that song, true love leaves no traces. 

J— I'm recording now. Yeah.

C— Alright, let's do it.

J— Yeah, Leonard is usually right, but I don’t know about that line...

C— I mean, what else is there to write about?

J— Literally.

C— That was the whole album for me, you know, it was just her. You think you're the good guy, and then you wake up one day and realize you're not the good guy. You realize there's no such thing as the good guy or bad girl, and it’s all fine. There’s no wrong, there’s no right—you're both just doing your best and kind of making a mess, but also sucking it up and enjoying the intensity of it. It’s all kind of just sexy and beautiful to me; it’s not that serious even when it is.

J— Well, it's funny, because I feel like a lot of dating advice is about power. But when I'm in love, I am powerless.

C— It’s a fucking surrender for sure. That’s kind of relaxing for me; it’s just good in that way.

J— What's the origin story for the name Cancel?

C— The Cancel thing was an accident. The account started as a shitposting account. I was trying to make the anti-cellectual account because it was 2021 and everybody was making these accounts. I thought it was funny to say "fuck cellectuals," so why not just "cancelcellectuals"? I was just making shitty memes, and then somehow it evolved into an entire persona, which became my real life...

J— And you're unsigned, right?

C— Yeah, I'm doing everything by myself right now...

J— I feel like I didn’t know what you looked like for five years, until you posted a picture of your face covered in worms or something. And I was like, who the fuck is this guy?

C— I don’t know where the worms came from—they weren’t real, it was AI. But I don’t know, I started doing it and then I stopped. I don’t know what to say about the worms...

J— And you toured in Europe for a while too, years ago, right?

C— I had a project called Gambles, which I started in like 2013 or '14. It also kind of happened by accident—it somehow took off, and it kept me traveling for a long time around Europe. It’s still online and out there, and some freaks still listen to it...

J— And then you basically just stopped making music?

C— Yeah, it was a while. Maybe like ten years of quiet? I just stopped doing it; things shut off. I think I was just burnt out. And then I basically made Gun in 15 minutes last year. I had just started dating an amazing girl who is also a songwriter, and I think she kind of pulled it out of me.

J— Yeah, I really like that. That song really gives like male bedroom pop.

C— Not sure if that’s an insult, but thanks. I don’t know—it’s weird, I didn’t plan any of this. The way the account has evolved and the writing and my personal life, it’s all just a big fun mess that’s been posted online.

J— And people can scroll down through your account and piece together a narrative of your life. And you’re now the cover model for John Doe’s book.

C— John Doe is a close friend. But yeah, people scroll, they read, they paint a picture in their head, and they listen to the songs. I have no idea, really—I’m just posting.

J— Shout out John Doe.

C— He’s a good one. He introduced me to Delicious Tacos, and it’s this stupid kind of cliché layer of boys sitting around talking about their writing projects.

J— And exchange war stories?

C— Pretty much.

J— He’s completely anon, right?

C— Yeah. My thing was anonymous for a while too because it was the easiest way to write as myself without feeling fear or anything. And then I realized at some point that I was kind of hiding from myself. And I was like, well, I gotta own this, right? Especially with music. It just felt like the right thing to do.

J— So you’re moving to NYC? A lot of people critique the literary scene in New York, but it is very much alive—troubled, but there’s a beating heart.

C— The NYC vs. LA thing is pretty tired, but Peter Vack took me to Confessions reading, and I really liked it. And I generally hate reading.

J— People in New York really need each other.

C— Yeah, I think that’s what it is. Maybe it’s a proximity thing—you know, bodies on bodies. Everyone is just mashed up together differently compared to LA.

J— I feel like a lot of people get successful in New York, and then they move to LA and fall off immediately, like it makes them stupid or...?

C— LA is a beautiful fantasy, and for a while, I needed that. Not saying my relationships were, but it’s more like you’re in this beautiful bubble, and it’s so easy to float. I miss my city, I miss my family—I wanna be cold again; I don’t even remember what that’s like.

J— It’ll be good to have you back in the city.

C— I feel like it’s a healthy place for Cancel to play around. I think it’s like it’s where I’m supposed to be. It just feels right. I can always fly my muse across the country.